The Legend of the Pervy Archangel
There were times where the day went by slowly, where the hours dragged on, and where you're left with nothing to do but wonder where you went wrong in your life. Maybe you're trying to discover whether or not you incurred some bad karma in the past. Or perhaps you're wondering if a past incarnation of yourself was an evil machiavellian mastermind bent on ruling the world through child brainwashing. Or maybe you're just wondering if this is God's punishment for a sin you committed so far back that you don't even remember it.
This was the position that Alice found herself in as she tried to stay focused on the task at hand. She was on her shift, working as one of the waitresses at Distractions, trying to ignore the leering gazes of the men around her.
Surprisingly enough, she hardly even noticed the lustful gazes on her rear end as she walked away from yet another table filled with horny men. It probably had something to do with her current predicament, or rather, her current roommate, who was also still sitting at the bar, watching her.
Even now she could feel his eyes on her. The blatant ogling from the men around her were nothing compared to Michael's penetrating gaze. She didn't even need to see him to know that he was looking her way. That feeling of vulnerability, of being naked before the sight of another, of being pierced and penetrated and laid bare, all she needed were these feelings inundating her mind to let her know that Michael was indeed watching her.
It was all kinds of creepy.
She walked up to the next table, a fixed smile on her face that practically forced her eyes shut. “Good evening. My name's Alice, and I'll be taking your orders today. Can I start you off with something to drink?”
An impressed whistle answered her. “Woah. Didn't know you worked here, Alice.”
Alice's eyes snapped wide open. She looked down at the people sitting in the booth, shock, surprise, and a whole slew of other emotions (none of which were good), coursing through her system like some kind of raging maelstrom. Four people sat in the booth, all of them young, at least a year younger than her. She knew this because she was the oldest person in all of her classes, and she shared at least one class with each of the people there.
“W-what are you doing here?” she hissed, her cheeks burning. She’d never felt so humiliated in her life. Nothing, not even Michael saying something stupid and perverse could top the mortification she felt at having several of her peers from school discover that she worked at a nightclub. “How the hell did you even get in here?”
“You really shouldn't be asking something like that,” one of the boys said, a young man with spiky blond hair, blue eyes, and a build that put pro-wrestlers to shame, or would put them to shame in a few years. “We got in and that's all that matters. Now why don't you take our order?”
“Unless you're going to just serve yourself up,” another one quipped. Broad shouldered and big-chested, the boy looked like a quarterback, which would make sense because he was the star quarterback for her school’s varsity football team. He eyed her up and down, his gaze salacious. It took everything Alice had not to shiver in disgust. “You know, I would have never believed it if I wasn't seeing it with my own eyes, but you're pretty hot.” His grin widening as he blatantly stripped her with his eyes, the young man leaned forward. “So, how about it? Would you like to see what it's like to ride the D?”
The boys around him hooted.
“Hey, Dustin. You've already got a girlfriend.”
“That's right, man. Save some pussy for the rest of us.”
Dustin just laughed. “I guess I should. Alright, which one of you wants a piece of Alice? She might be tiny, but there should be more than enough of her to go around.”
Hooting laughter went up among the boys. Alice grit her teeth. She didn’t need to put up with this.
She spun on her heel and made to walk away.
She froze when a hand latched onto her wrist.
Alice turned around. The hand that was grabbing her was large, calloused, and far stronger than her. She looked up the arm to the face of the person grabbing her, Dustin, whose grin was so wide it nearly forced his eyes shut. “Now just where do you think you're going?”
“I'm going to tell my boss there's a couple of underage dickwads that managed to sneak in and need to be kicked out.”
Dustin's smile turned dangerous. “Now that wouldn't be very nice of you. We just want to have a little fun. Perhaps you could even join us?” He looked at her body again, and Alice felt like someone had dumped a layer of oil over her. “I'm certain none of us would mind.”
“Let go of me.” Alice tried to pull herself from his grip, but Dustin's hold on her tightened.
“You should think about showing this side of you at school. If you did, you'd be a lot more popular.”
“I don't care about being popular!” Alice gritted her teeth and tried to yank her hand out of Dustin's grasp. “Let! Me! Go!”
“And what if I don't want to?” asked Dustin, his mood suddenly darkening.
Alice glared at him, her mind racing as she thought about her options. She could start screaming, which would certainly get these three kicked out, but it might also cause a scandal. Nightclubs like Distractions were notorious for getting shut down because people believed they actually let minors come in and drink alcohol. It had already happened to several clubs in Long Beach. The news would write up a story about a club that served drinks to underage children, the people would riot, and the club would be forced to shut down. She didn't want that to happen, not to the place that Maria managed.
She could also get violent, which held a lot more appeal, but it wasn't practical. While Alice had confidence in herself, she was also a realist. She might be able to get one of them with a surprise attack, but then the others would be on her faster than she could say Archangel. Besides, that would also cause a scene, which she wanted to avoid.
Really, the only option seemed to be doing what they wanted and hoping they would leave this place and never return.
At least, she thought that was her only option.
Until a large, masculine hand grabbed Dustin's wrist hard enough that the young boy cried out in pain and let go. Alice, free from the rough grabbing, sighed in relief and rubbed her wrist. It hurt, and she could see the redness from where his fingers had been gripping her. Once she ascertained that her wrist would be fine, she looked at the person who'd come to her rescue.
Somehow, she was not surprised to see Michael standing there, his hand latched onto Dustin's wrist, forcing it to bend at the elbow in a way that could not be comfortable. He wasn't glaring, but he did possess a look of mild disapproval, which he directed towards Dustin and his cohorts.
“It looks like you four are causing Alice some trouble,” he said, letting go of the wrist. “I would like to ask that you stop.”
Dustin jerked his arm towards him, rubbing it the same way that Alice had done to her wrist a few seconds ago. She felt a surge of vindication. It served the jerk right. She hoped he liked having a taste of his own medicine.
“Oh yeah? And just who the hell are you?”
The frown on Michael's face twisted and deepened. He looked over at Alice, a question in his eyes. “Why is it that all of the young people of this era use such vulgar language?”
“That… that's actually a good question,” Alice admitted, shrugging. “I don't know, honestly. I've never thought about it.”
But he did bring up a good point. Thinking about it, why did she and other people her age swear so much? She had never considered the subject before, but now that he'd posed the question, she found herself curious to know the answer.
“Hey!” Alice and Michael turned back to Dustin and his friends. “I don't know who you think you are, but you should get lost.” Dustin's eyes flickered over to Alice, blazing a path up and down her body, making Alice instinctively cover herself up. The younger man then looked back at Michael and smirked. “Alice was just about to start serving us, so piss off!”
Michael stared at Dustin with a blank look. Alice watched on, not really knowing what to do. Distractions was generally really good about keeping people who were too young to drink out of the club. The only reason Maria let her work there as a server was because it was legal to serve alcohol at eighteen, but she wouldn't have been able to get in as a customer.
“Hey, pervert,” Alice said.
Said pervert pouted at her. “I have a name, you know.”
“Whatever. Listen. These four, they're not supposed to be in here.”
“Hey! Are you two ignoring us again?!” asked the quarterback.
“I don't know how they got in,” Alice continued, ignoring Dustin and his friends, who looked like they were about to blow their tops, especially Dustin. She'd never seen his face look so red before. But then, she'd never really associated with his ilk at school either. “But they shouldn't have been allowed inside. They're too young.”
“Really?” Michael frowned. “So you're saying these kids are breaking the law?”
“Well, yes, in a way.” Alice actually had to blink when she saw how displeased Michael appeared. The subtle difference between his usual facade and this one were small, but they were visible enough to be startling. “It's against the law for people who are under the age of twenty-one to enter establishments like this as a customer. It also goes against our policy. There are some night clubs similar to ours who allow people that are at least eighteen in and just refuse to serve them alcohol, but we aren't one of them.”
Michael nodded as he listened. When Alice finished informing him of their laws and policies, he turned back to Dustin and the others. “You heard her. You four are apparently breaking the law. I would like to ask that you leave.”
“You think we're just going to get up and leave after this?” Dustin seethed, practically vibrating in his seat. His face, which had taken on the red hue of humiliation, made Alice wonder if his head might start swelling up like a balloon. “Not a chance in hell!”
“There you go talking about hell again.” Michael appeared annoyed by how blaze Dustin spoke of hell. Alice could only shake her head. This guy, he really got into that whole archangel act of his with a little too much passion. “I would like you to stop mentioning hell in such a blazé manner as well.”
“Oh? You'd like us to stop?” Dustin sneered. “Fuck off! Who the hell do you think you are? My fucking mother?! Why don't you go and―Yeowch!” Dustin's vitriolic words were cut off when Michael's hand shot out faster than Alice could blink, latched onto the boy's ear, and began to yank on it. “Gah! Let go, you mother fucker! That hurts!”
“I might not be your mother, but if she lets you talk like this, then she obviously isn't doing a good job of teaching you.” Alice had to pick her jaw off the floor when she saw the scowl on Michael's face. Having never seen it before, she had to admit that he actually looked kind of frightening when he was scowling. “Now come on. It's time you kids left.”
“Hey! Let go of me, shitstain! You can't do this to me!”
“Keep thinking that,” Michael said, right before he snatched the ear of one of the other kids―Billy, Alice thought his name was―earning another yelp. “Now it's time for you to get lost.”
He then proceeded to drag the two out of their seats and started pulling them towards the door. They struggled and flailed and did their utmost to get out of Michael's grip, but the older man was apparently far stronger than they were. The other two high school students, still sitting in the booth and staring at Dustin and Billy with blank expressions that made them look even dumber than Alice knew they were, remained seated as Michael proceeded to kick the entrance open and toss the two kids out.
Alice could not see what happened after that, but she could have sworn she heard a, “you won't get away with this!” from one of her classmates―Dustin, probably.
Michael then returned to the booth and looked at the last two student, who were now staring up at him with wide eyes and dropped jaws. He smiled, but it wasn’t a nice smile. Alice decided to call this smile the, “If you decide to fuck me, I’m going to beat your ass” smile.
“I'm going to give you two choices,” Michael informed them. “You can leave under your own power, or you can be belligerent like those two, and I'll drag you both out by the ear.” He then spread his arms wide. “It's your choice.”
Needless to say, the two high school students couldn't leave fast enough.
~The Archangel Michael~
Michael watched the two high school students scramble out of the booth, and then out of the club altogether, frowning. Those boys were perfectly willing to break the law for their own selfish and greedy desires. Were most humans like that?
For reasons that he couldn't fully comprehend, Michael felt disappointment in humanity. They were God's favored creations, built in his own image, supposedly. Yet unlike God, these humans were morally frail creatures, unable to fathom the consequences of their actions, incapable of making the right choice. They followed their desires, coveting things they couldn't have, even when they knew it was wrong.
He was beginning to see why Lucifer rebelled.
“Michael.” At the sound of his name being called, Michael looked at Alice. She wasn't looking at him, but rather, staring at something several feet to his left. Her cheeks were just a little red, and she seemed to be struggling with something. “I wanted to thank you,” she said, and then added, “for helping me with those four, I mean. I, well, I appreciate it.”
Michael smiled and amended his previous thoughts. Not all humans were bad. Alice had proven that, even if she could stand to watch her language.
“You're welcome,” he said simply. “I'm glad to be of some help. You've already done a lot for me, so consider this one small way I plan on paying you back.”
As the two stood there, Michael finally noticed something he hadn't while dealing with those kids. The silence. As little as several minutes ago, the club had been filled with the sounds of music and merry chatter. Now an inexplicable stillness permeated the place. The music had stopped, the talking had stopped, it felt like time itself had ground to a halt.
Alice seemed to finally notice this as well. She looked into the crowded room, and Michael followed her gaze. A number of people were staring at them, and he easily deduced that they had likely been staring since the start of their confrontation with that Dustin kid and his friends. Observing the mass of onlookers, his sharp eyes were able to pick out individual countenances. He recognized most of them, shock, disbelief, curiosity, and more. With so many people gathered, all of them different, all of them unique, there was a cornucopia of facial expressions to see.
“Did we do something wrong?”
“Then why are they staring at us?”
“Because something interesting just happened,” Alice said, shrugging. “You don't see something like what just happened every day, you know. It's only natural that people would be interested. Everyone’s a gossip. I'm sure what you did to those kids will be talked about for a while, at least until the novelty wears off.”
“I see… I think.”
He actually didn't see, but supposed this was just a part of human nature that he didn't know about. Michael was beginning to find out that he knew very little about humans as a whole, which he supposed was partly his fault, since he'd never bothered to learn about them from the angels under his command that had once been human.
In his defense, though, he didn't think he'd need to know until just recently.
Maria walked up to them, her eyes on Michael. She stopped directly in front of him, her hands clasped behind her back. She rocked back and forth on her heels, an ear to ear smile caressing her lips, almost splitting her face in half. She looked rather happy about something.
Michael looked at the woman curiously.
“You said you're name was Michael, right?” He nodded, slowly, wondering what she wanted with him. “Have you ever thought about becoming a bouncer?”
While Michael just tilted his head, confused because he didn't know what a bouncer was, Alice's eyes became the size of dish pans, such was her shock.
~The Archangel Michael~
Alice and Michael arrived home later that night, or rather, early in the morning, seeing how night and come and gone. While the sun wasn’t up, vestiges of light could be seen on the horizon. The stars were also beginning to vanish. It wouldn’t be long before daylight came.
Shutting the door behind her, Alice flicked the light switch on, allowing the bulbs flicker several times before illuminating the room. She then leaned back against the wall and closed her eyes. She felt tired―and shocked, but mostly tired.
“I can't believe this,” the soft, muttered words escaped her lips before she could stop them. Her eyes opened a few seconds later, and she peered at Michael, who held in his hands the uniform that Maria had given him to wear. “I can't believe that Maria actually gave you a job as a bouncer.”
“I was kinda surprised too,” Michael admitted, looking down at the clothing in his hands. Alice just sighed. “By the way...” She looked at him as he trailed off, his expression scrunching up in what could only signify confusion. “What is a bouncer?”
Alice stared at him for a moment, disbelieving. The moment soon passed, however, and she simply leaned her head back against the wall again and sighed. “You really are an idiot, aren't you?”
“Why are you always insulting me like that? It's not very nice.”
“Bouncers are like security guards.” Alice ignored Michael's childish pout. “They work at places like bars and concerts and dance clubs to provide these places with security. They do things like checking people's ID to make sure they're legally able to enter, refusing people who are under age, and kicking people out when they get too rowdy. Basically, they do what you did to those four boys.”
“That sounds easy enough,” Michael said. “By the way…”
“What is it now?”
“What's an ID?”
Alice just groaned.