Goddess on the line

One night, when I was a kid, I made a wish. I looked up at a star shooting through the dark blue sky and said the following lines:

"I want to be transported to a fantasy world so I can become an adventurer," I said. "I want to have a sword, fight monsters and dragons, and have lots of girls fighting over me."

It was a dumb wish, you don't have to tell me that. I was a dumb kid. But I really believed someone or something was listening to me back then, and my prayers were soon going to be answered. But as reality would have it, obviously, it never happened.

...

Fast forward 12 years later, and I was living the dream. I had graduated college with straight A's, locked down a high-paying job at a corporation. I had even, at some point, gotten a girl interested in me without even trying. I was just discussing the previous night's game with a few friends from work when she approached me from behind.

"Umm, excuse me. Aaron, right? Can I have a minute?"

To my surprise, I turned around to find Asami, one of our coworkers from accounting. She was dressed in her usual blazer and skirt, and was clutching a few files to her chest. I was a bit confused as to what to say, as we had never really talked before. I was the kind of guy that usually enjoyed minding my own business when it came to girls. A.K.A., I was too shy to talk to them. But luckily, I didn't have to make the first move.

"I was just wondering if you would like to have coffee with me sometime?" she said, twirling a lock of her hair with her finger. It took my brain a few seconds to fully process her request. I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

"Or maybe grab lunch with me, in case you're not feeling like coffee," she added, smiling as my brain continued to process everything she was saying. Was she trying to ask me out on a date? But why?

We didn't know each other all that well, and it wasn't like I was super popular, or rich, or crazy good-looking like some of the other guys in the office... Ooof.

One of my friends suddenly kicked me in the back of the leg when he realized I was mentally spiraling, instead of answering the cute girl in front of me. Shit, he was right. I needed to reply quickly before things got awkward.

"Ahh, yes. I would love you. I... I mean, love to have lunch with you," I said, flashing a nervous smile and reaching to scratch the back of my head. Hopefully, she didn't hear the first part.

"Great," she replied. "I'll see you tomorrow then. I can't wait." She spun around and left, and I was instantly swarmed by my friends, who all rushed forward to congratulate me in a circle of back pats, handshakes, and atta-boy head rubs. They were messing up my hair, but to say I was excited despite that would have been an understatement.

...

Later that night, as I was laying on my bed preparing to head over to dreamland, I still couldn't believe it. A girl had taken interest in me, and not just any girl—Asami. Guys at the office talked about her all the time. She was pretty, social, and had this tendency to brighten up a room whenever she walked inside. That same Asami had basically invited me out to lunch and wanted to spend some time together. Because of this, tomorrow was going to be a good day. A start of something new. I could just feel it.

...

When morning rolled around, I gradually woke up to something vibrating in my hand.

Bzzz

Bzzz

Bzzz

By instinct, I lifted the phone to my ear intending to answer, as my thumb had already automatically clicked on the accept call button. But from the corner of my eye, I noticed something. The phone had a blue casing. Mine was a plain black. What the? Did I maybe change it without remembering?

"Hello? Is this Aaron?"

The phone wasn't very close to my ear, but I could still hear the voice on the other end of the line.

"Hello? Yoo-hoo! Is anyone there? Hello?"

It sounded like a girl's voice. Possibly my age. But the weirdest part wasn't the unknown speaker or the strange phone still in my hand. It was the caller ID: Goddess Akra. Who the hell was that?

"Hellooo? Yoo-hoo! I don't have all day, you know?"

The girl on the other end was starting to get impatient. I slowly lifted the phone to my ear in order to speak to her. Maybe she was the owner of the phone, calling to get it back. But how did it end up in my apartment to begin with?

"Hello? It's Aaron," I said. "I'm sorry, but does this phone belong to you? I just woke up and found it ringing..."

"Oh! Aaron? Cool!" the girl suddenly spoke up, cutting me off. "Yeah, sorry for waking you up this early. Trust me, I am not a morning person either. But I got a whole list of this to get through, and promotions don't earn themselves, so, here we are. Alright, enough chit-chat. First question. How are you today?"

"Who is this?" I asked plainly, sitting up from the bed and ignoring her question.

"Oh, didn't you see the caller ID, silly?" she asked, her voice carrying an instant sweetness that wasn't there before. "I am the goddess Akra, and I am calling to fulfill the wish you made as a kid 12 years ago."

"I'm sorry, what?"

She let out an exasperated sigh, suddenly sounding as if she was bored out of her mind. "Look. I understand all of this might be a bit too jarring for you right now, but the sooner you come over to our office in the afterlife, the sooner I can explain everything to you," she said.

Whoa whoa whoa whoa. Go back a second. Come over to where in the what? Who was this woman? And how did she know about the wish I made as a kid?

"Sooo, if you could like, step out of your apartment and come downstairs real quick, there's already a truck en route to your location to kill you. It should be there any minute now. Just come outside and try to cross the road. That should get the job done."

"Wait, what?!"

The so-called goddess, or whoever this person was, let out another exasperated sigh as she replied.

"A truck? You know, big, fast, metal, boom, death. That kind of truck. Are you just dumb, or do you really not know how all of this works?"

"Huh?!" I asked, completely lost. I wasn't understanding anything that was happening. Was I being pranked? Was I still sleeping and this was just some kind of weird dream? Who was this goddess and where the hell did this strange phone come from?

"Oh relax," the girl continued. "It'll be quick! Maybe even painless! Just think of it as your own personal Uber, but for dying. You're going to love where you're headed. Dragons, elves, sword fights, maybe even a harem if you play your cards right. Now tell me that doesn't sound enticing," the goddess said. "Exactly like your wish from when you were a kid, right?"

Nope.

I flung the phone as hard as I could outside my apartment window. Whatever this was—dream or no dream, prank or no prank—it was now out of sight, and therefore, out of mind.

I adjusted myself and lay back down in my covers. I still had like half an hour before I needed to get ready for work, so there was absolutely no rush for me that morning. All of what the so-called goddess had said—even if she was real—still wasn't selling it for me. My life was going great. Steady job, a decent salary package with health benefits, and a date waiting for me later in the afternoon. There was no way I was going to risk all of that, only to die and be reincarnated into a world I have no idea what it would be like.

I might end up being reincarnated as a housefly. Or worse. A trash can, or a spider, or something that can't have sexual intercourse with the ladies. There was no way I was risking all of that, for something that might end up being completely random. No thank you, I liked my current life.

I was just starting to forget about the weirdness, as I filled my head with thoughts of Asami and what our date later in the afternoon would be like. But then...

Bzzz.

Bzzz.

Bzzz.

The buzzing was back. Something in my left hand was vibrating. And when I looked down to see what I was holding, my eyes grew wide, and my breath suddenly caught in my throat.

Incoming call from Goddess Akra.

I couldn't believe it. I was too stunned to even move a muscle. And after allowing the phone to ring until it stopped on its own, a single text message soon followed.

From Goddess Akra:

"I swear, Aaron, you will not be the reason I don't get promoted this year. I have dispatched multiple Truck-kuns to your address. Game on, bitch. You wanted to be isekai'd, you are getting isekai'd. Prepare to be flattened."