My Goals

Somehow, seeing him smiling so innocently pained me.
This pure child knew nothing of the outside world. 
And just how cruel society can be... 
But as much as it pained me, it made me envious.

If only I still had those small thoughts of what I would do today, what I can play with tomorrow... Just living my life peacefully, with no worries in the world.

But as if that can ever happen, it's too late to change back.

I know I said that I wanted him to do whatever he wants to. 
I get that feeling of not having a choice open for you.
I know it all too well...
However, if he ends up not becoming king... then, nothing would change.
Everything would just be the same.
Just living a path planned out for me, with responsibilities that I don't want to carry.

That's why there's no other option. As much as I want him to be free, I want myself to be as well. It might sound selfish, I know. 
But what can you do? That's just the way I think now.

However I won't force it on him. I don't want to do the same thing that they did to me. I'll only give him hints, advice, suggestions. At least that way I know that I did try to do something before I give up. At least that way... I can have less regrets.
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Edward came quite early in the morning, around 10 or 9 I think. 
Yes, 10 or 9 is early. I am a natural born night owl ok?

Ever since our slightly humorous conversation we have been chatting up until late noon. It was enjoyable and no longer awkward. I felt like the tension between us is now nonexistent. After checking the time, it was nearly 4PM. 

Feeling that we have stayed in the same place for too long, I suggested for us to go outside and check out the knight's training stadium. Since little kids like action I figured that it would be a good place for entertainment, not only that, he can even see how cool it would be to command such cool knights if he were to become king! A win-win situation don't cha think?

"Hey Edward, wanna go to knight's stadium?"
"Stadium? What is that?"
"It's what we call the training base for the knights."
"Oh yes! I would love to go!"
"Great! Then follow me, We shall make our way~!"
"Yes, of course!"

We made our way to the stadium, while smiling happily in the broad daylight. "Hey Edward, what do you think knights are like?" 
"I can't say... I've never seen them up close. But I think they're cool? At least that's what everyone around me says..." He paused for a moment and continued "Hmm... like they're heroes and protectors of the country, or something?"
"Haha, I see. Well, it doesn't matter what others think... because now you can see them up close and see for yourself!" I said excitedly and pushed open the door to the training stadium.

"Welcome to the stadium!" I exclaimed, and Edward's eyes beamed with excitement. "Wow~~~" The room had a glass ceiling that allowed the sunlight to shine and glimmer through. It even included special facilities such as small resting stations and practice arenas to train in. "It's amazing." He said. 
"Isn't it? You know if you become king, you can issue orders to all the cool knights training in here! In fact you can even come and hang in here whenever you want!" 
"Oh- I see. Well, as of now I don't think I'm fit with ruling a country though"
Geh, as expected, there's no interest huh "I-I see... But you never know right? Since you're still young, there's still much more time." 
"Yes, exactly." He nodded.

Sorry but, I can't give up that easily.

Otherwise my own goals would also seem too shallow. Not in depth, as if I am not serious about this. But I really am serious, I'm tired of having responsibilities that aren't even my own.

And I know when to back out, but now is not the time.
 
 So I will definitely have, my peaceful and lazy life.
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Hello! Author here again! This chapter ended up being way longer than expected and in the end I decided to cut it down because I was afraid that it might be too long for reading length. So I apologise if this chapter seemed slightly shorter than others ><
I also know that this chapter shows our heroine being contradictory but hey, everyone human is like that right? And this is what makes her interesting! And more realistic (hopefully) 
Also I'm sorry for updating 1 day late ;-;
Once again thanks for reading and I hoped you enjoyed this update! :D