Why the heck are novel titles so long?! Why is every single story an Isekai?! What happened to creativity?! I could give you my whole life story in a single sentence but I'm not going to. Find it out for yourself. Peace and love. No hard feelings.
We're inside the throne room of the Red Faction on the alien-human planet of Thear. Ariso has gone through a Magical Girl Transformation Sequence, Haruto is Haruto, and I'm a Shinigami with Kendo as my Zanpakuto.
"Haruto! We need to wrap this up quickly! There are glitches on this planet, and they're messing up the plot!" I said with vigour.
"Beep beep boop. Let me press the Plot button and the Convenience button at the same time!" Haruto spoke so happily it was scary.
We felt shaking throughout the entire ground.
"The entire planet's shaking! What did you do? Wait, why do you have my buttons from the ship! I don't even remember creating a Plot, Restriction, Armour or Convenience button!" Arien said with mixed anger and confusion!
Then a massive Oyusutaro came flying into the throne and destroyed the entire palace that we found ourselves in. The floor broke and we fell through right into the ground. The king of the Red Faction, the maid and Arien fell with us. There were a bunch of guards that fell with us, but we managed to survive and land on our feet.
The dust cleared, and the smoke settled. There was rubble everywhere, and we heard a sinister laugh. A stupid one at that. Another man was on top of the Oyusaturo which was bigger than the entire palace. It was as big as the Burj Khalifa. He was wearing a robe, but it was blue, yellow, black, white, green and purple.
"How are we going to defeat that? Is he the leader? How can we even see him from here?" I said.
"I don't think we should question it. We have magical powers now..." Kendo the Zanpakuto said with regret.
"Everyone! We need to perform the Friendship Beam! Only with our powers of friendship will we be able to overcome this menace." Ariso said.
I was in complete disbelief. Kendo can't show disbelief because he's a sword. Haruto was just staring at the massive caterpillar thingy.
"Hello there, friends! Ha Hi He Ho Hu!" The evil villain laughed. "I'm the one in charge of this upheaval of the Red Faction! Bow before me!"
"Hello up there! Can you hear us!" Ariso said.
"Yes, I can! What's up?" The villain responded casually. Why is he so casual about this?! We're the ones standing in his way with our plot armour and he just couldn't care. Why is he sympathising with children he doesn't even know?!
"If we defeat you, then will the planet return to normal?" She said.
"Are you the final boss who for some reason tried to come to their enemy with no plan instead of sending their minions? If we defeat you, the organisation you created will crumble, right?" I was shouting as loud as I could.
"Yes. That is me." He responded.
"Guys, we're doing the friendship beam. I've had enough of this planet." I said.
We all walked up to the caterpillar and lined up in a really cool way. It was so epic that I felt like an actual Protagonist.
"Ready, Protagonists? Kendo? Ariso? Haruto?"
"Yeah. I'm ready. I finished charging up my chakra. I'm Haruto. You better trust in it!"
"Yes! I'm Ariso, the Princess of Japan. I love my friends, and they love me back."
"Yeah. I'm Kendo, the strongest Zanpakuto in the world. If you wish to play, then pay the price."
"Yeso. I'm Emushi. The greatest Shinigami and Protagonist there is. If you jest with me, then you trifle with death."
"What do you three think you can do to me?" He screamed in such a high pitched voice I wished his vocal cords snapped. "Ha Hi He Ho Hu".
"There's actually four of us! I understand your frustration, Emushi. Skip past the Shikai and just go into Bankai." Kendo said with his booming echoey voice.
"Let me first test out Shikai! Here goes nothing. Shikai!"
Light's were sparkling from Kendo the Zanpakuto. It was so amazing! Like I was getting powerful. Then he turned into a butter knife.
"Why is your Shikai a butter knife!" I exclaimed in anger.
"I told you to skip past Shikai for a reason!" Kendo shouted back at me.
"There are so many things we can do with a butter knife, Emushi. Don't be disheartened." Ariso said with a happy smile.
"Yeah, no. Bankai!"
The kamishimo that I was wearing became completely black. Kendo became a massive broadsword that was about three times my size.
"Why has this guy been waiting for us this entire time? Aren't you going to do something?" Haruto said with concern.
"Yeah...well...I'm waiting for reinforcements. They're having trouble with their own Oyusaturo. Also, I can't see you. This thing is so big that I don't know what I'm crushing. It's really a problem."
I turn to look at Haruto, and he's pressing two buttons down. The 'Plot' and 'Restriction' buttons.
"Haruto...You're restricting the plot from moving! But that's a good thing." I said.
"Oh, this? I didn't know. I just felt like doing it." He said.
"Let's do this, everyone! With it, we'll wipe them out and all the Oyusaturos on this planet!" Ariso spoke confidently and all of us were ready.
"One Million Bodies! Super Body Beast Beam!"
Haruto's blue chakra created a veil around his entire body. He replicated himself a million times, and they all fired a blue beam from their mouths.
"Mystical Petal Storm — The Final Crown!"
A massive petal storm of cherry blossoms taller than the entire caterpillar thing swarmed around Ariso. She concentrated them and fired them into the blue beams and they blended...somehow.
"Energy Lust — Conquest Sin!"
Both I and Kendo screamed that out. I fired a light blue and yellow beam from Bankai Zanpakuto Kendo, and then it mixed to form a silver beam.
We all screamed at the top of our lungs, and this was the worst thing I've ever said.
"GO! FRIENDSHIP BEAM!"
All the beams mixed together, and it penetrated the massive caterpillar, which started to become sparkly dust. The man on the top started falling and becoming sparkly dust.
"No...I was so close to fulfilling my plan...for you...mother...father"
No. He doesn't have a sad backstory. He's not doing this for his parents. Do not show any sympathy to him.
The beam created a massive explosion that engulfed the entire planet. All the Oyusaturos began to disappear from all around the planet as they became sparkly twinkly dust and they disappeared.
"I guess that was the mother Oyusaturo if all the others are disappearing. Nice plot device so we don't have to fight the rest. They somehow have a life-link to the mother even though they're regular creatures and biology doesn't work like that." Zanpakuto Kendo said.
Suddenly, all of us reverted back to normal. We went back to wearing our normal school clothes. The king, Arien, and the maid were overjoyed by our success.
"Amazing...You defeated the imminent threat...Magical Girl Transformation Sequence." The king did nothing...and he has the audacity to only thank Ariso.
"I guess we can't run away from that gag now," Kendo said to me.
"That was fun, guys! I did so many cool things that ninjas can do!" Haruto said with a smile.
"It's good to see that you're safe, Arien's father. That's what friends do for each other." She said like some kind of Protagonist.
"Can we please go home? We don't need to celebrate. There's no one to celebrate with so it'd be meaningless. What other important characters have we met. None? Yep, that's the right answer." I said.
"If that's what you want, then let's go," Arien said.
"Goodbye! Take care." Ariso said with a cute smile.
"Yeah. Goodbye, plot." Kendo said.
"Wait. Where are the ninjas at? If this is the end of an arc, then aren't they suppose to cut onions or something?" I said.
"Onions are cool, but shallots are better," Haruto said.
In a split second, a beam shines on us and now we're inside of Arien's spaceship.
"Wow. I never got to see a tractor." The fool known as Haruto said.
In an instant, we feel nauseous as Arien activates the hyper warp drive thing and we look at the monitors. We're now back at school like nothing ever happened. The day and night cycle had stopped for us, and we were beamed down to the ground. We look up and see that the generic UFO disappears.
"All is well that ends alright, right?" I said to the others.
"Yeah. It sure does." Kendo said.
"Let's go back. There's still so much more the day can offer us!" Ariso said.
I guess she was right. We all walked into the school and hoped that the continuity of this novel would break at this point because I don't want to be reminded of what happened.
"Haruto never used the pocket sparkles. He never used some of the buttons. We didn't explore everything. I'm fine with that. Let's keep it that way. No more Magical Girl Transformation Sequence, please."
I guess this is the end of the first serious arc that this novel has taken...Somewhat serious. Maybe more serious stuff is to come. I don't know.
Peace and Love. No hard feelings.