Mar 24, 2025
Finally got around to reading this first chapter. Great work so far!
I really liked the way the description of the woman lets you connect the dots to the description of the vtuber model earlier on, rather than just saying it. I don’t know much about writing, but I generally felt the prose was pretty nice. Also I liked the cup noodle bit.
Only criticisms I could come up with are really personal preference stuff. The bootleg “Devil Souls” name and censored “oh shi-“ aren’t my preference stylistically, I’d have liked if you used some other way of getting around it. But that’s just incredibly, extremely, vanishingly minuscule stuff that has no impact on the chapter as a whole so disregard my yapping.
Great stuff. I’m proud fr 🥲
