Why does every woman in my life try to kill me?

“The hell are you doing here?” I asked the cloaked girl, as Fujiko helped me to my feet.

“Oh my, dearie, did I not say that you and I would meet again?” she replied. Her voice was far too soft and affectionate for someone who had almost slit a person’s throat moments before.

“Yeah, but I was hoping that nice cut in your arm would bleed out before we had the chance.”

“Ahhh, but I’m afraid all that achieved was to impassion me further. The scar left behind is a mark of your undying love, after all.”

“Christ, I thought Z was s’posed to be the creepy masochist,” said Fujiko. “Toki, you know this weirdo?”

“She’s… the one who tried to kill me during the Kurogaisha raid,” I sighed, putting my hand to my forehead. “Which brings me to my question: why the hell’d you save me? I thought you wanted me dead.”

“Ah, of course. I should introduce myself formally, should I not?”

“That’s definitely not what I asked.”

“My name is Nabiki, I am beyond pleased to make your acquaintance. My family name is Aino, though you needn’t memorise it. I’m sure I’ll be taking yours soon.”

“I thought your power was to delude others, not yourself.” Fantastic. Just what I needed. Another crazy bitch. Why did every woman in my life try to kill me? “Besides, you didn’t answer the question. Why’d you save me?”

“Is it not obvious, my love?” Aino twirled like she was wearing a skirt, not a cloak. It looked stupid. “I would not adopt this attire for any other reason. Of course, I have come to offer my services as a ronin.”

“Nope.”

“We decline.”

“Not a chance in hell.”

“What?!” Aino actually seemed to lose her otherwise unwavering composure for a second. “Why ever not?”

“In that cloak? You’d stick out like a sore thumb,” I replied.

“It’s as if you’ve never even heard the word stealth before. Utterly ridiculous,” spat Ryou.

“I’m sorry but are you guys really focusing on her outfit and not the fact that she tried to kill Toki?!” Said Fujiko incredulously.

“She’s tried to kill me. You’ve tried to kill me. Ryou tried to kill me. At this point? I’m used to it. Hell, if Z appeared at the door and asked to tag along I’d welcome her with open arms so long as she looked the part.” I turned my attention from Fujiko to Aino, who was muttering ‘I

‘I’ll change the cloak, I swear’ and almost looked on the verge of tears. “By the way, why would a corporate enforcer wanna lower herself to our level anyway?”

“Hmm? Ah, a fair question I suppose, though the answer should be fairly obvious.” She dramatically placed her hands over her heart and looked down, like a bloody damsel in distress. “There’s just no romance in being a corporate stooge. Working for nothing more than a paycheque, having no cause to dedicate yourself to. But you three. A band of determined rebels, outnumbered and outgunned but fighting for what they believe is right. Oh, how beautiful! Tell me, what heroic deed is next on the list for the valiant Ronin?”

“Steal.”

“Kill.”

“Blow shit up.”

“What?!” She seemed even more put out than when we rejected her. Bit of a weirdo, this one.

“Listen, little red, this ain’t a kid’s fairy tale or some shit,” said Fujiko, crossing her arms. “We ain’t out here savin’ damsels in distress and slayin’ dragons or whatever. We’re fightin’ the rich and powerful. That means sheddin’ a whole tonne a’ blood, stealin’ a whole tonne a’ stuff, and blowin’ up a whole tonne a’ shit. You wanna get involved in this? Don’t go expectin’ sunshine ‘n’ rainbows. We’re fightin’ a damn war here.”

Aino seemed almost rendered speechless. Honestly, I was too. Since when the hell is Fuji a voice of reason? I’d believe in Ryou being a pacifist or Graviton being a mute before that.

“I-I see…” She looked genuinely dejected. I almost envied her. Must be nice to not think the world is just a shit pile you have to shovel with your bare hands. “Of course, I never meant to unfairly trivialise your quest. I simply have great respect for your cause.”

“Trivialise, glamorise, whatever it is, it ain’t as fun as you seem to think,” I said. “You should know better than anyone, there’s people trying to kill us every time we act. Near death experiences are part and parcel of the job, and so is doing a little dirty work. You want a little romantic adventure? Find someone else.”

The three of us turned to walk away. ‘Heroic deeds.’ Bloody fool. Who did she think we were?

“...please, wait,” called Aino from behind us. We stopped, but didn’t turn around. “...though my approach may have come across as unorthodox, I truly meant what I said. You fight for a cause you truly believe in, and it is one I have come to support. This world is rotten and cruel. The wealthy and powerful use the people as pawns in their games, caring not for who lives and dies. Such a world cannot continue to exist as is. Truly, I do wish to see change, and I believe the three of you are the harbingers of said change. So, please, allow me to join you?”

Instead of her usual exaggerated sultry tone, Aino’s voice was pleading. Almost desperate. From someone who had seemed so sure and superior at every turn, it was a legitimate shock.

Perhaps I’m too easy to manipulate, but it was enough to convince me.

“Haaah…” I sighed heavily and turned around. “You actually mean all that guff?”

“With no doubt in my mind.”

“...fine. You can tag along.” As much as I hated to admit it, we needed all the help we could get. And her power? “Helpful” doesn’t begin to describe it.

“Ah! My beloved Tokiko. I knew your feelings for me would shine through!” She stepped up close to me and put her hand under my chin, lifting my head to look into her eyes.

“Toki, I just got back from my mission, is that the mind controller?! Your artificial heart is under huge stress, what’s she doing to you?!” said Time, who ironically had horrible timing.

“Ah- that power is really annoying…”

“Hmm? I’m not using my power, my love.” Aino’s smirk almost made me shiver.

As did the crackling of electricity from behind me.

Lord above. What trouble had I gotten myself into?