Chapter 44:

Can I Pretend that the Rain were Shooting Stars?


God. How much did she still need to walk? It was easy. Even with all the rain, all she had to do was follow the walls back to her home. Home. What a funny name. Did it still even exist?

Would she belong there?

Now, she’s hurt. They would ask about what happened to her. Even if they were alive, they were probably hiding somewhere. The dawn was coming. The enemy would’ve retreated if they attacked. Something would be left. Even a dead body would do. Enang chuckled. Apologizing to a dead body wasn’t that hard. The best she did was to kick one down and see if it was still alive. Back then, in that house, she smiled and stuck her tongue out. She’s finally free from that jail of strong arms and winding fingers. She shivered, but this was the cost of it.

Mayari was smiling. Somehow, she could feel it. She could no longer ignore the sound of the rain. It had already become a part of her. It was weird if she didn't hear it for a second. But what would she say to the survivors? She had been walking for a while now. If they escaped, something that they could succeed with at worst, someone would have come around and pointed fingers at her, asking her about where she went.

But she’s not even that special.

This was dumb as shit.

Enang blew a steamy breath as she leaned against the concrete wall stretching as far as this street. It didn’t hurt. She’s not hurt at all. Her lips might be dry, her eyes might be bloodshot and sunken, she might be tired, but she’s fine. Her arms didn’t feel like they would fall off. No, she wasn’t hopping like a dirty frog that got stepped on. She’s too cute for a frog.

But were they even alive at this point?

They’re fine.

She could worry about Joey flaking in the face of danger. Enteng would come around and help them escape. Uncle was too hurt, so he probably sat the fight out. Jonathan would’ve gotten knocked out and did nothing remarkable. Lucy would’ve been dead. Yeah. Enang grinned. She could have that. Oh man, the looks on their faces as soon as they saw her appear out of nowhere.

She fell to the floor, her arm stretching forward, her eyes blurred by the rain that peppered her back. Cold. Enang chuckled.

Right. What would she say when they asked her about what happened? Did she do it for everyone? No. Did she do it out of guilt? No. Did she do it because somehow she knew that two groups would attack them and that she, as one of their strongest fighters, would be left to deal with the other? No. They would not believe her. She wouldn’t go as far as to admit that she knew what was going to happen, somehow. Enang forced out a laugh. She couldn’t tell them that, either.

Enang wanted to drag her body forward. She couldn’t. She blinked and drew a shallow breath and let herself flutter as everything got darker. Was it night? No. There was a pair of feet in front of her. She couldn’t raise her head to see, but this dumb fuck was carrying a bucket in the rain.

“What happened to you?”

Ah, it was Joey. He was wheezing, cold, probably, too. His tone seemed worried. A few of them probably survived. Enang clicked her tongue. This would mean that he probably flaked out. She was too late, then.

“Just so you know, it wasn’t raining earlier—”

“Oh, shut up. Nothing happened.” Enang groaned. “Fine, I’ll ignore the fact that out of everything else that you could carry, you brought a damn bucket in a place where someone could jump on you and snap the spine you never had.”

“Your right leg is broken.” His voice was calm, a bit tired, but there was a certain warmth in it. And it pissed Enang off.

“So? Just tell me what happened. Did you have to abandon the base? What happened to everyone?”

“We’re safe.”

Enang’s mind emptied. Heavy. Was it this rain, or was someone actually punching her back a thousand times? She felt like she was being kicked again. Her heart caved even lower, but somehow, she found herself smiling. The buzzes in her ears didn’t matter.

“Stop fucking with me, you bitchass dicksucker,” Enang shouted before biting back a groan, grimacing at the pain that shot her sides.

Joey scoffed. “I have powers now, lol.”

“Lol. Stop fucking with me…” Enang rested her forehead on the wet ground and breathed. “You’re lying. Everyone is dead. Everyone died. I died, and you’re a demon sent here to torment me. Fuck you. Fuck everyone. Why am I—”

Joey groaned. He seemed like he was about to kick her. Enang closed her eyes and shrank, bracing herself for the pain, but it was nothing more than a bucket of water. Then there was silence. The rain didn’t matter. He stepped to her side. He squatted down and slapped the back of her head. Enang tasted dirt for a moment.

“We fought a monster. I defeated him with ease after meeting a hot-ass goddess. I punched Uncle in the face and knocked him out with a single blow. I gave a very encouraging speech that urged everyone to fight.” Joey slapped her head again, chuckling at how crispy that slap sounded. “I ain’t going to let you bitch yourself out of this one.”

“I don’t care—”

“I did it for you.” Joey sighed. “Ah, fuck it.” He clicked his tongue. “Everyone did it to protect what we all have and it sucks to have that feeling get shit on by an entitled bitch. You still have a home to go back to. Also, you’re already healed, so pick yourself up and let’s go home.”

Enang felt no pain. It looked like the rain had stopped. She could breathe now, too, and the blurs were gone. Ah. The rain didn’t go away, but she could see better now, and it didn’t hurt to smile. But, everything was heavy. She groaned. She wanted to drag her body upwards, or even crawl towards Joey, but she couldn’t do that, either.

“Really… You’re going to do this to me after all that?” Joey shouted.

“I literally can’t stand and move…” Enang lifted her arms. She was fine, but her lack of strength made her even worse than a snail bathing in salt. “I promise, I’m not shitting you. I tried my best.”

“Fuck… Fine… but close your eyes.”


“Just fucking do it.”

“You’re not taking your clothes off, are you?”

“Damn. So that’s how lowly you think of me, huh—”

Enang sighed and rested her head on the ground. “Fine… I’ll do it.”

Enang closed her eyes. She deserved this for leaving them. They deserved this for surviving. She gritted her teeth. If Joey was going to kick her first before helping her, among other things, then he should just get over it. It’s fine.

He touched her shoulder. She’d take it. Maybe she’d feel better about all of this, too, but no. Joey picked her up and carried her on his back.

“Goddamn, you’re so fucking heavy.”


“Shut up, and rest. God… It’s coming, isn’t it…? You’re going to bitch again, ain’t you…? Just so you know, I’m doing this because I wanted to, not because I want you to feel indebted to me—”

“Shut the fuck up… You’re talking too loud.” Enang’s voice trailed. “You forgot the bucket.”

“Wha—” He struggled to find his words. “Does that even matter right now?”

“Woah, Joey, you son of a bitch… So, you’re just gonna leave the bucket here after you’ve used it? I don’t know, don’t you want to pick that up, for, I don’t know, for a job well done? And maybe keep it?”

“If it gets you to stop projecting at a bucket, then sure.”

Enang said nothing.

Joey went back, picked up the bucket, and went on their way. “But have you seen my face?”

“No… I kept my promise. It’s still closed right now.”




Enang sighed. “Fine, just don’t look my way, too, or I’ll poke your eyes out.”

Joey clicked his tongue. “God, turn down the edge for a moment. I’ll drop you.”

“You won’t…”

Joey fell silent for a good minute. “You might be right. Fine, I won’t look, either. Just sleep, and by the time you wake up… I’ll protect you. I’ll make sure we’ll be home before you wake up.”

“Home, huh…”

Warm. His heart was racing, too. All of this made her want to consider breaking his neck, but she’d let this happen. This was fine. Enang drew a long breath and rested her chin on his shoulder. She smiled. He gets to live. But she really didn’t want him to see her face right now. 

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