Always the fucking ribs

I stood before two enemies. Both strong. Both terrifying. My katana was raised by my head, but direct combat was the last thing I wanted. I needed an opening. An escape. Any way to avoid this fight. And the only way I would find it was by letting them make the first move.

They stared silently. Not a muscle moved. Not a waver in their stance.

Despite their eccentricities, it was obvious: they had the discipline of professionals. Every wayward glance was a signal I couldn’t recognise. Every slow step forward was measured and careful. The second I showed an ounce of weakness in my stance, they would strike.

The counter had to be perfect.

Sweat dripped down my forehead. If I had a heartbeat, it’d have been racing.

Steady. Focus. Predict.

…

Duck left!

Z’s hammer swept over my head, missing me by millimetres. The air around it almost knocked me off my feet. I attempted to cut her right arm with my sword as a counter, but…

Step back!

I was damn near skewered by W’s rapier.

Jump!

I tucked my feet and just barely jumped over the next swing from Z.

Parry!

I raised my katana in time to redirect W’s cleaver, but my counter was imperfect, and I received a gash across my cheek for my troubles.

Back!

I stepped back just out of the range of Z’s hammer.

At least, that’s what I had thought.

I raised my arm to cover my temple, just in time for it to be crushed to pieces by blunt force. The sheer power sent me cartwheeling through the air, and I crashed through the window of a nearby shop. The stands and goods inside were scattered and destroyed as I hit every obstacle in my path, only coming to a stop at the very back wall.

“Jesus… what the fuck…”

I had been certain I was out of the hammer’s range. And the impact area felt far smaller than could possibly make sense for such an enormous weapon. It was like she had attacked me with something completely different.

As I slowly got to my knees, my head spinning and my arm shattered, I realised that that was exactly the case. Instead of the ridiculous thing she usually used, she was now holding a more conventional war hammer. Longer handle, smaller head, spiked back.

Though the pink head still made it look completely absurd.

“Oh, what a pain. I was really hoping you’d keel over after that one, honeybunch.” Z stood at the shattered window, that same horrific grin spread across her face. “No one’s ever seen my power and lived before. We just can’t be having that, can we, poppet?”

“Fuck… you…”

“What are you so upset about, darling? You’ve survived longer than anyone else we’ve hunted before. You’re gonna die a hero. Ain’t that grand?”

I spat out the blood pooling in my mouth and wiped my face with my sleeve. Two-on-one, both opponents more skilled than me, with the power to just create any weapon they need in the moment? There was no way I was getting out of this alive.

“Shit… Ryou, can you-”

“Afraid not, dear girl. Seems I’ve sprung a trap of my own.” Gunfire sounded through the earpiece.

“What? You too?”

“The man I kidnapped was not the CEO, but a body double. One with a tracking beacon. An entire PMC company is chasing me through Shibuya.”

“Dammit all… Fuji?”

“Little busy here, love!” Forget gunfire, it sounded like she was in the middle of a damned artillery barrage.

“The hell is happening to you?!”

“Soon as I cracked the door, the bastards followed me down the tunnel! I’m fighting for my fucking life down here– argh! Bastar-!”

“Fuji? Fuji!”

No further reply came from Fujiko. Not from Ryou either.

It finally sank in. We had been completely, unquestionably outplayed.

“Finally realised it, have you lovey?” said Z, as W silently came to her side. “Game was rigged from the start, girlypop. You poked the bear and thought your little stick would be enough to fight it off. You really never stood a chance.”

“Z. I want a sample of her.” W was tapping Z’s shoulder with her cleaver, like a child trying to get a parent’s attention. “Can I try the limbs first?”

“Hmm… sorry, W, but I think this one’s earned a quick death. You can butcher her girlfriends, though.”

“Not fair. I wanted her first.”

“Look, you big foodie, I’ll let you do the honours of taking her head, fair?”

“Not what I wanted…” W grumbled and dropped her shoulders, before slowly trudging towards me. Cleaver in one hand. Skewer in the other.

Was this really it? This was how I would die? On my knees, unable to fight back? That was it?

Was I really that pathetic?

“No…”

“What was that, hon?”

“No…” I slowly but steadily got to my feet. “I’m not going down without a fight. You want my head?” I raised my sword with my unshattered arm. “Come and take it.”

W stopped her advance. For a moment, her expressionless face almost curled into a smile as she licked her lips.

“Can I try her now?”

“Haaaah… you could have made this so much easier for yourself, babes.” Z twirled the war hammer in her hand, and I watched as the end morphed into a chain and spiked ball. “But I won’t say no to a bit of fun. Bit of a warmup before I bash in that electric girl’s skull, yeah?”

“Stop the barking and bring the bite, bitch.”

Both of my adversaries took to a run.

Time slowed.

I couldn’t overclock completely. It’d let me kill one, but it’d exhaust me enough to get slaughtered by the other. I had to settle for just slightly slowing time to make their actions reactable.

Flail coming high.

I ducked the incoming attack from Z and sliced a shallow cut up her arm as I passed her. I wanted better, but I was fighting with my non-dominant hand.

Cleaver diagonally down.

I parried the cut and almost took W’s arm off. She reacted fast enough to prevent dismemberment, but the cut was deep.

War hammer at mid section.

I jumped the blow and fell with a kick at Z’s chest. It had all the force in my legs behind it, but she didn’t move an inch. I stabbed at her face, but a casual dip of the head meant I only made a shallow cut on her cheek.

Skewer at throat.

I moved my head just enough for the stab to pass me by.

Cleaver at head

I stepped back and ducked. The slice took part of my hood with it.

Mace at chest

Z cycled in front of W and I was forced to clumsily block the strike.

Butchers knife at chest

W cycled back in to force me all the way back to the wall.

Sledgehammer at head

I ducked. The wall above my head splintered. Flakes of the wall blasted in every direction.

Skewer at throat

I shifted my head left. The skewer nicked my neck and drew blood, embedding itself into the wall next to me.

Carving knife at throat

I parried with my sword. The carving knife sank into the wall too, my neck trapped between two blades.

Sledgehammer at chest.

I kicked W away and hit the floor just in time to dodge Z’s hammer.

Kick in the ribs.

I was a sitting duck. No dodging. No rolling. Z’s kick connected hard, and I was sent flying back through the window I came in from. I felt my ribs crunch from the force.

I slammed into the pavement outside and rolled into the middle of the road. My cloak was torn to shreds. My skin was grazed to hell. My bones were shattered. My muscles ached. My head was spinning.

I couldn’t even stand. Why is it always the fucking ribs?

“Oooh, that was a lot of fun. But I’m afraid we’re at the end of the line, honeybun.” Z casually strolled towards me and propped up my chin with her mace. “Say goodnight, little Roni-”

My execution was cut short by the sound of something whistling through the air in front of me. Something that pierced clean through Z’s foot.

“Owowowowowow…” Z hopped up and down on one foot, holding the other in her hand. “son of a… hey, I like a bit of pain as much as the next girl, but no one ever tell you it’s rude to interru-”

Me, Z and W all turned our heads to the source of the arrow. On the roof of a nearby building, standing in complete silence, was a figure covered in a blood red cloak.

“Woahoahoah!” Z ran to the base of the building and jumped up to the roof in a single casual bound. “Nevermind what I said, you can feel free to interrupt me any time you’d like, beautiful.” She leaned with her elbow on the roof railing. She almost looked like an amateur pickup artist. “What’s a pretty place like you doin’ in a girl like this. Wait, I mean, fuck, I, uh, I mess up my line, hehe…” Z rubbed the back of her head sheepishly.

What. The fuck. Is happening.

“Oh, I just happened to be in the area when I was enraptured by your form, my love,” said the red-cloaked figure.

…wait a fucking second.

I knew that voice. God fucking dammit. I definitely knew that voice.

“Hey!” W jumped and joined the two on the roof. For someone usually completely devoid of expression, she was suddenly very huffy. “Z is my toy. Not yours.”

“Oh? Well it seems she wants to play with me, dearie. Seems you’ve been replaced.”

“No. She’s mine. Stop playing with her.”

W had actually taken to stomping her feet like a child. I was so bewildered I actually wondered if the hammer had knocked me out and I was just hallucinating before I died.

But something about the dagger in the cloaked girl’s hand looked a little too real to be a hallucination.

“Toki!”

A familiar voice came from behind me. I turned my head, only to be diving-hugged by Fujiko. She was bleeding from at least three separate places, and her cloak was singed to high hell

“Ow, Fuji, fuck, that hurt…”

“Sorry, just… glad you’re alive.”

“You would hardly believe how much of a worrywart this one is,” said Ryou, appearing out of thin air at our side. She was covered in patches of blood. “I, of course, believed in your abilities.”

“Then your belief was misplaced, ‘cos I got curb-stomped.”

“Oh? Then how is it you’re still breathing?”

I didn’t really have the strength left to point, so I nodded my head towards the roof where W and the cloaked girl were bickering. W seemed to notice the three of us down on the ground, because she grabbed Z and turned away in a hurry.

“This is a bad place. We’re going now.”

“Awww, but W, I was just chattin’ up that bombshell beauty back there!” Z’s whines faded over the horizon and W dragged her away with all the speed she had left.

“The fuck is that?” Asked Fuji, tilting her head at the cloaked girl.

Said girl must have heard her, because she turned to look at the three of us, and I just about made out a smirk under her hood. She dropped down from the roof and slowly walked over to us.

“Halt. Step no further until you’ve identified yourself,” barked Ryou, pointing her sword at the girl.