Abraham B. A. - " I Once Believed The Sun Was A Legend"

parody summary:

For more than 7 centuries, people lived under the sky (I mean what else do we live under, the ground? oh wait never mind.) Only this sky was a immense mass of rock that covered the earth, caused by aliens from other space spilling their cosmic Oreos crumbs on the planet, during the same time because.. uhhh... webnovellogic people developed some trippy powers called suckonmah *cough* Sukira, Jadon le mc being one of them. As a person whom everyone looked at differently (because of juicy caramel skin), Jadon had no interest in the future (because he is a sad virgin). He only took care of his mom, who was in a coma, caused by Jadon as a kid thinking it was a great idea to apply olive oil all over the floor, making his mom fall head first saying: "It's just a prank bro." (Too bad she is too busy being almost dead, so of course she didn't hear him) But he ran out of clout: He needed clout to keep his mom alive, so that one day he could tell her that it was just a prank bro. And because of his JUICY caramel skin, nobody wanted to hire him (white supremacists be like lmao). So feeling a little suicidal, Jadon applies for a death wish mission in da sky! YAY!

Will he be accepted? Will he come back from the sky safely? Will he stay a lonely virgin? Or will he perhaps get some coochie along the way? Oh and friends of course (but we only care about the waifu's if I am being honest here.) Why are aliens eating Oreos in space? And why should we care about a stupid history lesson from 7 centuries ago?

Find out in "The sun does not exist, so what legend are you talking about?"!

So imma do my reactions/roasts to the 5 chapters, you kind of have to read the actual chapters to know whatever I am talking about. So Spoiler warning is given proceed at your own stupidity!

Chap 0

Okay so mc is feeling inferior because he is a bronze ass fella and for some reason everybody is living like damn moles, like I get it that there ain't no sky, but can still live on the surface right? I swear these people so stupid that when I give them money they will use it as wipe their butts instead of buying food.

Like bro apparently they see having the sun as heaven, bro talk about easy as we legit have to die only to get siked and be sent to hell, after watching too much H content.

Ight sucknomah or Sukira for normies, are powers that magically transferred from extinct animals, basically a hokage approved: "asspull no jutsu 9000."

Bro this mc legit ignored the reception when he went to visit his mom, I guess his mom wasn't up for the job as she wasn't able to teach him manners. Like this mc is the type of guy, if you give him a plate of food, he legit throws it on the ground and eats from the floor and instead of saying you, would just raise his middle finger up.

BROO This man has the audacity to sell everything without the consent of his mom just for her to get tubbed at a machine to prolong her death, and after doing all that NOW HE WANT'S TO GO ON A SUICIDE MISSION FUNDED BY THE FECKIN GOV NO LESS, you should have thought of that earlier dumbass! This mc is type must suffer from degenerative 1 brain cell syndrome where he loses 0.01% of his one brain cell capacity each second, geez bro.

chap 1

Mc coming on the scene wearing all black because he things he has the gangster drip, but in reality he is just a wannabe Sasuke, we only need a gay rival and then we are set lmao.

Instantly flexing his suckonmah *cough* Sukira because MC's gotta do that for some reason, assert dominance when nobody is around and get his ass kicked later.

Bruh people are standing in line to fecking die in the sky, bro I am starting to question if all these young mofos even know what a brain is.

Bruh these receptionists are laughing at the octopus boy, I bet they will stop then they get tentacled, but this new boy is a pussy, so he doesn't have the real balls to assert dominance.

Okay so MC has a big brain and read multiple books on ancient animals to know that suckonmah type. (I am just deadass going to call them that now) Oh mah godddd!! U SO SMARTU! as if I couldn't make out it was a damn octopus!

okay some blah blah, we don't care about different types of sucknomah!

*sips a bit of honey tea*

Bruh this woman was about to explain some very important info and this man could only think about how big her boobas were, Jadon is a SIMP!!!

Welp it's going to be wannabe Sasuke against 3rd rate H protagonist!

chap 2

Tentacleboi you know what imma call him squidward now, becuase why not, is your typical edgylord, but he has the potential to become Jadon gay love interest IGHT LETS START MAKING A SHIP AND FANFIC

Squidward X Jadon I STAN for this shit.

BRO MY SHIP IS CONFIRMED

Squidward legit said that Jaden wanted him to touch his body and the MC straight up admits that, if by then they are still aint a gae couple, then they must be so dense when a person tells them they love em their reply would be: "I love you too, as friends." lmao (pain T-T)

Okay mc is pulling some knife throwing strats, ( he missed of course) like Jadon boi this ain't COD its reality lmfao, but he rickrolled all of us by pulling a Ayanokoji big brain move by garbage acting as if all is lost, like deadass my crippled grandma could even do it better then him. Anyways at the end Jadon gave Squidward an electric orgasm, he did not seem to be pleased.

After Squidward left the arena after putting a real edgy show (real name being Blake, bro this man's name has mass GAE energy, he must be destined to become Jadon's gae rival)

So apparently we switched POV and now we have a gurl with a simp fetish for bbc, acting like a mc from a shoujo manga, bruh if for every time she blushes I get a dollar, I would be living in mega mansion with my harem right now. (Which I don't have)

chap 3

This chap is called red lights, this man just predicted the future coming of squid game lmao.

Okay so they have to shoot down drones and squidward is trying to be a cool boy by cursing, like dude stop you are legit tsundere and gay cringe material, but I can appreciate the effort by trying to win MC's heart. Heck Jadon calls him by the kun honorific now so it's showing its effect lmao. (People who didn't read the story might think it's straight up BL now)

Bruh the mc got rekt over here, where is the dominance now huh? Like a new born baby is able to assert more dominance then you BY JUST THROWING SHIT AT YOU FAM!!

Also waifu shoujo simp has returned to receive some of that bbc, you can't blame her Squidward wants some of that too.

Chap 4

Jadon got bamboozeld multiple times, well I would have just beat them up, but hey I guess he is a beta masochist, when he and Squidward get together I already know who will take what roll.

Okay this confirmed it Jadon thinks he is all hot shit alpha until this random girl just asserts her beta crushing power by ONE PUNCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! okay by one shotting him. He still got 5th place tho, but who cares for that new girl winning was just part of the daily sigma grind.

Jadon is beta confirmed!!!

Final review:

This story is for people that are braindead, why you ask? Because braindead people don't think they can consume this garbage without ending up at the mental asylum. I would recommend this to people who have nothing better to read. This book is the final product of an author who decided to make a book while having a stroke, and while reading it back in the hospital thought it was a masterpiece.

I rate this 1.420/10 not even 50 joints of A grade weed could not get me back into this story again.

XD XD OKAY OKAY I AM JOKING ALRIGHT!!

I am actually a big fan of his book and highly recommend reading it as it is pretty good in my opinion.

Now see ya at the next reactionary/roast chapter!

P.S: If you want to enter too please apply at the form!

P.S.S: Damn I am rusty, but I am sure I will get better in the future. It depends on the books too though.

Author profile link: https://www.honeyfeed.fm/u/7565