Bailey Hollow: Painful Past Part 5

 I do not know how long I was unconscious…

What was the last thing I remembered? It was Bailey… Just outside, she was repeatedly punching me in the face. And while doing so, she was angrily telling me a lot of things… Desperate… Scared… Annoyed… Those were all of the feelings I sensed, and I let her punch me after catching her first attempt because of it. She thinks that I do not see her as competition, and that leads to her thinking that I am insulting her… But it’s just not true.

I think the former is correct — I indeed do not see her as a threat… It sounds mean considering that she is distressed about it, but she cannot easily change the way I feel — she was not doing enough. But, I had no intention of insulting her. It is just…

I slowly opened my eyes. The first thing I saw was a white-tiled ceiling. So, it is highly likely that I am still in the school… I gently tilted my head to the side. I could see curtain rails that extended to my other side. So I am in the infirmary…

“H-Hey Ren… You’re finally awake…”

On the other side of me came a familiar girl’s voice. She sounded livid… But more so, she sounded really concerned and panicked.

“Yo… You probably don’t want to see me, right? That’s fine. But, um… Um… S-Sorry…”

When I turned to look at Bailey, she apologized and was bowing.

“L-Look Ren… I-I know what I did was bad… And I’m not looking for forgiveness — just for an opportunity to atone… So… Sorry.”

For beating me, huh? It did not really hurt. Yeah, every one of her punches was at full force, but none of them hurt.

“Oh… No, it is fine.”

“What!?”

Bailey sighed in disbelief.

“C’mon Ren, I just beat the crap out of you and you’re forgiving me so easily? You’re a weird one…”

Bailey looked down, distressed. She looked really remorseful — she’s really guilty about the thing she did…

She sighed.

“Look, I’m no longer angry, and you can retaliate… Besides, I can’t beat up an injured person… again…”

Bailey sadly smiled, trying to laugh at her own joke.

“But it was for a good reason, right? You feel better after releasing your frustration on me, right?”

“It was for my personal and selfish reason! I wronged and caused you pain for such a paltry reason, so it can’t slide! Ren, give me a punishment!”

I sat up straight and shook my head at her.

“Um… You say I am the weird one, but you are acting more abnormal…”

She sighed again. She was calm, but I still sensed some irritation.

“Huh? The hell do you mean by that?”

“No one likes punishments… And for someone like you who wants fair penalties won't be satisfied because the penalty would be unfair…”

She tilted her head in confusion.

“If I were to retaliate, you would not be content because there is no antagonism behind it — it is totally unrelated to your fault.”

Bailey was left speechless and in deep thought… So it is my chance to add something.

“And, you say that you did this because of something trivial like your feelings. No, I think that justifies what you did… Sometimes, people’s feelings are the most important thing that matters.”

That is false sometimes… The physical world is very different from the emotional world, and things can happen in the physical world that cannot afford to consider the happenings in the emotional world. People’s emotions are trivial, but in this case, I will say the opposite.

Bailey got up.

“Whatever… But, um… T-Thanks for forgiving me…”

She turned her head from me and looked down. She still looked a bit melancholy.

“Um… I’ll try forgetting because you forgave, but it still irks me out!”

She quickly turned back to me.

“I hurt you… Seriously, no matter how many times you forgive me, I can’t apologize enough…”

Bailey is not a mean person — she can be short-tempered at times, but that does not prove that she is a mean person. And her trying to atone is proof of her nature. Hm…

“B-Bailey, come here.”

“Hm? Sure…”

She slowly walked towards me…

And when she was close enough, I moved my hands towards her forehead and flicked.

“Ow! Ren, what was that!?”

She quickly covered her forehead to heal it.

“Um… S-Sorry. But I figured that this would be suitable. Really, I harbour no ill will towards you. But…”

I looked down and put my hand on the back of my neck.

“Seeing how you are really bothered since you are receiving no punishment, I thought you needed that flick… S-Sorry…”

My apology seems unwarranted because it sort of acts as retribution for Bailey’s beating. But I am not apologizing for that reason. I am apologizing because it did not seem like my flick would fully satisfy Bailey. She talked about how she needed proper retribution for her misdeeds, but the flick had no rancour behind it, probably making it unsuitable…

“H-Hey Ren…”

I looked up to look at her.

“U-Um… T-Thanks…”

Oh. I guess there was nothing to worry about…

…

“Ren… I-I’ll stay here for a few more minutes… You know, make sure you’re really okay and stuff…”

Her back was turned to me and she was looking down…

I nodded. But I think I am okay right now. I can leave now… But, there is something I want to say. Something to Bailey… She did not request help, but…

My shoulder hurts…

“Um… Bailey, about what happened earlier…”

She sighed and walked towards a nearby window to look through it. It was very sunny, and the light reflected off the occasional patches of snow on the ground.

“Ren? Aren’t you forgiving me for that? Though I guess I really shouldn’t complain if you change your mind…”

She looked down again.

“No, it is not that… I just want to talk about it.”

“What about it?”

She’s obviously still guilty about the beating… But it is what she was feeling I want to talk about.

“Well, it is about the things you said… Do you really feel that way about me?”

“Oh…”

She shook her head.

“Yeah… Sorry Ren, but… I-I… I h-hate you… You already know the reasons, right? I’m feeling sorry right now because of what I did to you, but to be honest, I don’t think my opinion will change… S-Sorry.”

I shook my head, although Bailey did not see it.

“You are mad because you can never surpass me. Sorry, but I do not intend on regressing.”

Besides, I do not think I can...

“And you probably would not like it if I did so for you, correct?”

Bailey turned and walked towards me.

“Hell yeah, of course! Ren, I want to beat you fair and square, so don’t ever stop being how you are!”

Bailey sounded determined.

“I see…”

I think that is her problem…

“Bailey, what do you think of me?”

“What? You just heard that I dislike you, right?”

“Oh, I know… It is just… Your anger is stressing you out. I think you should get rid of that anger.”

“I told you, I don’t think I can!”

“Bailey, you can… Just stop thinking about me…”

Bailey leaned towards me, putting her hands on the bed.

“I do not see you as a rival… And honestly, I do not think I can — and you probably will not like me pretending to see you as one. Not seeing you as a rival makes you angry…”

I turned to her.

“And to remedy that, just stop viewing me as a rival to you…”

She pulled back.

“What? Stop thinking about you? W-What?”

“You are obsessed with me…”

“H-Hey!”

“Oh sorry, I do not mean it in that way. What I mean is, you are so focused on surpassing me. Instead, you should think about yourself, and just yourself.”

She started stroking her chin.

“You should not let my achievements be benchmarks for yours. I mean, we are all different, so if you base your successes on mine, it will not be good for you…”

She nodded.

“Um… Based on the numbers, I am superior to you — sorry, but it is the truth…”

“Nah, it’s fine.”

“And instead of thinking that you are last in a competition between two people, think that you are first in a competition between hundreds. Or alternatively, instead of thinking you are second in a competition between five, think that you are first in a competition between four…”

I think I am convincing her…

“Overall, I am saying that you should be happy with your own achievements, and you can disregard how others perform. Actually, you can choose what you do depending on how it will make you feel. Just remember that you should not stress…”

“I see…”

Am I explaining it correctly? Is she learning? Everyone should be content with their feats. And no one should be able to make that feat seem worse…

Bailey leaned forward and gently slapped me on the face.

“Bailey?”

“Ren, that didn’t hurt, did it?”

“N-No…”

“Good…”

She smiled warmly at me despite slapping me just now.

“Dammit Ren… I didn’t know you were this motivational and philosophical… Hah, I’m feeling better! Thanks for the advice, Ren… However…”

I nodded as she walked away from the bed. She pointed at me.

“I won’t stop seeing you as my rival!”

Did my lesson not work? No, I think it affected her… Then why?..

“I’ll never try surpassing you — I’ll always try my best! But I don’t think I’ll let it affect me too much when I can’t…”

Bailey stuck her fist out towards me, asking for a fistbump.

“So Ren… You said you don’t view me as a rival, and you said you can’t pretend, right? Well, I see you as my rival! So Ren… How about it?”

She tilted her head and her smile grew larger. I could sense friendly sportsmanship in it.

I softly and hesitantly returned her fistbump.

“R-Right…”

“Yeah!”

…

One afternoon during the new semester, I was sitting in the cafeteria eating lunch next to Connie with Valerie in front of us.

I watched as Bailey came to our table and hesitantly sat down beside Valerie.

“Oh?”

Connie started stroking his chin.

“Bailey? Fancy seeing you here… Hey, any particular reason?”

Bailey promptly shook her head and frowned.

“N-No, I’m just here because Valerie is here… Nothing else, idiot.”

“Yeah, okay, okay, right, right…”

“Hmph!”

I watched as Valerie and Connie laughed. And Bailey quickly turned her head looking annoyed, but at the same time looking at ease…

I have a feeling that Bailey is another person that will be joining us frequently…