CHAPTER 2: A ‘HEALTHY’ DISCUSSION

The next thing I knew, there was a commotion right at the altar of the cathedral.

“…”

Like the Marquise, I also fell asleep in the middle of the sermon of the Grand Mother Templar Superior. When I came to my senses, the paladin with me was still sleeping, but the entire cathedral was in an uproar.

Seriously, is everyone working in this place some sort of heavy sleepers?

Anyway, I carefully made my way towards the balcony that overlooked the altar. As I’ve said before, the Saint’s Cathedral was a colossal building, so it’s not surprising that there would be a lot of these rooms to cater to the highly esteemed visitors attending the church services. Looking around, I noticed the others, who were also in their own dignitaries’ box, staring down at the scene below.

Naturally, my eyes went there as well, trying to understand what’s happening.

“…”

The old lady standing at the middle of the podium wearing religious garb must be the Grand Mother Templar Superior. On her flanks stood two members of the Paladin Corps. The crowd directly below was noisy; some were visibly angry, while others just stood at their spot, confused.

What’s going on?

“I would like to give our apologies to everyone who came here,” the Grand Mother Templar Superior bowed, “But it seems there is a problem with Her Holiness appearing before us. She told me she has to keep herself isolated for now because of some pressing matters.”

“What’s happening? Is Her Holiness okay?” someone from the crowd threw the question everyone’s wanting to ask.

Another one shouted, “It’s been three services that she missed! This isn’t normal; tell us what’s going on!”

“I wouldn’t know for sure,” the old lady answered calmly, trying to placate the crowd’s worries, “But please, the service would continue as usual; the Great Saint has sent us Her blessings! May we request everyone to stay and receive what Her Holiness has given us.”

It took a good deal of time before the disappointed crowd was convinced to calm down. The commotion happened when it was time for the Saint to appear to the churchgoers and would’ve given them their blessings. I knew little, but from what I’ve heard and understood, the people of Chersea consider this disappearance a bad omen, though not necessarily unprecedented.

Hmm…what the heck’s going on with Her Holiness?

That question came into my mind as I watched the people line up to receive their ‘blessing’. Those who were in the dignitaries’ boxes were also going down to join the crowd.

“…”

And yet, this stupid paladin is still snoring beside me. I guess it’s time to play the villain, huh?

“Hey, Lady Monfort!” I roused the Marquise of Monfort, pulling her blanket and shaking her, “Lady Monfort, it’s time to receive the blessing! Hey!”

----------

The aftermath of the Seasonal Mass service was a nightmare. The nobles and other dignitaries left the cathedral angry, sad, dismayed, or a combination of those. Many had sincerely hoped that they would catch a glimpse the Holy Maiden, only to be disappointed when the old Grand Mother Templar Superior appeared in her stead.

I mean, if I also have the same intention, I will be displeased. No one wants to watch an old lady anyway…

“…”

A-ahem, anyway, as I’ve said, everyone was mad. However, they also couldn’t help but be concerned about the condition of Her Holiness. What caused her to decide not to appear on one of Chersea’s important occasions? There could only be speculations.

As for the Marquise, she spent the entire time after waking up, assisting the nobles and dignitaries out of the cathedral. The crowd was getting restless the moment the blessings were given, and they had to call-off the final benediction, as well as put the entire Seasonal Mass celebration on hold.

Man, this affair sure is a disaster.

I wonder what’s going on in Her Holiness’ mind right now. I was sure that the incident would come to her knowledge soon, and it wouldn’t be long before she acts.

Although, if the opportunity permits it, maybe I should also drop her a visit?

You see, it’s been quite a while since Her Holiness and her Head Maid, Lily, had come to my room. Not that I was wishing for it, but knowing the Saint, maybe she got lazy for a while…or worst, she is bored with me.

“Hmm…that wouldn’t be possible, Master.”

Ugh, how can I forget? I also have another problem here…

“Hey, that’s rude, Master Kuro!”

“I told you to stop reading my mind, Your Fluffy Holiness!” I turned to the person beside me, the holy beastwoman named Ruro of the Wolf, “And also, I thought we already talked about this? I’m not your master anymore, and also, you’re a Saint, and—according to general logic, you’re an existence higher than me. Please act like one; don’t call me ‘master’ in front of these people!”

I got a good reason for telling her off. Our scene could cause some serious misunderstanding with the townsfolk of Arles, who were still reeling from the ‘Seasonal Mass’ incident.

I mean, man, those sharp glares had some other meaning to it than getting seriously pissed…

Truth be told, it had only been about one ‘long sleep’ that passed after that incident. With nothing else to do, I decided to go back looking for work. The mood was not well inside the Holy Palatial Gardens right now, since the Human Saint had never appeared to anyone besides a few of her servants. Celebrations about the change of the season were a muted one, and I could tell just by looking at the townsfolk at Arles that they’re worried about Her Holiness’ condition.

And to think, I compared it to ‘Christmas’…now, it feels like it’s ‘Good Friday’.

Her Fluffy Holiness also came with me, saying that she wanted to see the human town. Probably it’s because she also felt the heavy atmosphere inside the palatial gardens, but I didn’t expect her to be way too clingy to me.

“Hey! You’ve been thinking too much of Maddie, even though you got me around!”

“Uh, will you please stop reading my mind like how Her Holiness does, Your Fluffy Holiness?” I pleaded, “I’m just concerned about the Human Saint’s condition; since her disappearance has been affecting these townsfolk lately.”

“Hm? I’m telling you there’s no need for such worries!” the Beastman Saint replied. “She’s pretty much okay!”

“Huh? Did you come and see her lately?”

“Nope. She commanded Princess Lily not to let anyone come near her,” Her Fluffy Holiness shook her head and shrugged, “And most of the time I was inside my room or running around the gardens, so I don’t have the time to visit Maddie lately.”

“What made you say that she’s fine, then?”

“Intuition?”

That’s utter bullshit, Your Fluffy Holiness. You can be wrong.

“I could read minds, Master Kuro, let me remind you.”

“S-sorry.”

“Ah, anyway! Even though I’m a saint, I’m still a member of the Beastman Race,” she declared as she puffed out her chest, “And like pure animals, we only trust in our instincts! So, we rarely go wrong.”

“That’s…That’s cheating, you know,” I found no answer to that counter-statement of hers; she had a point. Animals had a heightened sense of their environment, even back in my old world. It’s a well-documented case; there were several instances that before an earthquake, or other natural disaster, animals would come out from their usual hiding places and make it out to safety. And to think that she could also sense Her Holiness’ condition right now…

It’s a pretty convenient ability…and a cool one too.

“Oh, I didn’t expect that you would see it like that, Master Kuro!” Her Fluffy Holiness was amused, “Most humans take this ability of ours for granted. Long ago, we used to warn them about disasters but they rarely listen. And yet, here you are, admiring this natural trait of the Beastmen. You’re one peculiar human.”

“Well, maybe it’s because I’m not of this world?”

“Haha! True, Master! Very true!”

“Ah…all that talk has made me hungry,” I stretched my stiff and tired arms, “Well then, before we look around the town, want to grab something to eat?”

“Alright! Now that’s what I want to hear from my master!” Ruro of the Wolf’s eyes suddenly became bright, and her tail flailed wildly.

I can’t help but find it cute. She looks like a lapdog.

“Master…I’m a wolf,” Her Fluffy Holiness’ face turned sour, “To think a noble being like me would be compared to a lowly dog…you’ve hurt my feelings!”

“Ah, sorry! Sorry!” Even though I apologized, I still saw Her Fluffy Holiness as a dog. Yep, I was thinking of her face, stuck on the head of a pug. Dang, I need to stop this before she reads—

“Gah! What’s that ugly dog in your—you’re a terrible master!” Her Fluffy Holiness was screaming in embarrassment now.

----------

So, my job hunt was unsuccessful in the end…as usual.

The townsfolk in Arles were in a foul mood because of the recent events. Of course, the primary reason for the town’s attraction had disappeared, thus the visitors were fewer than they expected. And because of that, I got rejected by the shops I tried to apply to. The only notable thing that happened was that Her Fluffy Holiness, Ruro of the Wolf, got real pissed off by my mental image of her on a pug’s body. As a result, I had to treat her to the most expensive food I could afford.

I tried to reason out with her—saying it was only a joke, but Her Fluffy Holiness wouldn’t budge.

Come on, what’s wrong with pugs? I mean, look at those adorable dogs with faces that seemed like it was flattened by a steamroller…they’re so ugly it’s cute—bueh!

My face suddenly got hit by a bunch of flying leaves. I guess the Beastman Saint is fuming mad once again.

Damn, I should keep myself from imagining that whenever Her Fluffy Holiness is around…

Anyway, from what I understood early on, I thought Her Holiness had agreed before that I was entitled to a seasonal ‘pension’ of 20 silver coins while staying here at the palatial gardens. It’s kind of similar to a ‘salary’, but I think of it more like an ‘allowance’ from the Human Saint herself since she felt responsible for summoning me here in the first place.

Well, even though I feel bad about it, I guess I have no other choice, do I? I mean, I didn’t want to end up penniless once again. And I still had the goal of moving out, eventually. So, any kind of help will do.

I’ll just pay it off someday to Her Holiness when I made it big in this world…

So, without further delay, I went to the head maid to ask about the arrangements on how would I receive my allotment. Fortunately, I didn’t have to look long for her; she had been seeking for me.

“Oh, hello Kuro!” Lily greeted me with a smile.

“Hey, it’s been a while!” I waved my hand, “How’re things going, Head Maid?”

“Please call me Lily,” she was pouting for a moment, but then Lily continued, all business-like and monotonous in her voice, “Well, there’s no illness that’s affecting Her Holiness right now; she’s pretty much fine. Although the seasonal mass this time is a failure, she has expressed her desire to hold it some other time.”

“I-I see…” I nodded, quite relieved at the head maid’s forced answer, “Well, at least, Her Holiness is progressing to move on despite all that had happened before.”

Lily turned nostalgic, “Yes…honestly, I don’t know nor can I imagine what would’ve happened if Maddie died back then. I don’t want to lose important people to me anymore.”

I could only stare at the head maid in silence.

“Ah Mister Kuro, I just recalled, Her Holiness wants you to drop by her room. She says she’d like to give you your allotment.”

“Oh, okay!” Man, that’s nice to hear. At least, the Saint remembered about the allotment. Not only do I have to suffer the embarrassment of bringing it up first, but it’s also a good sign that Her Holiness would always keep her promise. “Mind if I had you accompany me in there, Lily?”

“Ah, you don’t have to ask; my answer will always be ‘yes’ if it’s you, Kuro!”

“Haha! Alright then, thanks, Lily!” And without further ado, we both marched towards the Saint’s quarters.

----------

“Come in, it’s open!” was Her Holiness’ response when we knocked at her door. It’s been long since I last heard that gentle and dignified voice of hers. Seeing that there’s no further hindrance, Lily opened the door herself and let us both in.

“Ah, hello Kuro and Lily!” Her Holiness greeted us as she sat by a chair set beside the windows. A white curtain was draped between her and the spot where we stood, and we could tell it was put there for her to hide from us.

“…”

I think it was strange, so I looked at the head maid, searching for answers. Her Holiness wasn’t the type of person who would keep people away from seeing her, and this was the first time I saw her like that.

However, it was the Saint who replied to my questions in mind, “Oh, if you’re wondering why there’s a curtain between us, I’m keeping a distance from people for now. I’m sick, you know.”

Oh, so that’s the reason behind the curtains, huh?

“…”

Wait, isn’t she the saint who’s given powers to heal the sick? Don’t tell me Her Holiness can’t use those abilities on herself!

“Err…I’m just out of mana…y-yes!” Her Holiness frantically explained her side.

Hmm? Out of mana? That’s even more strange. Her Holiness the Saint was resting for a while. I mean, she’s refusing personal appearances and visits from her patrons, citing her need to rest. And it had been long since she began doing that. If she claimed to be out of mana even though she’s well-rested, then there must be something else that’s causing her mana drain…

“Guh…you’re sharp as always…” I heard Her Holiness mutter behind the veil.

And then, Lily spoke, “Your Holiness! I brought Kuro here as you asked.” By the tone of her voice, I could sense something from the head maid; it’s as if she wanted to reveal something.

“You didn’t have to bring him inside,” the Saint retorted, “And besides, you’re the one who suggested that I hand over Kuro’s money to him.”

Oi, what’s the meaning of your conversation, guys?

“Anyway, here! Lily, please give this to Kuro!” Her Holiness extended an arm out of the curtain, with the pouch containing my money in her hand.

“I thought we already talked about it, Your Holiness?” I could feel Lily was getting annoyed, “You are the one who’ll give it to Kuro!”

“B-but, I’m sick!”

“You won’t fool this man, Maddie!” the Head Maid quickly countered, “Can’t you even see that he already knows you’re hiding something?”

The oppressive air around Lily had grown three-fold. She won’t back down soon, even if it was the Saint herself who’d be her opponent. Her Holiness fell silent.

Lily turned to me. It’s as if she wanted me to go past those curtains and see the condition of the Saint for myself.

“…”

Okay, if you so insist!

“Wait! Kuro, please stay back—” Her Holiness desperately pleaded.

Come on, what’s with giving me money while hiding, Your Holiness? You’ll just hand it over to me and be done with it! As simple as that—

“!!!” I opened the curtains and, lo-and-behold! Her Holiness the Saint came into my full view…

Wait, who the hell are you?

“I told you I don’t want Kuro to see me like this, Lily!” Her Holiness—or I mean, the girl sitting behind the curtain bawled at us.

“…”

Lily remained unmoved, but she had a pitying, sarcastic expression written on her face. I was confused.

This girl who is in tears before us is the Great Saint of Chersea?

She had grown fa—I mean, healthy!

Author's Note:  About the title...

The word 'healthy' is one of the Filipino euphemisms for 'being fat'. It's pretty common to say 'You're getting healthy!" in our greetings with friends and family we haven't seen for a long time and they added a few kilos in their weight.