Chapter 43:

Lie, Said the Moon. Survive, Said the Moon


It was methodic if she had to say so herself, but her brain was empty. It buzzed again as she slammed her weapon down, bit by bit, to make sure that in the end, she would get his head away from his body, to make sure that it’s dead. Enang chuckled. Surprisingly, the guy didn’t offer much of a fight.

She didn’t want to do it anymore.

She retreated and leaned onto the table. She looked at her bloodied hands and wiped them on the side of her pants. Sticky. Wet. Warm. It’s ripe. There was a thought that she wanted to lick it, taste it, maybe for a moment, but she held herself back. She’s not crazy. She’s not even a vampire, and that’s gross.

She just didn’t know what to do anymore.

She could hear the fighting outside. There were shadows cast on the surface of this guy’s tent. Right. The fight was too easy, and it wasn’t honorable, either.

There came the fear. Fine. She followed the call of that twisting darkness that tightened her chest. She sighed, groaned, and turned back to that dead body, taking a few more swings without making too many sounds so she could completely rip his head off.

In the end, what she got was that same feeling of edge, emptiness, with a sprinkled sense of victory. It didn’t make it any better. Now she just had another head of a dead leader in her arms. Yay. She sighed and found herself thinking. Fuck. She scratched the back of her head and turned to that body again to rip it limb from limb.

To make sure it’s dead.

A single swing got a bit of flesh off its thigh. Why did they need to attack? Enang gritted her teeth, took another deep breath, ignored the pain burning her shoulders, and took another swing, chipping off that monster’s flesh once more.

Why did they have to do that?

Enang furrowed her brows, swung her dull ax, and had it bounce back from his thick skin, almost hitting her. She clicked her tongue. They could’ve talked to them. They could’ve welcomed them instead. It’s not like they’re savages. Enang stopped for a moment. She chuckled and adjusted her aim to cut through Joswa’s bone.

Why was she the only one that could see it? Why did she have to bear everything alone? Those were good people. She was helped by those good people, not knowing how much she had fucked them.

Their loved ones were dead.

Enteng lost his wife and kids. Uncle lost his mom. The others probably lost someone, too. Ever since Mayari appeared to her in that bathroom, the only thing that she could see towards those people were the ones they lost. And she was helped by this fiasco.

Enang sighed. Her lips trembled. She raised her dull ax over her head, her breath fluttering as she bit back a cry. She firmed her grasp, made sure that she would be able to aim right with her blurring vision, and cut the crocodile’s right leg.

Now, she just needed to ignore the touch of cold imaginary hands slowly violating her body and make sure that this guy was dead. She couldn’t play it safe. But her arms were hanging at the side of her body, refusing to be lifted.

Why was she alone?

Mayari said that it was because she didn’t do anything. But she’s doing things her way. Well, she was wrong too. Enang curved her dried and bloodied lips to smile. Red. It tasted red. If it was hers or another, it didn’t matter.

She’s the only one that could do this.

Joey would be too scared to follow her here. Uncle would rush into the fight, get speared in the neck, and die. Enteng would be too old to keep up with so many opponents. Jonathan would get knocked out. Lucy would slip, bash her head against a rock and die before she could do anything useful. That’s right. Enang chuckled as she ripped off his left leg. Now to the arms.

That’s right. She’s the only one in their group that would be able to do this. Alone. That’s right. But she couldn’t rest here just yet. Enang heaved as she cut off his right arm. It was easier than the legs, less meat, probably, except for that Rayan guy. She did the same to Joswa’s left arm, too, and now all she had was a big torso chilling at the top of a red puddle of flesh and bones. Right. She couldn’t let it end here. There’s another group that she’d be fighting on the other side of the world.

It’s only fair for her to do so. She didn’t lose anything major. In fact, she was helped by it. That’s why it was fair for her to deal with them in her way. They didn’t have to know.

She kicked the crocodile’s head to the side. She didn’t have time to bury them. She rested a bit by sitting at the table. She found it fancy, for a moment. She grabbed the pen, smudged the documents with blood, and doodled a small cactus, made him like a cute little sheriff. She chuckled. Right. She’s not alone.

She dragged herself outside. Four monsters were waiting for her. They’re out of the trance. Oh, how polite. They waited for her to finish and stood in front of the tent like they’re a group of four tired heroes about to square off against their greatest evil. Enang flashed them a tired smile along with her cold, dead eyes.

She gripped her ax.

Why did they have to attack?

Why was she the only one who needed this?

Enang screamed, raised her ax, and ran forward. She got lasered and riddled with holes. But of course, that was not her. She’s not that dumb. Enang made herself disappear upon making a clone and stepped to the side, keeping her calm.

Those four monsters walked towards her. With a thicker laser, they blasted and erased her head. They’re clumped together. No matter. She could do something about this. She reappeared behind the laser guy and broke his neck with a single swing of her dull ax.

The shaft of that ax broke and sent the head flying away. It’s fine. She could just pick up another weapon.

Three more.

She made herself disappear. She picked up a stone sword and hit the other monster in the neck. The blade was too thick. It bounced. Kinabuhi. Was that it? Damn.

She made herself disappear once again and came back with a spear that she drove into its eye. The monster groaned and moved backward. He limped. But his life and taste for revenge remained. He grabbed Enang’s right leg and crushed it upon drawing his last breath.

Enang screamed as she was dragged down. The guy was already dead, and the remaining two were gunning towards her.

One smashed her face with his fist. He did it again. Again and again, each strike drew a bit of blood from her broken nose, forming a red string. She got kicked in the stomach to make it worse. Something else broke.

But she couldn’t stop yet. Ignoring the pain of her damaged leg, she yanked herself free, vanished, touched one monster to make it appear like her, and grabbed a weapon as they began killing each other.


She couldn’t stop yet. Moving past the blur, she grits her teeth, screamed, and tackled the big monster down, and placed herself on top of him.

She grabbed the shaft of her spear with both hands and drove it into the guy’s neck. The monster gurgled. She stabbed him, again and again, roaring until her throat hurts. Until her voice broke. Until her weapon broke.

It started to rain.

She was out of breath. She couldn’t see very well, and the outpour made it worse. What a joke. What bad luck. Her mind buzzed, emptied. She chuckled, but her tears fell as she pulled herself to the ground, unable to summon her strength to move, but she had to keep moving forward.

To cry.

To rip and tear through those bastards until everything was done.

Why did she have to bear this?

Why did she have to do everything alone? Why did she have to sacrifice so much to just belong? Those people cared for her, but she didn’t do anything. She even had the guts to try to live with them, to hope for a better life. She needed to escape from that home that abused her, the help that she needed asked her to do anything and wait for everyone to get slaughtered. In the end, no one should know.


Her voice broke.

She screamed at the distant moon as her cries faded into the heavy rain.

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