Apr 16, 2024

Sakira: “I have other things to do, I can’t just talk to you in your head all the time

Also Sakira: uses every conceivable opportunity to make a quip or snide remark in Shiera’s head

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Apr 15, 2024

I am in love with Ekko

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Apr 15, 2024

Meeting an important military figure while an evil spirit that may or may not want to genocide you is watching through your eyes and getting information. What could possibly go wrong?

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Apr 14, 2024

“She thought I wanted to commit genocide.”
“Did you?”
“A little.”

I already know who’s gonna win this war. One side may be lead by a Beta, but the other is clearly lead by an alpha

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Apr 14, 2024

(I should clarify that I meant the “taking control of my life” part, not the “getting my chance to die back” part)

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Apr 14, 2024

This was a great opening chapter, especially for the villainess genre which has been saturated by mediocre stories for quite a while. It has us asking a lot of questions (why did she become disgraced, why was the empress trying to isolate her, what were the the circumstances around Elora’s death etc) without leaving us completely in the dark.

The only criticism I have is that, for someone who attempted suicide just before, the protag seems to find her resolve very quickly. Time travel notwithstanding, it feels a tad unrealistic that she would go from suicidally depressed to ready to take on the world in a single scene.

But outside of that, this is a really good start

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Apr 13, 2024

Cyan, magenta and yellow… seems like there’s a colour missing. I’m guessing this means that “black magic” is gonna be a major plot point down the line

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Apr 12, 2024

Having her give him the chocolates on Valentine’s Day is a nice touch, I love my Valentine’s Day confession trope.

MC’s internal conflict between the logic he’s been drilled with his whole life and the feelings he’s only just awakening to is done very well. Really feels like someone who’s emotions and logic are at war with each other.

Something I find interesting about the Romeo and Juliet thing is that you could still spin it to be an “emotions get in the way of logic” argument without condemning R&J. Instead of their love driving them to suicide, it could be said that the hate of their families killed them.

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Apr 11, 2024

Aaron seems like a dick. I’d like to kill him with hammers

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Apr 11, 2024

Didn't end with them shacking up and dying. 0/10

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Apr 10, 2024

"Meaningless, mediocre, rude"
How did you find out about my teacher's nicknames for me?

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Apr 10, 2024

I'm guessing that the smashing noise Ekko made last chapter was her replacing MCs pills with fakes or something. That being said, it's incredibly funny that the first things he thinks after getting off his pills are "this food tastes shit and I like Ekko's boobs"

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Apr 10, 2024

>I can go from “dangerous” to “bitch” if I really believe in myself

I am so incredibly sorry to let you know this, but your main character is literally me

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Apr 09, 2024

To:lolitroy

Cope and seethe.

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Apr 09, 2024

Boobs. Breasts, even.

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