CHAPTER 5: ERIS LIKES TO EAT

The rain just kept on falling…

I lost track of how many days had elapsed since the start of this downpour. It just went on endlessly, though with varying amounts of rainwater. I thought it had been long since the sun had last shown its face on the skies of Chersea.

“Ugh…this sucked,” I muttered to myself.

Well, I couldn’t help it. I got nothing else to get busy with save to kill time by reading books at the library. However, I was already exhausted. I had enough books for the meantime, even if I love those. So instead of reading I just sat here at the edge of my bed, staring at the rain outside, with my mind empty of anything.

This world is peaceful…

“…”

Contrary to the fantasy novels I’ve read before, the land of Chersea had no demon army invasions, nor powerful monsters appearing from time to time and causing havoc. For short, this place was an ideal adventurer’s stopover for rest, and also their worst nightmare.

Yep, I figure that they’ll lose their jobs the moment they settle in this land.

“Hmm…I don’t get what you’re thinking about, Kuro. But I guess I’ll take that as a compliment,” Her Holiness the Saint of Chersea had a sardonic smile. She read my mind once again.

“Err…which part, Your Holiness?”

“The part where you thought it’s too peaceful.”

“I see.”

Well, it was a compliment indeed, though with a minor complaint added as well.

But wait, what are you guys doing in my room?

“As you can see, my head maid likes it being here lately,” Her Holiness explained; her sarcasm never disappearing from her tone, “Not that I’m angry; I’m just curious what makes her do that. So, I came along.”

“Your Holiness…” it was the Head Maid, “I thought we already talked about this. As I’ve told you before, I’d want to spend my free time serving Mister Kuro as thanks for what he did to me before. However, I’d like to reiterate that I am still your faithful servant. In matters of precedence, I’d choose you over him.”

“Hmph. Good to hear that.”

Heh. Her Holiness’ face reeked of jealousy. But wait—what’s the deal about ‘serving me’? I haven’t agreed to anything like that before!

“Kuro, are you saying that you won’t accept Lily’s feelings for you?”

“Ha?” I spat the tea I was drinking, “F-feelings?”

“Your Holiness!” the Head Maid suddenly raised her voice; her face was blushing terribly.

“Come now Lily!” the Saint retorted, her face looked at her servant as if she couldn’t believe what she’s hearing, “You know I don’t like dense guys; I’m thinking of incinerating him if he rejects—”

“Awawawawa!” the blushing Head Maid waved her hands and muttered nonsensical words that drowned the Saint’s voice.

Honestly, they look cute to me.

“Oi,” Her Holiness glared at me, “I know I’m a perfect being, but if you play with Lily’s feelings, I’ll be more than glad to turn you into ashes.”

Sorry, Your Holiness.

I knew the Head Maid’s acting like that because she treated me like her brother. There’s no way I will attract a girl in her right mind.

“You…You dense idiot…” I saw the hand of Her Holiness glow in flames.

I have to get out now, bye!

----------

“Good day, Mister Defender of Her Holi—!”

“It’s Kuro.”

“Good day, Mister Kuro!” the one that greeted me was no other than the captain of Her Holiness’ Paladin Corps, uh…what is her name again?

“Err…good day I guess, uh…” I tried to remember it but nothing came to my mind, save for… “Monmon?” I knew they pronounced her name along with those sounds, and it’s really simple, I forgot it easily.

“That’s mean, you know?” the captain of the guard replied, crying fake tears, “How could you forget the name of a beautiful maiden like me?

“Sorry.”

Hey, it’s not like I intend to do it, unlike you, who keeps on calling me sordid nicknames. So just tell me your name already.

“I’m Dusis Luisa, the Marquise of Monfort,” she grinned as she stood before me, chest out, “Just call me Dusis, or Luisa, whichever you may prefer.”

“I’ll call you Monfort, then.”

“That’s rude!” the Marquise looked at me as if I did something unbelievable, “Aren’t we close already? Together, we defended Her Holi—”

“Monfort’s easy to remember, though,” I cut her off mid-sentence, for I didn’t want to hear that stupid nickname she’s assigned to me. So, I guess this is my revenge? “And I don’t remember you fighting that thief together with me.”

“I was with you, in spirit, though.”

“Nonsense. You don’t even know about me back then and arrested me.”

“Uuu…can’t you take a joke, dude?” the Marquise couldn’t find anything to say back to me.

“Ah, anyway! If you’re looking for Her Holiness, she’s back in my room together with the Head Maid,” I explained to the Marquise of Monfort, to steer-away from that stupid talk, “She’s kind of ill-tempered for now, so I went for a walk to let her cool off for a while.”

“Oh, she is?” the Marquise nodded, “Hm…she’s been like that for quite a while. But well, it’s pretty normal of her, so I guess there’s nothing much to worry about.”

The Marquise may have a point; after all, the Saint was still human; thus, she was prone to a few irritating moments. But since it seemed like Her Holiness and the Head Maid would stay around my room for a while, I took a break from their company and went around…

Yeah, I like to be alone in the meantime.

“Anyway Kuro, I’m looking for someone,” Lady Monfort revealed, as she looked around, “Did you come across a little maid around here with red hair?”

“Hm? I just came from my room, and I have seen no one like that on the way here.”

“Strange…where could’ve she gone?” Lady Monfort muttered to herself while in deep-thoughts.

“Got any problems with that maid, milady?”

“Well, it’s not a problem per se…” Lady Monfort’s thoughts drifted away again, “I’m more like following her.”

“Ha?”

“Oh no!” the paladin captain fiercely shook her head, “No! No! Let’s say I’m watching her.”

Isn’t that stalking, Marquise?

“Don’t look at me like I’m some criminal, I’m just tracking her every move.”

“It’s the same as stalking, you know.”

“It is?”

“Yes.”

“Damn…” the Marquise clicked her tongue, “No wonder why she’d run away from me like that.”

Well, of course, anyone will. Which person, in their right mind, will want to be under surveillance for the entire time?

“I should’ve hidden myself then. Thanks for the suggestion, Mister Kuro.”

I think this paladin doesn’t know the meaning of stalking. And based on her speech, did she follow that poor maid in broad eyesight? It’s no question that girl would freak out, then!

“Ah anyway, Mister Kuro, I think I’m taking too much of your time,” the Marquise of Monfort bowed for a bit and then waved her hand, “If you’ll excuse me, I guess I’ll go to Her Holiness and ask for help in searching for that girl.”

“Ahaha…” I let out a dry laugh; I couldn’t say anything about that, “Good luck with your stalking—I mean, search, then.”

Oh lord, that maid surely is screwed.

----------

Anyway, I continued on my tour. Pondering about the Saint’s recent behavior, I thought Her Holiness was in a foul mood. I mean, look, she’s not being ‘her’. The usual haughty, conceited, and spontaneous Saint that summoned me. If I may describe her in one word, I’d say she’s boorish.

I wonder what made her mood go off like that…

Hey, I get it; she’s jealous about the attention the Head Maid was giving me. Even so, Her Holiness was not like that before. Or did I just assume wrong about her real self? Is she that attached to her servant?

Maybe I should’ve asked the Head Maid to stop giving attention to me. I mean, yeah, her job’s all about the well-being of the Saint, and I was just a stowaway from another world.

Why did the Head Maid even bother with me, anyway?

“…”

Oh great, now where am I?

Honestly, even though I was staying here for quite a long time now, there’s still that chance for me to get lost inside this guest house where I was at. Well, I only knew the path from the main entrance to my room, and vice versa. But yes, I didn’t take the time to explore this vast building.

Maybe this is a good time to do it? After all, I could always find my way back since this place was much smaller than the Saint’s palace. Plus, it’s not like there’d be anything weird that would happen to me while I walked around…

Notwithstanding those black rain clouds outside setting the heavy mood…

And that occasional roar of thunder and flash of lightning…

And I’m all alone in this wide, dark, and cold corridor…

Damn, my brain played that scary church organ background music. Wait, when did this stupid ‘Isekai’ story turn into horror?

----------

Well, I was glad that it did not become something bizarre.

“…”

Although…

What the heck is that maid doing in the middle of the rain?

While going around on my brief tour, I saw a maid outside the windows amid the heavy downpour. She just stood there, with her clothes soaking wet. On her hands were a pair of a broom and dustpan. And her head was downcast as if she was sad and crying.

Is that the maid the Marquise of Monfort is looking for?

I wasted no time. Opening the window and calling out to her, I felt embarrassed when she didn’t even look at me.

Did she hear my shouts in this loud rain?

Man, in this kind of weather, it wasn’t good to be soaking wet. I mean, back on Earth the summer rains were warm and could be enjoyable from time to time, but Chersea’s raindrops were bitingly cold. Even the palace guards, tasked with patrolling the open grounds, would rather stay indoors unless their duty required them to walk outside. And they wore thick clothing under their raincoats and armor when they did that.

So yeah, back to that maid. Well, even if she might be one of those ‘killer maids’ that tried to get rid of me before, I think it’s my instinct to run to her and, at least, get her to a much warmer place.

Besides, it will not hurt to treat your enemies well. You might turn them to your side in due time.

I looked around for solutions; more particularly an umbrella, or anything that could shield me from the downpour. But yeah, this was another world. I guess there’s no umbrella or anything of the sort that could be found lying around.

Oh well, I still have my coat with me.

So, with no further delay, I climbed over the window—it’s not that high to be unreachable anyway, being on the first floor—and ran towards the maid.

God, this rain is freezing!

“Hey!” I tried to raise my voice to its highest volume, but the downpour drowned my shouts. The maid remained unmoved, possibly because she didn’t hear or notice me coming.

“!!!”

“Hey!” I lightly tapped the maid’s shoulder the moment I reached her. By then, I was also soaking wet. She almost jumped in surprise, but finally, she turned to look at the one who surprised her.

“What are you doing here? Isn’t it freezing? Would you like to come with me to a nicer place?”

Err…why do I sound like I’m picking up girls? Well, sorry Miss Maid, I’m not good with words.

Because of the heavy rains, the maid’s red hair had now covered her face entirely. But I guess she could still glance at me through the gaps in her bangs? I could feel her stare; however, what made me weirded out was when she suddenly ran, leaving the bewildered me behind, and disappearing into the thick fog.

“…”

Uh…do I look like a pervert or something? What is her deal, anyway?

----------

The next ‘day’ after that, my head was aching, as if it’s being pounded repeatedly. Also, my body’s heavy and lethargic, and I had a terrible cold. I just remained on my bed and sitting beside me was no other than Her Holiness the Saint herself…again.

“I know you’re a strange otherworlder…” Her Holiness didn’t hide her irritation, “But I never thought that you’d be stupid enough to brave the rains without a raincoat at least.”

Well, sorry.

“You better be,” the Saint replied, “Lily’s been worried sick about you when she saw you drenched outside in the courtyard. What are you doing there?”

“I told you I saw one of your maids standing there, and I rushed over to see what’s wrong. And then that maid suddenly ran when I asked her to come over here.”

“Ah yeah, you’re telling the truth,” Her Holiness agreed, having read my mind while I tried to recall the events, “Haa…can’t help it, I guess…you scared her, I think?”

Well, sorry for having this kind of face.

“Nah,” the Saint patted my head, “It’s not your fault you’re ugly.”

This girl…

“Hmm…what I find strange is, what’s that girl doing outside?” Her Holiness tilted her head on one side as she was feeling my body temperature.

“Well, I think I got an idea. Lady Monfort was following a maid with red hair before. I think it’s the one she’s tracking and that servant must’ve freaked out by her outrageous behavior.”

“It’s possible. Lady Monfort is a well-known skirt chaser of maids around here.”

Hey now. If you know about that, then do something already.

“It’s fine. She’s a ‘safe’ pervert, after all.”

What? A ‘safe’ pervert? Is there even such a being?

“Well, she can’t do anything to us girls anyway, other than to get touchy. Unlike you boys…well, you know what I’m talking about.”

There’s something wrong with your standards, Your Holiness, you know that?

“Mind your tongue. I’m a holy person, you know?”

I’m not even speaking!

Dude, this conversation was going on a weird turn, so I changed the topic, “Ah anyway, Your Holiness, Lady Monfort mentioned back then that she’ll ask you for help about the maid. Didn’t she come here and tell you about that?”

“Lady Monfort?”

“Yeah.”

“I haven’t seen her lately.”

“Hm? That’s odd, she says she’d come to you and ask for help to look for that maid.”

The Saint fell quiet. It seemed she was thinking of something.

Don’t you think now’s the good time you use your ability to read minds and peer into what your guards and maids are thinking?

“Impossible,” Her Holiness shook her head, “I can’t read all of their minds in one sitting, you know?”

“Oh…so it’s not possible, huh? I guess even having the power of the gods, you are still being limited—”

“Ahem,” Her Holiness cleared her throat, “Technically, it’s possible. However, if I read all of their minds at once, what do you think would happen to me? Everything will be jumbled, it’ll be practically useless.”

Oh, so there are limits to your god-like powers for being a human—

“Ahem,” Her Holiness’ face looked calm, but I could see a vein popping on her head, “Being a human is out of the question here, K-Kuro. It’s just that, I don’t want a deluge of information crashing on my head all at once.”

Uhh…what’s the difference between my statement and your excuse? And what about those people who pray to you all at the same time? Don’t you even try to hear their prayers?

“Ahem…K-Kuro…” Her Holiness was trembling, and her face was red, “I-I just…l-like, err…being organized…yeah, that’s it. I want things to be organized, even in prayers.”

So, you don’t hear their prayers after all! Bad Saint!

“Grr!” Oho, it looked like Her Holiness, the Saint of Chersea was back to her usual conceited self! She stood up and stomped her way to the door, “Alright, that’s it! I came here because of Lily’s request to heal you, and now I think I’ll let you get sick for a while!” she thundered out of my room.

Err…seems like I struck a few strings, huh?

Heh! It’s worth it!

----------

Fuck, I take back what I said.

“…”

My head was now spinning, and it felt like it’s being squeezed in a vice grip. Ugh…pissing off the Saint isn’t a good idea. Hahaha…

“!!!” I heard three knocks at my room’s door. “Kuro?”

I guess it’s the Head Maid; I tried to stand up, but my legs won’t let me, so I just told her, “I-it’s open.”

The door slowly opened, and after taking a peek, the Head Maid entered my room. Before her was a cart that was full of foodstuffs and some strange-looking bottles with different-colored liquids. I guess this angel brought it to me since I couldn’t even stand…

“And here, take some medicines too,” once she noticed my eyes were on the bottles, she handed me one filled with red liquid; it reminded me of potions that were being sold in MMORPGs by the town NPCs.

“Ah, thanks!” the Head Maid assisted me when I tried to sit; I was too embarrassed to disturb her, but I guess I couldn’t do anything about my situation. “Please, just put those down on the table.”

She did what I requested of her to do. And then, the Head Maid sat on a chair beside my bed, while silently staring at me.

“Err…” the atmosphere between us was awkward; I wanted to eat the food, but her presence and her gaze put off my appetite, “You need anything else from me, Head Maid?”

“Lily.”

“Hm?”

“Please call me Lily from this moment on, Kuro,” the Head Maid pouted, “And why did you annoy Her Holiness?”

“Oh…well, I find it cute,” I told my honest feelings and chuckled, “But yeah, I’m sorry that you have to go out your way just to request Her Holiness to heal me. And you also brought that medicine for me.”

“Her Holiness is the one who gave that medicine to me,” I could sense the irritation in her voice, “She told me to use it on you so you can recover quickly.”

Oh…so Her Holiness is a kind soul after all…I will not piss you off from now on.

“Please tell her my thanks,” I told the Head Maid.

“I will,” she replied curtly, “By the way, I set aside that food for you, you know?”

“Thank you!”

“Hmph!”

Err…are you angry, Head Maid?

Another moment of silence and tension filled the room. The Head Maid quietly sat beside my bed, this time, while looking down. I was about to ask her what was wrong when I noticed her ears were red as well. What’s going on in her mind, I wonder?

“Uhh…H-Head Maid—”

“It’s Lily!”

“Ah y-yeah, L-L-L-Lily…” I’m not used to calling her by name, that’s why I’m stammering! “W-would you mind if I ask you to go for now? I’d like to eat the food you brought to me…”

“I’ll feed you.”

“Eh?”

“I’ll feed you!” the Head Maid—I mean, Lily—reiterated, this time she stood up and leaned towards me as she grabbed the spoon I was holding, “Don’t refuse, Kuro! I need to make sure you eat properly.”

“Ookaaay…” I was having weird thoughts, but I guess this could work out. I’m sick anyway.

“But first, you need to take off your clothes.”

“Ha?” Come again, Lily? Surely, I must’ve misheard you—

“T-t-t-take off y-your c-c-c-c-clothes!” Lily was stammering; her face was blushing terribly, and her eyes were trying to avert my gaze. However, I could also tell that she’s trying hard to be firm on me, “I-I-I-I would like to…w-w-w-w-w-wipe the sweat of your b-b-b-body!” She pulled a towel from inside her uniform.

Honestly, that made sense. I’m sick and sweating all the time, so it will not hurt to have someone take care of me…

But well, Lily’s eyes were creeping me out. I mean, what’s with the intense, freaky gaze? And she’s blushing terribly, too. And now that I’ve noticed, her breathing was rather heavy and erratic…

Fuck.

I forgot that Lily’s nuts towards her older brother in the past. And she’s treating me like him now…

“Uhh…L-Lily…I guess I’d be the one to wipe myself…”

“No need, Kuro,” Lily took hold of my shirt, “Let me take care of you.”

“Haha…really, I can take care of myself,” I tried to release myself from her grip, but she pushed forward that our lips almost touched. Her eyes looked passionately at me, and honestly, my heart was also beating fast by now.

Whoa…is Lily look this lovely before?

“Don’t worry, I’m trained to take care of you,” Lily removed the buttons of my shirt. Her other free hand restrained my arms, so I won’t put up a fight. Anyway, I was feeling awfully weak, too, so I couldn’t resist properly. I could hear her heavy breaths…

Hiiii! Lily, you’re seriously creeping me out!

“Kuro…” She was about to remove the last button of my shirt. I was, uh, about to lose my reason as well…Dear lord, I want to be popular with the ladies, but not this way…

“Head Maid, Her Holiness is asking for you.”

Lily snapped out of her trance and looked behind, then she released me and clicked her tongue. That was because, right at the door, was the maid, Eris.

Thank you, God! Wait, why did I suddenly saw Her Holiness winking at me in my mind? Did she just hear my prayer and assumed I thanked her?

----------

Well, this was awkward.

“…”

Another round of silence filled my room. That maid who just came, Eris, sat beside my bed as if waiting for something, while I was trying to make sense of what had just transpired between me and the Head Maid, Lily.

Honestly, I thought that when she appeared, Eris would go ‘Kyaa! Pervert!’ and would send me flying with a powerful slap on the cheek—just like your usual harem manga tropes. But this girl just quietly took all of those in.

Well, I guess this is for the better. At least, I didn’t have to explain a lot of things to her then.

“…”

“Err…” I broke the ice; it’s not like I’d lose something if I did that. Honestly, I just want to be left alone.

“Y-yes, M-m-mister K-Kuro?” Eris jolted. I could sense the invisible barrier she was putting up between us. Like the other maids save for Lily; they treated me like I was some kind of trash.

Well, if she doesn’t want to be here, she can just leave.

“Uhh…if possible, I guess you may leave if you’re not comfortable,” I suggested; though I would like to order her to if I could. However, I never want to sound rude to her.

“H-h-her Holiness a-a-asked Eris to come and t-t-t-take over the Head Maid. W-w-w-would you like Eris to c-continue what you two are doing when Eris came?”

“No!” I immediately refused, “At least, let me take care of myself.”

“O-oh…” Eris’ face remained indifferent, but her face was red, “W-well, if Mister Kuro so desires E-Eris to leave, then Eris will excuse herself.”

“Thanks!” Well, even if she treated me like shit, I was still grateful that she came and interrupted Lily at the right time.

Eris stood up, gracefully bowed, and went through the door. However, just as she was about to let herself out…

“!!!”

I heard a loud noise and saw the little maid barely clinging to the doorknob. She was about to collapse, so even if I felt bad, adrenaline took over and I rushed to her side.

“Oi! Are you alright?” Fortunately, I caught Eris as she let go of the doorknob she was holding to, “What happened to you?”

“E-Eris is f-fine, Mister K-Kuro,” she replied weakly.

There’s no way you sound and look okay, you know?

“Are you sick?” I felt her temperature on the forehead. She’s a little hot—a sign of fever, but otherwise, she seemed fine.

“N-no need to w-worry, Eris is okay—”

“Well, I think you got a fever,” I was thinking of having her drink a portion of the medicine Lily gave me—

“!!!”

We both stared at each other. Eris’ face blushed terribly. Well, she couldn’t help it. That was a loud grumble that I heard.

“Want to eat something?” I asked her.

Eris meekly nodded.

----------

“Eat slowly, you might choke yourself if you don’t slow down,” I reminded Eris as she continued to gulp down everything that Lily brought for me.

“Oh…Eris is *munch* sorry, *crunch* Mister Kuro,” she replied in between her bites. Looks like this maid hasn’t eaten for days.

“It’s fine,” I reassured her, “At least I’m relieved that it’s not something serious.”

Eris then paused and stared at me.

“W-what?” I asked.

“It’s nothing…”

Eris broke the bread she was holding in two halves, offering one to me.

“No, I’m good,” I think she would need it more than I. You can have it all.

Eris then ate everything until none was left. Well, I couldn’t deny that I was impressed; the food that Lily brought for me was plentiful. I think the head maid’s planning to feed me ’till I burst.

“Uhm…Mister Kuro. Eris is sorry for leaving nothing to eat for you.”

“Nah, I told you I’m okay.” Well, I was telling her the truth. I drank some of that red potion medicine that Her Holiness gave me before, “I don’t feel like eating at all, anyway. And consider that as thanks for coming in earlier.”

“Eris understands…” she was apologetic.

“So, did you drink the medicine I gave you?”

The maid nodded.

“Well, anyway, what happened to you? It seems like you haven’t eaten for some time.”

Eris fell silent. Her meek expression suddenly turned tense, and she avoided my eyes.

This maid is hiding something.

“…”

Now that I could take a good look at her, Eris had curly red hair, matching that of the maid I saw in the middle of the rain before. Her fever further confirmed her identity to me as the girl in question.

Lady Monfort’s face flashed in my mind.

“Ah, don’t mind me,” I immediately took back what I asked; I guess I won’t pry any further. Everyone had a secret or two that they hide from others, after all. I took my blanket and laid down to rest.

“Uhh, Mister Kuro?”

“Yes?”

“Do you need anything from Eris?”

“Nah. You can just leave the dishes there; I’ll take it out once I wake up,” I waved my hand as a signal that she could leave.

A long pause followed. I almost thought that Eris left, but then I heard her whisper, “Thank you, Mister Kuro.”

I pretended to be asleep already. Then the door creaked softly; Eris must’ve let herself out.

God, I’m so effing cool!

“…”

Damn…I’m starving.

On second thought, I think I should’ve taken on her offer earlier and ate that other half of the bread.

So that means I’m also stupid, I guess?