Smile for the headlights. Smile for Truck-Kun

It was not a good morning.

After seeing the text message the so-called goddess had sent me—the one where she straight-up threatened my life—I immediately jumped out of bed in panic and threw the phone back out the window. What the hell was that? What the hell did I just read?

I was dressed in nothing but my underwear, pacing back and forth in my room, trying—and failing—to figure out what was going on. It was already clear whoever this woman was, she might truly be a goddess. Or some kind of magic-adjacent being. Because every time I threw the phone out, it reappeared a second later in my hand. It was horrifying to witness. But then, if so, what else was she telling the truth about?

I peered out my apartment floor window a minute later, shirtless, my eyes scanning the streets below. I wanted to confirm something. She had mentioned sending trucks to come run me over when I inevitably tried crossing the street on my way to work. And, my god, she wasn’t bluffing.

There were trucks of all shapes and sizes roaming the streets below, swarming like sharks. Holy mother of Buddha.

There were green ones, blue ones, gray ones—all of them patrolling around my apartment building, encircling me, waiting for me to step outside so they could finish the job. Turning me into roadside tomato paste pizza. Squish squish. I was not looking forward to that.

I went back into my room, terrified and nauseated at the thought. So a wish I made as a kid was coming back to haunt me. Perfect. My life was basically screwed.

But wait.

I picked up the phone from my bed and called the goddess. If I made the wish in the past, I could simply just undo it now, right? Right?

“Sooo, you’re ready to die yet?” Goddess Akra hummed as she casually answered, a reaction I was not expecting given how threatening her last message was.

“No!” I shouted. “I—I take it back. I renounce the wish. I don’t want it anymore.”

The goddess spent a full five seconds keeping quiet after my request. Meanwhile, I was sweating bullets from sheer nervousness. Why was she not talking? Was she actually considering it? Then I needed to provide more convincing arguments. AKA, I needed to get on my knees and beg.

“Please,” I began, dropping to the floor and pleading even though she couldn’t see me. “I made the wish back when I was a kid. I was dumb, I didn’t know what I was talking about. But now my life is so much better. I have a job, I have money, and I might have a girlfriend soon. So please. Take back the wish. Please. I don’t want to die and accidentally get reincarnated as a trash can or something. Please.”

“Huh, that’s funny,” the goddess replied. “You sounded super sure when you were seven though. I got your exact statement right here and everything. I want to be transported to a fantasy world so I can become an adventurer, I want to have a sword, fight monsters, and have lots of girls...”

“No no no no no,” I quickly cut her off before she finished reading the rest of the wish I made as a kid. “Please just take it back.”

“Ugh, fine, fine,” the goddess said. “You humans are always so dramatic. Whatever. Curse lifted, life spared, blah blah blah. You can go to work, date your almost-girlfriend, and do your little taxes or whatever. Happy?”

“Wait, really?” I asked, getting up in surprise. I quickly went to check outside my apartment window. There were no trucks circling the building below. They were gone. All of them. Every last one.

“Oh, thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you,” I said to the goddess on the phone. “Thank you so much for this second chance...”

The line suddenly went dead while I was still in the middle of speaking. I pulled the phone away from my ear and looked at it in confusion. Oh well. At least she got the gist that I was thankful for her divine mercy. I was absolutely not going to call her again, so I tossed the phone on my bed and went to shower.

...

Twenty minutes later, I was fully dressed and ready to head out to work. I sprayed some deodorant in the pits of my office shirt—also added a little on my necktie and trousers. I mean, I was going to be having lunch with Asami. It was paramount I smelled like I just strolled out of a garden of roses.

On my way out of the apartment, I glanced from the corner of my eye, and I couldn’t see the strange Blu phone I had tossed on my bed anymore. Maybe the goddess had summoned the device back or something. Regardless, I was just glad I didn’t have to deal with any of that any longer.

...

I stepped out of my apartment, locked the door, and greeted my neighbors as I headed downstairs. Everybody was joyful, smiling, and generally giving off a very strong positive vibe and energy. It made it easy for me to match their enthusiasm—smiling and waving back.

I walked out of the building and stepped onto the pavement. The few cars I saw moving up and down the road were normal-sized. There were no trucks, no trailers, no fairly large vehicles that might have made it seem like I was still in danger of being isekai’d. I was safe.

And just as the little green man on the traffic light appeared, I began crossing the road.

If there was an award for the dumbest person in the world, it would have gone to me in that moment. If there was an award for the most gullible human, I would have very much qualified. Because the moment I reached the center of the road, something in my pocket pinged and vibrated. I had received a text message. And when I pulled it out to see who it was from, my heart skipped a beat—and not in the good way.

It was the blue phone. Not my phone.

And it was a message from...

Shit.

It was a message from Goddess Akra.

“I lied, idiot. Nothing is stopping me from getting that promotion. Not even your pathetic whining. Now be a good corpse and smile for the headlights. I’ll see you in a few minutes.”

I heard it before I even looked up. The incoming onslaught of an out-of-control speeding vehicle rushing toward me. It was loud, big, and very much a truck.

And behind it were even several more trucks.

I was fucked.