Annoyance is the only word in Toshiro Okumori's head.

Toshiro Okumori

After Miyake had caught me trying to meddle in some first-year problems without her, she maintained a foul mood for the rest of the week as if she was some type of spoiled child. Every time she caught sight of me at school, she’d turn the other way and pout.

Well, it’s not like I’m complaining. If that meant that she wouldn’t bother me anymore, then maybe it was the right thing to do.

It was now Saturday morning, and Miyake hadn't talked to me since. However, I felt more relaxed and composed now with Miyake gone. It seemed that I was always tired and stressed due to how many social interactions she forced me into, and a simple day by myself was more soothing and peaceful than any other day I’ve had in a while.

And so, here I am; on my bed and still half asleep. It took another fifteen minutes of groggily squirming around in the bed and attempting to go back to sleep until I quit and rose up. I yawned, lifted my arms in the air, and stretched as I did so. I then took my blanket and pulled it away from my body.

This time, I was wearing clothes. Yes. Clothes. Ever since Miyake had inadvertently seen my bare body twice, I started to fear that she might see the third time, so I ended up creating the habit of making sure to wear clothes before I went to sleep.

I set my legs down on the carpet floor and stood up.

I then lazily made my way to the kitchen and rubbed my eyes with my hands as I walked. Once I had been in reach of the kitchen drawers, I opened them and took a peek inside.

I spotted a pill bottle hiding behind some medicine boxes and reached inside to grab it. I pulled it out from the drawer, and with my eyes that were still too soporific from staying up too late, I had to move the bottle a little closer so I could distinguish its label.

It took me a second, but I'd eventually read what was labeled on the bottle. In a bold font, it had been named: Paroxetine.

I set my hand on the lid firmly and pulled it upwards until I heard a small click. I twisted it to the right shortly after and pulled the lid off from the bottle. I then tilted the bottle over to the left and gently tapped it against the table, resulting in a single tablet that emerged from it. I watched it as it whirled like a pirouette, until it finally came down and laid flat on the table.

I put the bottle back into the drawer and snatched myself a glass cup of water, then gulped down the tablet. After I had taken my medicine, I made my way to the bathroom to brush my teeth.

Once I came in, I began to expressionlessly look at myself in the mirror, with my untidy hair and drooping eyes.

I’m such a mess.

I put the toothbrush in my mouth and started to brush before I could think of any other depressing thoughts.

Knock knock. A sound came from the front door.

Straightaway, I let out a jaded groan. My mom was most likely still asleep around this time, so that left me in charge of the house until then. Seeing how I was still drowsy from waking up, I found it too strenuous to go all the way back down and open the door. So I just ignored it.

The person didn't stop, though, and continued knocking.

They're desperate, aren't they? If you’re dropping off something, then just leave it there and I’ll get it later!

After two more minutes of relentless and aggravating knocking, I finally mustered up the courage to answer. With my bed hair and the toothbrush still in my mouth, I stomped my way downstairs irately, grabbed the door handle, and slammed it open. The person who was outside let out a frightened shriek in return.

"O-Okumori-kun?!"

I looked up and saw Miyake standing right in front of me.

"Um... Hi! Could we talk for-?”

I gripped the door handle tightly and shut the door closed, interrupting Miyake's question. I couldn't care less about her sudden question, because I only wanted to rest in serenity. I wasn't going to have my off day ruined by her never-ending chattering.

I went back inside my bathroom and finished brushing my teeth, then exited outside to head for my room.

"Okumori-kun! I want to talk!"

Perplexed, I looked over in the direction of the voice, just to be in dismay as I saw who it was. I could see Miyake’s head peering over the windows as she waved optimistically at me. Her voice was muffled behind the window, but I could hear her loud and clear.

"Hey! Let me in!" She called.

"Tch," I grumbled.

I stormed my way to the window and pulled it upwards to scowl at Miyake.

“What?” I demanded.

Her face turned into a beam, just before she began to take a few steps back.

"I'm coming in, Okumori-kun!" She yelled.

Instantly, I knew what she was doing. In haste, I tried to grab the window to slam it shut, but my attempt was unsuccessful as I felt a bear hug clasp around me. Already knowing what was going to happen, I let out a small sigh.

A grunt came out of me as her arms tightly connected around my arms, pursued by both of us falling down to the floor with a loud crash. As we landed, I could feel nothing but stoicism.

"Ouch." I blankly muttered.

She pulled herself off my chest but stayed on my stomach as she looked down at me remorsefully. "Sorry!" Miyake blurted.

She then got off and wiped away whatever dust or particles came into contact with her clothing with her hands. Once she recognized that I was still on the ground and too tired to move, she crouched down and looked at me with her head tilted.

"Okumori-kun?" She questioned, concerned.

With my somnolent eyes, I looked over.

"Are you going to get up?”

I shook my head.

Miyake lured her head more to the left and continued to stare at me with slight worry.

"Did you get enough sleep, Okumori-kun? You look gloomy."

She then paused and turned away. "Well, you were always gloomy. Am I worrying about nothing?" She looked back at me.

I moved my head up and down.

Miyake sighed and sat next to me.

"Hey, I wonder. Does it hurt for you to smile? The only time you've smiled was when we first met in that convenience store. I could tell it wasn't a real smile either." She sounded bitter. “Is it that bad to have a little fun in your life?”

I simply stared at the light brown ceiling without moving a muscle. Her wild stunt immobilized me, and I wasn’t too fond of the idea of answering her question either.

"Do I have to use my hands to force you to smile?" She leaned forwards.

What? Is she going to tickle me? I grumped at her, hoping that she wouldn't. But instead of tickling me, she did something unexpected.

Miyake fixed herself inches away from my face and inspected me, then lifted both of her index fingers, and placed them on the sides of my mouth. Her nails pierced my skin as she pulled upwards, quite literally forcing a smile on my face.

"Hmm... I don't feel anything exciting from you..." She indicated.

I blankly stared at her, before lightly slapping her hands away from my mouth. I now sat upwards and retained my glowering attitude.

"Sorry. Does that count as a smile? I don't think it does. You should seriously smile, Okumori-kun! It’s good for your health!”

It's already been a few minutes since you’ve entered and I’m already mentally drained. How is that even possible? Are you some sort of energy absorber? I raised my hand and brought it right to left to deny her offer.

Her bliss, however, converted more into an unhappy mood as she rested her arms down on her lap. Now, she appeared glum and rueful while aiming her gaze to the floor.

“I’m sorry. I’m just trying to lighten up the mood. I came here because I wanted to apologize for ignoring you for the past few days. It was selfish of me, forgive me…” She lowered her head.

As she bowed to me, I stared at her in slight hatred. I had been enjoying it, Miyake. Why couldn't you keep ignoring me?

She tugged on my shirt soon after I had noticed it and looked up at me with a sullen frown.

"I'm not mad anymore." She grumbled sourly. “I swear.”

No, you definitely are. Your expressions say the exact opposite.

"No… I'm still mad!” She now admitted. “You should've asked me for help!"

That's the tenth time you’ve said that. I gave her a disgruntled look, already uninterested.

"You didn't find anything at all in that classroom, did you, Okumori-kun?"

I watched as Miyake let go of my shirt and lifted her legs closer to her torso. She hugged them with her arms and continued to lecture me. "You know, the teachers wouldn't put any valuable information about their students inside their desk unguarded. You wouldn't have found anything important at all!”

I let out a tired nod to her statement. In a way, she was right. Deep down, I knew that I wouldn't find anything, but just the mere thought of sneaking into a classroom and possibly finding something important was enough to make me feel slightly amused.

How foolish that was.

"I did my research by the way. Shiori-chan's an idol. Instead of going gung-ho and trying to find any papers about her, I just did one quick search on my phone and found out.”

I looked over at her, now intrigued.

"It’s a different person when she’s dancing. She doesn’t look shy nor miserable as she looks when she’s at school.” She sorrowfully noted.

Miyake stared at the wooden floor she sat on gloomily. “It’s just… I saw what happened to Shiori-chan by peeking from the door. You did too, right?”

I reluctantly nodded.

She met my gaze and held a distressed look. "Look, we don't have to be friends with her, but don't you think we should at least help her? It’s not right for anybody to go through that.”

No. No, I’m not doing that.

I waved my hand at her and shook my head. The suggestion that came out of Miyake's mouth was purely idiotic in my opinion.

Helping someone was just for self-satisfaction. Without supporting someone, you feel guilt come over you. In fact, I believe that there is no such thing as "generosity."

Generosity is just a mere word to deceive you. It's just a cover-up for selfishness. Motivated by their egocentric self, they find ways to satisfy themselves. Under that so-called "generosity" is a simple act to boost their ego.

Helping someone was also just an excuse for friendship, too. To earn that trust whether it was intentional or not. And once you earn that trust, they start to rely on and cling to you like a dog.

I don’t want to befriend anyone. Or in particular, I don’t want to be depended on. Not again. Especially by someone who had been stalking me.

Miyake rested the right side of her face on her knees and continued to eye me. "Okumori-kun, shouldn't we at least do something? Judging by how oddly she tried to befriend you, it seemed that she doesn't have much experience in those types of relationships. It's sad to see her being thrown around like that."

What? That doesn't excuse her actions at all. What happened to that animosity Miyake gave me when she told me to do something about Shiori’s frightening advances? Now she wants to help her? Irritated by her dreadful and sympathetic sentence, I looked at her with a surly frown.

"If you want to help her yourself, then go right ahead." I groused.

"You're no fun!" She bleated.

I took her compliment with ease and brought myself up.

"Okumori-kun? Okumori-kun! Where are you going?"

I walked over to the living room and grabbed a random sweatshirt that lazily lay on the futon. “Groceries,”

I slid the clothing on and put my hands in my pockets before passing by Miyake and leaving out the door. If Miyake was going to stay in my house, my only option of soothing my head was by strolling outside with some music.

"Huh? Wait! I still have to tell you about the mall-!”

I shut the door to ignore what she had to say and began my serene walk.

Truthfully, I had no idea where I was going. If I got lost, so be it. I'd do anything to stay away from the house as of now. I didn’t want to stay another second because of Miyake’s meandering,

I watched the shifting clouds as I walked on the street and breathed in the air around me.

While I walked, I realized something vital. What was Miyake going to do? Even if she does manage to help Shiori, what would change? What was Miyake's end goal in this situation?

How do you even help a person who has problems that you can’t even challenge to grasp? Do you smile? Or do you share that depressing pessimism with them? I can’t remember.

It's been so long ever since I've had a true relationship, so I, too, am just as ignorant as Shiori when it comes to another functioning being. So, how does someone help a person like me? Why do they help people like me?

Isn't that just pity?

Or, that so-called "generosity?"

I don't know. I really don’t.

I approached a vending machine and fed some yen into it; ordering some cigarettes. I watched the box of cigarettes drop to the bottom and took it.

I pulled the small box out, inspecting it and looking at the name.

Seven stars.

I sat down on a nearby bench anxiously. I stared at the pack of cigarettes I had just bought, and just eyed the name in uneasiness.

"Ah, I don't care anymore," I muttered nonchalantly while I sighed.

I opened the pack and pulled one out. With my free hand, I grabbed a match that also came with the box, using the bottom of the box to light it up. I stared at the fire on my hand and twirled it around.

Then, I inserted the cigarette in my mouth and slowly pulled the fiery match onto the tip. After a few seconds, it lit up as I felt the smoke entering my mouth. I pulled the cigarette away from my mouth and blew out.

"Okuuumoooriii-kuuuun!"

I stopped breathing and looked over in bewilderment.