The Initiation

The sunset marked the start of a conclusion. The rich, bold collusion of yellows and reds that it comprised would eventually transition to the calm of a silent night.

Outside the alleyway by the professor parking lot stood three brave men in the sunset, there to witness their very own conclusion—the one of the mysterious Squad arc.

Well, crouched bravely behind some nearby bushes that is.

“Hey, are you sure this is the right place?” whispered Akashi. “There’s no one here except those rats in the corner.”

“Are you sure that isn’t them?” whispered back Makoto. They hadn’t seen any other alleyways near here. He looked back down at his watch. “It’s 6:58, they should be here soon.”

“Do we really need to hide though? The bristles are getting my skin all itchy,” complained Nishinoya.

“You fool, this is an elementary combat strategy. We have the tactical advantage being the first ones to arrive. If they try to ambush us, they’ll have another ambush coming. And that, my dear Nishinoya, is how the predators realize they were the prey all along,” responded Makoto smoothly.

“Hey, excuse me,” popped in a voice behind them.

Makoto jumped on top of Nishinoya’s head in alarm. “I-Impossible. Our cover has been blown. We must retaliate quickly! Go, Nishinoya!”

“No, wai-” cried the assailant, as Nishinoya proceeded to thrash him black and blue.

***

“W-Well, you could’ve let us know earlier you were a freshman recruited by the squad too…”

“Yeah I was about to, before you released your friend on me like a frickin’ pocket monster,” yelled the freshman as he held an ice pack to his swollen eye.

“So sorry about that man,” apologized Nishinoya. “Oh no, your hair got pulled out during our altercation!” he exclaimed as he pointed at the freshman’s half bald head.

“Don’t worry, I’m looking up wig prices as we speak,” comforted Makoto as he scrolled on his phone.

“Oh nah, that’s just how it was.”

“Oh.”

“Well now, let’s let bygones be bygones, haha, it’s all good amongst chums,” laughed Makoto awkwardly.

“What’s your name by the way?” interjected Akashi, trying to clear the air.

The freshman sighed. “I’m Orochi. What about you guys?”

The group exchanged introductions. Apparently, Orochi had been given the card in a bathroom stall, and Makoto didn’t want to hear any more details on that.

“Only four?” boomed a voice behind them. It was the same voice that they’d encountered at the cafeteria earlier in the day. Makoto tensed up. This was it.

He turned to find the three perpetrators. The first guy was the one from the cafeteria, and seemed to be the leader or captain of the group. The second guy he also recognized as the one who talked to him in Econ I. The third must’ve been the one Akashi had interacted with.

“Our intricate recruitment plan, with many months of planning, has only gotten us 4 people?!” cried the third guy disbelievingly.

The captain sighed. “And here I was thinking that we’d hold some competition to weed out people if there were too many. Oh well, follow me guys. Glad you can join us.” He went forward and unlocked a cleverly camouflaged door which Makoto hadn’t noticed before on the side of the alleyway. “Don’t be shy. It’s not like we’re kidnapping you or anything,” he said with a smile as he propped it open. Exactly what a kidnapper would say, thought Makoto.

They marched in one by one. The room had clearly been previously abandoned, with pipes crawling around the top and sides. In the middle was a bulletin board with thumbtacks holding newspapers and rubber bands interweaving between them, kind of like in those murder mystery movies. If Makoto didn’t know any better he would’ve thought he was brought in for a serial killer investigation. Well, maybe it was too soon to discount that possibility yet.

After the last person entered the room, the captain closed the door behind them.

“Well, let’s get started, shall we?” said the captain as he walked to the front. “First with introductions. I’m Ebi and these guys are Furai and Raisu,” he said gesturing at the cafeteria guy and the econ guy respectively.

“You’re telling me an ebi fried that rice?” tried Makoto. Nobody laughed.

“Now it’s you guys’ turn. Say your name, major, and the dreams and aspirations you lay forth as you enter university. You in the middle, start.”

“Me?” Makoto pointed at himself. He was tempted to just get straight to the point with these potential swindlers… but on second thought he decided to play along with their game. He'd find out eventually what this was all about.

“I’m Katayama, Makoto. Studying Economics. I hope to learn a lot and get a good job out of college. Nice to meet you all,” he said with a typical bow. It may have been a bit too formal, but screw it. No need to reveal anything other than the surface level details.

“No, no, no,” interrupted the captain. “What are your actual dreams and aspirations? What do you want to accomplish at university?”

“Like I said, it’s to make use of this opportunity to learn, meet new people, and get a good job,” said Makoto, not giving in.

“Hmph. Gorou, pull out his scouting report.”

“Wait sir, we're ditching the code names already?"

The captain just stared blankly back.

"Never mind, yas-sir!”

The guy who had duped Makoto in Econ pulled out his laptop and scrolled for a couple of seconds before handing his computer to the captain.

“Let’s see… ah yes, here we go: Katayama, Makoto. Economics Major. Slightly above average height, and decent features. Fell asleep and needed to be woken up by the professor, then proceeded to stare at a girl in the front of the class. Tried talking with said girl after class and failed miserably.” He looked up from the computer screen with a sly grin. “Not exactly what you were just purporting, eh?”

“Ayo, stop!” interrupted a furious Makoto. Scouting report? More like a blackmail report! How did they even know that he had talked with her after class? That conversation only lasted for 5 seconds at most.

“It’s not even like that! We just know each other from high school, that’s all,” Makoto tried explaining. “I didn’t even want to talk with her.”

“Oi oi, so that was you who fell asleep,” sniggered Akashi.

“Ah, poor Makoto,” joined in Nishinoya. “Seems you are embracing a new side of yourself now that you’ve made it to college.”

Of course, his friends had already ditched him in favor of these guys.

“Now, there’s nothing wrong with what you did in regards to the girl,” claimed the captain. “In fact, it’s the opposite: it’s quite commendable. Most people expect magic to occur in their life, but then proceed to put in zero effort. Falling asleep in your first college class ever, on the other hand…” The whole room began laughing.

“It’s not what you think!” complained Makoto.

“But let me take a step back,” he continued, ignoring Makoto’s defense. “Take a seat, we’re about to have a long discussion…”

"Wait, what happened to our introductions?" whispered Nishinoya to Akashi and Orochi.

"Well I'm used to being the forgotten mob character anyway," said Orochi.

"Bro, are you alright?" said Nishinoya and Akashi concernedly.

Makoto let out a silent groan.

The captain stood authoritatively at the front of the room. “I’m sure you’re all wondering who we are. Once upon a time, we were in your shoes,” he looked at his subordinates, who all nodded their heads in unison. Makoto looked at his shoes and made a silent note to replace them pronto.

“Drifting through life, unsure of what to do. We didn’t have the skills or the proper mentorship to achieve something significant.”

The captain cleared his voice. “Since the university was established in the 1950s, one, and only one thing, has predominantly gone through the minds of the men who pass through the Takaoka University halls. Anyone have a guess as to what that is?”

Orochi raised his hands. “How to accumulate money and wealth?”

“Decent but wrong,” replied the captain.

“How to push the boundaries of academia and research?” asked Akashi.

“I will pretend I didn’t hear that,” said the captain. “Anyone got anything else?”

Silence ensued.

“It’s love, you idiots!” said the captain. “Lo and behold, we are the Wingman Squad, one of the first student clubs that ever formed in this university’s history, to enable upperclassmen to help their dear underclassmen get girlfriends!”

Makoto was in shambles. These guys had invited them to this suspect room inside a suspect-er alley via questionable methods… for a male lovey-dovey counseling club?!

“Most college guys’ lives go like this,” continued the captain, sadly shaking his head. “They take a major they probably don’t like, but that lets them dip their fingers into the good gravy. They may or may not study diligently, but they will certainly pull an all-nighter right before an exam. They will perhaps spend time applying for internships, of course. They’ll join a club here and there, have fun there and here, maybe even try asking a girl out casually, get rejected, and proceed to declare their eternal love for the 2D. And then they graduate, ready to enter the working world.”

“However,” he emphasized, “what a shortsighted way this is of living out their college days. There is a lack of focus! There is no sincere attempt given to the pursuit of what will give them true long lasting happiness, namely the pursuit of love! And in their calamitous end, lying on their deathbeds, they will wonder where things went wrong, unaware of the tragedy they imposed onto themselves during the primes of their exuberance and youth!”

“But, it’s easiest to get girls after college,” disagreed Orochi. “Once we make lots of money, we can attract females with wads of cash! After all, legal tender is to the female as lamps are to moths.”

The captain looked at each of them gravely. “This, my dear underclassmen, this is the critical error in your thinking. Answer me this - what happens if you ignore the pursuit of love until after university?” He turned to face Makoto. “When you work at your dream banking job with that econ degree of yours, and you start dating, what will girls think? Hmm, he has income, he has stability, he looks ok, alright then let’s date and perhaps get married.”

“Is that the type of girl you want to spend the rest of your life with, Makoto? Which do you prefer, the one who dates you for what you have, or the one who dates you for who you are?”

“For who you are,” said Makoto, playing along with the narrative, seeing it the fastest route to get out of this place.

“Bingo. Otherwise you’ll miss out on life’s greatest pleasure—that of true love! Once you enter the working world, the way others look at you will change. What you have is more important than who you are. Most poor souls don’t find out about this tragic fact until it’s too late…”

“This is what is at stake for you guys!” the captain suddenly declared. “Now, in college, right before entering the working world, is the time to focus on what's truly important: finding the girl that will accompany you for the rest of your life, for who you are, not what you are. Friends,” he said, as he pointed towards Akashi and Nishinoya, “will come and go. They have other priorities. They will chase their dead end jobs and other useless dreams.”

“Hey!” protested Akashi and Nishinoya.

“But who will stick with you till the end?” continued the captain, eyeing Makoto.

He paused for dramatic effect.

“That’s right, your precious, lifelong partner in crime. Your happiness in life till the day you rot onto your deathbed is determined entirely by the quality of the partner who stays by your side. So, my dear underclassmen, shouldn’t finding and pursuing a worthy partner truly be your number one priority, right now?”

The whole group nodded in silence, including Makoto. Wait, why was he nodding? The grit and passion of the speech must've gotten to him, god dammit. He was falling right into their hands.

“But all you’re saying is that we should just try asking girls out during college,” interjected Akashi, unconvinced. “That’s simple enough.”

“Simple enough? Simple enough?! That, my friend, is where guys like you need the most help!” exclaimed the captain. “You think it’s as simple as saying ‘Oh, you’re pretty, let’s go on a date?’ or ‘The moon is beautiful, isn’t it?’ and thinking the rest will work out like some fairy tale? If so, then I have some revelation for you—the movies ain’t like the real world, fellas.”

“And deep inside of most of us guys, we know that. We know!” teared up the captain. “We know it ain’t simple… but we can’t do anything about it! Because as much as someone may appeal to you, you must appeal to them by that much too, if not more, for a relationship to work out! And most of us don’t know how to appeal to the girls.”

The captain paused, catching a moment of breath. Makoto snuck a glance to the side to gauge his friend’s sentiments. Nishinoya was smirking, enjoying himself to no end. Akashi was wiping off his tears and blowing his nose, Makoto unsure where the tissue even came from. And finally there was Orochi, who was nodding furiously in agreement and taking notes on his xPad.

A wham could be heard as the captain patted his fist against his chest.

“That’s where we, your senpai, come in. Music please.”

“Yas, sir!” Gorou hit the spacebar on his computer, and moaning sounds started blasting out of the speakers.

“Ahem,” said the captain sternly.

“H-Haha, uh, anybody been watching the women’s tennis grand slams lately? Cause I-I sure have!” coughed Gorou as he vigorously clicked around. Makoto was fairly sure the grand slams ended a week ago, but alright.

A couple seconds later and some epic motivational, orchestral piece could be heard.

The captain looked around. “We have the expertise to guide you on your journeys to get girlfriends. We have undergone the rigorous trials and tribulations of being part of the Squad, learning the secrets and techniques that have been passed on from generation to generation at this school since its inception. And now we all have partners to show for it.

“We can prepare rigorous one-on-one plans for each of you, and conduct group lessons as well. And all of this is free due to the generous club alumni donations.

“No matter your looks, height, weight, hairline, or jawline, you all have a place here,” declared the captain. “Our only mission is to bring success into your romantic life. Let us help you, so that your life takes the high road up to the stars and beyond.”

Wow, ain’t this whole thing something special, thought Makoto, internally rolling his eyes. While there was some merit to the captain’s argument, there was more that Makoto had come to Takaoka for than chasing around for girls. And despite what anyone said, his goals did matter to him.

“Makoto,” the captain announced suddenly as the music started to fade. “That girl you talked to, we identified as Mrs. Uyeno Shizuka. You’ve known her since your high school days, you said?”

“Yes,” said Makoto with a sigh, resigning on learning how they found out about these types of things.

“Uyeno Shizuka?” said a puzzled Akashi. “Isn’t that the girl you’ve been friends with since your childhoo–?”

“Shush you imbeci—” panicked Makoto. “Don’t give them any more ideas!”

But it was too late. A large grin filled the captain's face. Uh oh.

“She’s pretty, ain’t she?” tested the captain.

Well she was easy on the eyes, Makoto had to admit. But that was secondary to everything else, and especially with his history with her…

“Prettiness does not equate to attractiveness,” growled Makoto, grabbing Orochi’s xPencil and snapping it like a twig.

“That was the third one this week,” cried Orochi, in tears.

“Look at you, you little tsundere,” said the captain. “But, you have the highest stakes out of all of us then. A lovely, pretty girl who accompanied you through your joyful childhood and continues to accompany you towards the deep end of life is the richest, most exuberant experience a man like you could ever experience. Most would be envious of your situation.

“Don’t let this opportunity go, my dear Makoto. Your life has only two directions it can go. A fulfilled life with her, or one with deep regrets which you will carry with you to your grave.”

The captain approached Makoto. “Come. With our help, you too can get a girlfriend,” he said, lending his hand out.

Makoto looked at the senpai’s outstretched hand and at his earnest face, then back again at the hand, and he was suddenly filled with emotion.

Unfortunately, that emotion was disgust.

"No, thanks."