Chapter 2:
The Dream of Perfect Youth
***
We were sitting in the room, watching TV. We were watching Blooming Youth, an anime that was close to both of our hearts. It was based on a highly-acclaimed light novel, and the adaptation was no less impressive than the original.
"I love this anime. No matter how much I rewatch it, it always warms my heart."
"Hmmm, admit it might even be as good as the source material..."
"Woah, am I hearing it right? Mr. The-light-novel-was-better can actually like an adaptation?"
"Shut up. Even I admit a good adaptation when I see one. It's just that they keep screwing up all of my favorites. Besides, there are many adaptations I do like..."
"Really? Name a few."
"...Well, there are certainly a few... I just can't remember off the top of my head, okay?"
"...Sure, sure. Not like I thought you would name any."
We kept on bickering for a long time after that. Like usual, we discussed some anime, gushed about our personal favorites, and dissed each other for our picks. Then we moved on to some other topics. We talked about our dreams and aspirations, what we wanted to do in life, and so on.
Since I'd found my first friend, almost every day has been like that. I treasured that daily life and our bond. Those days continued for several years. Joy and irresistible comfort were our constant companions.
That is until my stubbornness put a stop to our time together. But I don't regret it. I still stand by what I said and have no intention of backing off. The bet is on, and I will see it to the end. Whatever that end might be.
The mere thought that those irreplaceable days will never resume even after the bet ends makes my chest feel empty. Like a hole opened, and all my feelings now continuously seep through it. Still, I don't intend to back out. I believe that the true nature of friendship isn't about conforming to each other. And our bond has become too twisted to be called friendship.
So I unhesitatingly ripped it apart.
***
Maegahara Shosei
"Hello, Ishikawa-san. What are you doing here?" I asked, breaking the silence.
The quiet library was empty, aside from the two of us. I wanted to look for a book and, in the process, spotted Ishikawa Yamada and approached him. A mass of textbooks was piled up in front of him, signifying that he was studying. A student holed up in the library was a natural, unsurprising sight. However, something about this whole situation seemed off to me.
It was the fact that the student in front of me was Ishikawa Yamada.
Why would he, of all people, hole up studying? He had the second-best grades in the whole year, and while I imagined him as someone diligent, one didn't just submerge themself in textbooks for no reason. It was your average day at school, midterms weren't remotely close, and there wasn't any exceptionally complicated material in today's class.
So why was he here?
As I was thinking, Ishikawa-san lifted his head in response to my question.
"Eh..? Ah, Maegahara-kun. As you can see, I'm just studying here," he said, and then, after awkwardly scratching his head, added. "To be honest, I struggled to understand the math lesson, so now I'm here, in the library..."
Ishikawa Yamada? Struggling with material from today's math classes? I felt suspicious about that. I mean, even I understood today's lesson. I wasn't a bad student, and my grades were decent, but I wasn't on Ishikawa-san's level.
He consistently had the second-best grades in all the subjects (Itsuki has the best ones) and was known for being one of the most academically proficient students in the entire school. Leaving aside an anomaly like Itsuki, Ishikawa-san was the prime example of an exceptional student. Moreover, the sheer variety of areas he excelled in would convince pretty much anyone he's a sort of superhuman. From sports to socializing and studying — he shined everywhere. Nine students out of ten would probably bring him up as a prime example of someone exceptional.
So, why was someone like him struggling with a topic that even I understood? Even though I was puzzled, I knew this was a great opportunity. An opportunity I couldn't pass on.
"Ehmm, Ishikawa-san, would you like me to teach you?" I offered, hoping to use this chance to get closer to him. In response to my offer, a hint of surprise showed on his face. After staring at me for a second, he happily asked.
"Really? You don't mind? If so, please do. I appreciate it."
As he said that, he had his typical charismatic, charming smile.
Ishikawa Yamada. From the side, he seemed perfect in every way possible. His great academic prowess, combined with his unmatched affinity for sports and model-level looks, was impressive no matter how you slice it. Stylish, easily approachable, kind, and well-respected by everyone. Everything about him was so utterly perfect it felt fake.
Today's topic in math was calculating the probability of events. The moment I started explaining, the smile disappeared from Ishikawa's face and gave place to a weighty expression, the kind I'd never seen on him before.
"So that's the difference in calculating the probability of mutually exclusive and not exclusive events..."
"Ohhh, I see now! Thanks. Now, I need to try to solve this one myself..."
The moment my explanation clicked for him, it was like his face lit up. His eyes brightened up with excitement as he dived into the math problem.
As the tutoring session continued, gradually, I realized something about Ishikawa Yamada. At first, I thought he must not have paid attention in today's class or something similar. However, to my surprise, that wasn't the case. He was simply not very good at academics. Ishikawa-san was by no means stupid, but he was far from a genius. That's why the class alone wasn't enough, so he immediately went to the library and hit the books.
Incredibly simple, straightforward, and puzzling to me. I couldn't understand what drove Ishikawa-san to such lengths. Expectations of others? A desperate struggle to not be left behind? Innate pride and stubbornness? My thoughts kept swirling, puzzling over his devotion to studying.
"Ishikawa-san? How...how often do you study here in the library?" I asked him curiously.
"How often? Well — it pains me to admit it, but I'm not very good at studying, so I usually come here every day when I don't have club practice. Although sometimes I come here after football so I can study anyway...," he answered, slightly embarrassed. His answer surprised me, so I followed up with another question.
"Every day... For how long?"
"What's this? Feels like I'm getting interrogated, hahaha," he laughed. "Well, it's normally at least three hours."
In contrast to his cheerful voice, I fell deep into thought. Doesn't that mean he constantly studied late into the evening? I tried to spend all my free time watching anime, and I wasn't fond of most subjects, so from my perspective, understanding Ishikawa-san's drive to study was impossible. However, I did understand one thing. Sometimes, nothing was more burdening than the weight of people's expectations.
"It must be difficult on you... Do you even get any time to relax?" I asked Ishikawa-san, still struggling to comprehend the struggles he had to go through.
"Don't worry about it — of course I do! There are weekends and stuff — though I still study some on those days, I get enough time to have fun, so don't worry."
As he said that, he flashed me one of his perfect smiles and returned to solving the problem.
I really couldn't understand what drove him to such lengths. It could be hard to live up to the you that people want to see. But. Watching Ishikawa Yamada, I kept wondering. Was that the correct answer? Was that what propelled him forward?
Something about it felt wrong, and my curiosity lit up. A single thought dominated my mind at that moment. I want to know more about this person.
And that's why I said the next words. Even though I knew my initial guess was probably off.
"It must be difficult — to keep up with others' expectations. I would certainly hate it if I had to spend all my time devoted to school just because of outside pressure."
Listening to me, he went silent, and I could feel a shift in his mood. His usual friendly smile disappeared from his face. His gaze was still at the textbook — so I couldn't get a read on his expression. Still, I kept going.
"It must be hard on you, Ishikawa-san. You should ignore others and relax a bi—"
"Don't misunderstand. Maegahara-san, I'm doing this for myself, not anyone else."
His tone was sharp and dry, no longer filled with the friendliness that was so prevalent in it before, nothing like the usual Ishikawa Yamada. I could sense genuine frustration and annoyance in his words.
After a pause, he continued. His voice was still sharp but significantly calmer than before.
"Maegahara-san, I only do what I want. There's nothing worse than spending your life doing things you dislike, is there?" he said as if stating the most obvious thing in the world.
"Doing what you want...?"
There was a firm conviction in his words, impactful and decisive. As if this was something he could never give up. His steadfast will surprised me, and I found myself lost for words. Meanwhile, Ishikawa-san's expression changed to a wry smile as he attempted to dispel the tense atmosphere.
"...Well, don't mind me, Maegahara-san. I'm sure you didn't mean anything wrong by that. You sympathized with me, and I got worked up for no reason, sorry."
"No... It's fine — it's just, I didn't expect you to feel so strongly about it," I said apologetically.
He looked outside the window with a slight smile on his face. With that expression locked on his face, Ishikawa-san began explaining.
"You see, I love studying. The excitement of learning something new, the joy of satisfying your curiosity, and the satisfaction of your hard work finally paying off. Not just studying, the same applies to sports, or frankly anything. Putting in the effort as you move toward your goal — it's a pleasant feeling, you know?"
He finally took his gaze off the window and directed it at me. Somewhere along the way, his slight, awkward smile transformed into a childishly passionate one. Something about that smile captivated me.
I could finally feel a connection. I felt Ishikawa's thoughts reach me for the first time. As that thought popped up, I mumbled the first thing that came to mind.
"...You should try playing games," I said as I stared at his smile.
"Eh? What did you say?" Ishikawa-san asked, surprised by my sudden intervention.
The words came out on their own, unintentionally, so my voice was faint, and he failed to make out what I said.
"You should try playing games."
I repeated. This time my words were loud enough, and Ishikawa-san stared at me in slight puzzlement.
"The thrill of overcoming yourself and the challenges offered to you... I think that's the essence of a lot of games. I love those sorts of games, and that's why I feel I can relate."
I could tell he was still confused, so I continued.
"Those games are fun, and I bet you never play since you're so busy studying. That's why you should try them out sometime. I'll recommend you some, okay?"
His puzzlement changed to surprise and, in a few more moments, to a warm smile.
"I see. Maybe you're right. I should probably try it out."
Somehow, I could feel the warmth on my skin. For a second, I believed the smile Ishikawa-san had at the moment had the power to warm the surroundings.
Although, that was probably just the sunlight's heat...
***
Furukawa Itsuki
I wonder if he will manage to connect with them? So far, there haven't been any genuine interactions between him and the group — merely failed attempts at small talk. In the first place, his infatuation with them began from what essentially was surface-level observations. It wouldn't be surprising if he came to be disappointed with the group, as they end up being way more shallow than he expected.
"..."
Probably not going to happen, huh? I know that without you telling me. After all, I've observed everyone in the class for a long time, so I'm aware they are nothing like that. Although, even after all of that, I still don't quite understand you. Well, I guess you're just a creep.
"..."
Try looking in the mirror? Well, I'm not going to deny that. Regardless, you wanted to know about Shosei, isn't that right?
It's exactly what it seems to be on the surface. There isn't much to say. Shosei is a passionate fan of anime who's always dreamed of spending a perfect kind of youth with an equally perfect group. However, I do have to note.
He can be naive and childishly stuck up in his ways. His dream is as idealistic as it is immature. He's not stupid but is also far from the sharpest tool in the shed. He's a fool, and a stubborn one at that. But—
You shouldn't underestimate him. Do not mistake his foolishness for obliviousness.
He is far from shallow or thoughtless. His evaluation of the group didn't come from just anything. I mean, I did say they were surface-level observations, but I'm confident he was able to see a lot from just that. And precisely because they are the kind of people he respects, he won't stop at his attempts to dig deeper.
Not satisfied? You still want to hear more? Fine, I have plenty to say and much more free time than usual, so I'll entertain you. Especially considering that you, sort of, scare me —
Hmm? You must have misheard me. I said, 'how considerate you are scares me,' alright?
***
Maegahara Shosei
I kept tutoring Ishikawa-san for a couple more hours. Throughout the entire study session, he constantly went from pensive contemplation to kidlike excitement as he solved one problem after another. He looked like he was having the time of his life. I wish I enjoyed studying as much as he did.
"Thank you, Maegahara-san. Your explanations are easy to understand, and it was a nice change of pace to study with someone. If you ever need something, feel free to ask me, alright?" Ishikawa-san thanked me.
With that, our study session has concluded. It took some time, but by the end, Ishikawa already had a better grasp on the topic than I did. I guess that's fair, considering I spent all this time thinking of what to talk about with him rather than math.
"No problem, Ishikawa-san. I-I've also had fun today."
As I said that, a cheerful grin appeared on his face. It wasn't his usual 'perfect' friendly smile, but a different one. His smile betrayed the excitement of sharing something you love with another person.
"See, studying is great if you put your mind to it!"
He misunderstood what I meant, so I wrily smiled and elaborated.
"No, I meant I had fun talking to you. We should hang out together sometime!"
I left that invitation while leaving the library and waving my hand. My words seemingly surprised Ishikawa a bit as he didn't reply. It felt weirdly nerve-wracking to invite him to hang out, so I ran away as soon as I said what I wanted.
I was surprised at the relative ease with which I managed to say it. For me, going out with a person I barely knew was a first. But for some reason, it didn't feel as difficult as I imagined (even though I still barely managed to).
I want to get to know this person better. That thought dominated my mind. Most likely, that's why it felt natural to invite him.
Well, I guess that could be considered a success? All in all, it was way better than before — And the moment I connected with Ishikawa, I became convinced.
Yes, this is what I want — a group of people whose words I can truly hear and who can hear my words back.
That's why I'm more confident than ever — I'm on the right path! Just wait, Itsuki! I'm winning the bet!
Still, I felt it wasn't as simple as just having fun studying. If Ishikawa Yamada only did what he wanted — why did his usual smile feel so fake? Why was it always the smile of a 'perfect superhuman' and not his childish grin?
I wondered if my initial guess wasn't completely off...
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