Aug 25, 2021
I agree with TokyoFox. Not a bad start, but that huge block of text is going to lead other potential readers to stop reading and move on to something else. Make sure to hit enter and start a new paragraph when a significant change takes place. For example, after your character takes their gear and the head outside to look for food. Them getting ready would be one paragraph, and them looking for the food would be another.