Jun 29, 2022
Your strong point is worldbuilding, I can confidently believe that this is a living, breathing world.
On the flipside, it would help your story to show the things that the characters say as opposed to saying them. The moment she cries because she hears her brothers' old messages feel stronger than hearing characters talk about their job and such. It might be better to just show them performing it until very late hours and being fatigued, the readers can put 2 +2 together.
Still there's potential here