My eyes wander to the Catalyst briefcase on top of Cindy's table. My legs start moving again and walk toward the Catalyst.
"What are you doing?" Cindy's voice appeared behind me.
I stop in my track. My head droops a little while both of my eyelids close and open again.
"I'm taking the Catalyst and giving it back to them," I answer.
"Why!?" Cindy shock.
"To get your and my peaceful life back," I said.
"I don't... understand, what are you saying?" Cindy confuse.
"I'm saying that—I am done," I said.
My body turns around to face Cindy, I dropped my duffel bag on the floor, and look into her eyes.
"I am done..." I said it again.
"What do you mean done?!" Cindy asks.
"You heard me the first time," I said.
"How about your revenge, your uncle honor, and your pain?" Cindy ask.
"I don't have an uncle!— my revenge is childish because I was a kid with an anger issue besides I can live with the pain," I answer.
"How about us? I wanted the same thing, that's why I follow you. If you quit what happen to me? or Kusagi?" Cindy ask.
"That why I'm giving back the catalyst to them. So you and Kusagi can have a life," I said.
"Life? First off, you don't know what would happen if you give that thing to them. Second, do you think that they will let us go like that after what we have done?" Cindy said.
"I want it to end. No more fighting" I said.
My body turns again toward the Catalyst and I continue to walk toward it. Cindy's hand grab my arms from behind causing me to stop.
"You quit because of one freaking video?!" Cindy fumed.
"It's not! one video. Do you know how many people I hurt and kill?" I ask back to Cindy.
Cindy stays quiet and her grip loosens a little.
"Hundreds more. Every time I slept, I kept seeing their face and every time I did, I kept saying to myself that it's all for my uncle," I said.
"You saw that video. What uncle? I saw my own self...no, the real Haru died. If Haru is dead then who am I? OR what am I?" I ask her.
"WHO DID I KILL FOR? WHOSE HONOR THAT I'M SO DESPERATE TO DEFEND!?" I raise my voice.
"NOBODY, that's who! I kill and hurt people because of my own blind rage" I whimpered.
"Those people that I hurt and kill had a real family," I said.
"I wanted them to pay for what they did to my family. What family? I had none, to begin with." I said, my voice cracked.
"You had no family? That's BULLSHIT!" Cindy barked.
"What about me, Kusagi, Lucinda, Ricky, Tony, Bigjaw and the rest of them? we're your family!" Cindy exclaim.
I shrug her hand off my arm and kept my silence while looking away from her.
"I guess you don't consider us like family?" Cindy ask.
"Like you said, don't get attached" I answer.
I start walking again toward the Catalyst for the third time.
"I know you don't mean it!" Cindy said.
"I know you care!" Cindy exclaim.
"I know you are pushing us away because you don't want to hurt us anymore" Cindy exclaim.
"IF YOU CARE ABOUT US! Please, please, stop and turn around!" Cindy said.
My finger digs into my palm and I kept on walking toward the catalyst. Even though, every voice in my head and my heart kept telling me to stop. I need to end this for them, no more fighting.
"Haru...please.." Cindy beg.
I kept on walking even if I hear a sniffle of tear from Cindy.
It's time to end this.
When I reach the catalyst, I extend my hand to grab it, but the hand scanner glows green. Then, I could hear the lock mechanism moving around the briefcase. When the last lock mechanism click, the metal briefcase pops open.
I reach the handle.
A child hand pop out from the opening and grab me.
My vision went black.
When my vision return. I was right back at the river, standing on top of a swaying small boat and not a single soul around not even my uncle.
"Where am I?" I let out.
The boat shakes causing me to stumble a bit, then it stops.
"What was that?" I let out again.
The boat flips over causing me to fall overboard and into the river. I try to resurface, but something is grabbing my leg and pulling me down. I try to kick the thing that's holding my leg, but another one grabs me and then another one. They kept pulling me down deeper into the river even after I try to kick them.
I begin to lose my breath, in the moment of panic, I open my mouth, and swallow all the water. I almost died drowning when a white light appeared above. I try to reach the light with my hand, but it's way too far. Then, a child's hand grabs mine and pull me out of the water.
I was out of the water and—on a snowy street?
My eyes look around the street while my mouth and nose trying to catch a breath. The empty street only contains a single three-story building. When I look at the sky instead of a sun on top of me it changes into a moon and stars.
A single snowflake falls in front of my eyes, I catch it with my hand, and it melts almost upon touching my palm.
I could hear someone humming a lullaby when I look back at the building. A woman in thin, dirty cloth with a hood on, standing in front of the building steps. She seems to be holding something that wrapped in a blanket.
Her voice was beautiful, and I was almost swayed by her humming. Somehow, hearing her hum that lullaby causes me to calm down. A small child steps out from the left, I turn my head to look at her, I shock to see her silver hairs glow in the darkness. When I look at her face the big silver eyes, and pale white skin amaze me. The weird part is she is only wearing a medical gown.
"Who are you?" I ask.
Instead of answering my question, she starts walking toward a door.
A door that not connected to anything, a single door in the middle of the street. She opens the door and walks inside it. My eyes widen when instead of appearing walking through the door and appear behind it. She actually went into another room.
"Wait!" I called out while chasing after her.
I went through the door and find myself inside of a lab that so familiar to me. There a tube pod in the middle of the room connected to the wire that came out of the ceiling. I walk toward it and stop in front of the warning line. I close my eyes and walk to it and place my hand on it.
This is mine.
I look at the inscription on the metal bottom part of the pod; Project Lazarus. Clone 15.
This is where I used to live but that can't be true. I have been living with my uncle for as long as I can remember but why.
Why does this thing felt home?
I hear a door open and uncle rush in with someone wearing a cowboy hat on. They both panted and blocked the door behind them. The cowboy man walks to the wall in front of the pod and places a C4 charge on it.
They both hid behind the pod and squeeze the trigger.
The wall exploded revealing a way out outside of this room. The cowboy man head outside but my uncle standing in front of the pod and gazing at it. I wave at him but it seems that he can't see me.
"Touka come one before they break through that door!" The cowboy man called.
"It's my nephew," Uncle said.
"What? your nephew is dead!" The cowboy man exclaim.
"I know but this boy inside of this pod looks exactly like him," Uncle said as he places his hand on the glass.
"It's not him, it's one of their projects. A fail one! he gonna be dead after a couple month. It's no used to save him now." The cowboy man said.
"No, this one is different. I can feel it" Uncle said as he looks into the pod and smile.
"Look I got no time for this, I got what I am. If you want to save him, go ahead. I'm leaving" The cowboy man said and walk away.
"Don't worry, I will get you out of this and give the life you deserved," Uncle said and begins trying to pry it open.
There a tear flowing down his eyes and cheek. I look at him my heart full of pain and anger. I wanted to hit him but I won't not because I cant, It's because deep down I still love him.
"Why do you love him so much?" I turn around to see the kid, her head tilted.
"I don't know. Maybe, it's because he was the closest thing that I could have for a father" I answer.
"Does having a father fun?" the kid asked.
"It fun, sad, pain, warmth and everything you can think off," I answer.
The kid walks to another door that wasn't there before, she opens it and enters it. I went after her and leaving my uncle behind me.