Aug 06, 2023
Man, dude's got priorities issues, thinking of honey cookies on his dead bed, lol.
Jokes aside, I think you may want to revisit polishing this chapter. There's quite a bit of repetitive sentence structure, particularly in the beginning. Not to mention, some of the flow in the chapter feels a bit disjointed. It kind of jumps from thought to thought - from memories to the feeling of being in a hospital and the doctor waving a contraption in front of him to some game-like beginning. There's not a lot of context as to why this is all happening. Like, how is this tech going to save him and why it presents him with three options at the start of some adventure. The logic behind it is a bit iffy.
