Jan 05, 2026
I’ll be honest about the chapter, and how I felt while reading it:“Knitting while riding a bicycle…” LOL that was a funny start, I liked the start, it had that je ne sais quoi, so you know I gotta give you for that. “…doctor’s doctor use…” Who would’ve thunk it?! Nice. “…reading delightful comments from the fans…” LOL now know where that idea came from (^^). “…Yes…Yes…Yes…Yes…” LOLOL and ‘YES’ that was some visceral anaphora(you used it very well), and ‘YES’ I liked the funny (o^^o), was it bad in any sort? A HUGE BOBBLING(You see what I did there LOL) ‘NO’ it was original, and I liked the vibe of how it is like ticking all of the thought boxes itself like ‘…Yes…Yes…” I liked it, never do it again(I’m kidding. I really loved it).
“…I don’t need a wheelchair, I’ll do it myself…” Now that’s what I’m talking about. Gramps Rod could never… And Rafflesia nurse? I’ve never seen such sharp imagery, good job, definitely nice and funny. “If Koharu weren’t so mature… “ LOLOL, I died laughing. “93 alt accounts…” LOL What the what! No way, that’s crazy, I mean crazy good plotted events. I get where that “The air is heavy like a blanket. The air smells like salt…” reference if from. Only if you used it as a reference? I remeber something similar from a comedic video which I thought about while reading it and you made it your own in your own original way, if you didn’t use it as a reference then it’s fine but I can share the video if you ever wanna know what I’m talking about, it’s honestly funny LOL. I give this chapter: (‘I had fun while reading it and that’s the only thing that matters to me’)/10. Epic storytelling just needs a tiny fix with characters’ inner thoughts(Just a suggestion: Use italics ‘cus it’s a standard ^^).
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