Jul 16, 2023
To:lolitroy
I wouldn't ask you to delete your comment lmao, it's valid and very useful criticism
Anyway, I think the biggest flaw in my writing process was that I had no ending in mind. I was basically writing with no end goal to reach, which is why it kind of awkwardly ends here.
As for everything you said about the characters, I think especially Fuyuko and the dad suffer most from the lack of involvement. Chapter 13 doesn't hit as hard as it could've because I didn't make the reader care enough about Fuyuko in the first place. The same thing goes for chapter 14 with his dad.
Btw, this one is not my entry for the contest, my next story will be. But thank you for reading it all the way to the end.
Well, with all of that said, you've convinced me to rewrite the entire thing lmao