Chapter 13:

Double Disappearances Part 1

My Government-Issued Girlfriend Can't Be This Cute!


"I'm ho-ome!"

Silence introduced itself as I shut the front door behind me. A dearth of background noise blanketed my house with an almost ominous vibe.

"Asagiri?" I shouted down the hall, taking off my shoes. No reply.

It's not like I was expecting a stuffed tiger to rush at me or something, but my girlfriend would have usually hurled a slur or two by now. It'd been one week since Noriko's visit, and Asagiri and I had devolved into a troll of a couple—if we weren't already.

I poked my head into our deserted living room and then towards the kitchen. Maybe she's upstairs? Clean countertops and Furbolt's food bowl indicated she'd done chores while I was working at least.

Stairs creaked with every step I took upstairs. Our second floor housed myriads of family photos along the hallway, all peering towards me like memories begging to be relived.

The first door on the left belonged to Asagiri, and formerly to my sister Chidori. She'd texted me yesterday about potential plans for a flashy return home from college for the holidays soon. Maybe I could ask how her relationship is going, since she ended up dating her assigned boyfriend for real.

I turned the crumb-laden doorknob: various Asagiri artifacts lay scattered about in her room. It was like exploring a wild animal's den, being careful to avoid stepping on anything suspicious. There were stray clothes on the floor, snack wrappers, empty cans, and feminine products but no moochy girlfriend in sight.

Huh? Did she go out then? Or . . . Is she in my room?

When she'd first moved in, I mentioned she could chill in my otaku paradise whenever. Not that I actually expected her to do so, but Asagiri sneaked in a while ago to borrow Dominion's Paradise. I'd still been waiting for her thoughts on what she'd read, but I didn't want to bring it up like some desperate fanboy.

I snuck out of her domain and shut the door behind me with more force than intended. As if in response, a cute murmur emanated further down the hall.

Well shit, that came from my room!

I crept along towards the hall's very end, cautious of what to expect. A faint humming made itself apparent as I reached my door, intensifying with a turn and push of the doorknob.

Immediately, I noticed a stark difference in my bed's condition: Asagiri snoring softly had coiled herself around my body pillow that featured an attractive Greek goddess. Very adorably, Asagiri’s sleeping face peeked just over the pillow, accentuating a set of cat ears around her head.

It was a simple sight, but I couldn't help but imagine Noriko when she lay there wearing those exact cat ears, all those years ago.

"Mmm . . . mmphphphur." My girlfriend started stirring, and her sleepy eyes cracked open to meet mine. "Waa? Nishikata? What are ya' doing 'ere?"

"Ummm, this is my room?" I chuckled, approaching the bed. "What are you doing here?"

"Mmhurphhur . . ." She appeared to doze off again, and then quickly awoke. "Oh! I finished the first volume of Dominion's Paradise! I wanted to break the news here, but I fell asleep waiting for you!"

"Sorry I'm late. Had to head somewhere with a coworker after work."

"Cheating on me already? Bet it was with that Asada girl."

"I don't think I'd apply for a government-issued girlfriend if I had any sort of romantic prowess."

"True." Asagiri sat up and stretched, pushing her medium-sized chest out. She was wearing pink, loose-fitting pajamas with a blouse only partially buttoned up. Chunks of tan cleavage beamed into my eyes before she embarrassingly noticed and covered herself.

Play dumb, play dumb. Nonchalant whistling escaped my lips as I looked towards the ceiling.

"Well there goes your fanservice supply for the month," she said, buttoning up her blouse. "Too bad I'm not as big as Noriko though, right?"

"Huh? That doesn't matter at all." I tossed my backpack into a corner and sat in my computer chair. "You're my girlfriend, not her, so no point comparing yourselves."

"Sweet talking won't get you between my legs. Besides, Noriko is married. Should've made your move on her sooner, dummy Nishikata."

"We have a complicated past so it wouldn't have worked out anyway."

"Hmmm . . ." Asagiri stared at me intensely from the bed, then reached up to rub her cat ears. "These things on my head: they wouldn't by any chance have belonged to Noriko before?"

Why does this girl have spontaneous bursts of critical thinking? "W-Well, guess you figured it out. She was supposed to come by for them forever ago, but when I reminded her, she said I could just keep them."

"Oh? You could've asked me to give them back to her."

"Nah, she literally told me they're mine now. Probably doesn't want them back."

"What makes you say that?"

"Your guesses are better than mine . . ." I had some theories, but there were still things I didn't feel comfortable telling Asagiri.

She sighed and bear-hugged my body pillow. Dominion—the green-haired Greek goddess portrayed on the pillow—didn't seem quite as appetizing now that I had an actual girlfriend.

"Hey Nishikata," Asagiri said. "Be honest. If you had to choose between me, Noriko, and Dominion, who would you pick?"

"What's the sudden litmus test for?"

"Just answer."

I combed my hand through my hair in stress, knowing the dangers of this minefield. "Noriko is married, and Dominion isn't real—so naturally, I'd choose you."

"Forgetting who's real and who's married, who would you pick then?"

"Still you."

We both fidgeted in our seats as our flushed faces avoided looking at each other, embarrassed. Asagiri cutely tried hiding herself behind Dominion's body pillow.

Then a tiny set of footsteps broke the silence.

"Nyaa! Nyaa!" Furbolt said as he strutted into my room.

"Cat?" I yelled at him. "Why are you sneaking around?"

"What do you mean 'Cat'?" Asagiri snapped. "You forget his name or something?"

Crap. Brain fart moment. "Nah, Cat was his placeholder name before I settled on Furbolt. Just got confused for a second."

Furbolt's tail wagged affectionately, as if it liked hearing its new name much more than its old.

A finger shot out and Asagiri pointed at me. "Yeah! That's another thing I came here to ask! Why did you name your cat after a panther kitten from Dominion's Paradise?"

"I mean, it's a better name than Cat, right?"

"You work at a bookstore! How are you so creatively bankrupt?"

"Is it wrong to name my cat after something I like?"

"Well no, but coming from you it's just cringe."

Furbolt hopped onto the bed and snuggled in with Asagiri. Her gentle fingers stroked his black fur.

Zap her, boy! Show your true power!

The old cat surrendered to the temptation of Asagiri's touch and purred with every rub. 

Traitor! Lucky bastard! Should've been me!

"Hmm? Bet ya' wish this was you, huh?" my girlfriend smugly looked towards me.

"Pfffff, as if."

Furbolt flipped over and revealed his tummy to her, allowing even more spoiling. I couldn't help but feel utterly defeated.

"Oh, by the way," Asagiri's blue eyes glanced in my direction, "about Noriko: when we were cooking together last week, she told me a bit about your past together."

Shit, I didn't even consider their conversation! If she tries to cross-reference our stories, I might get caught in a lie! "R-Really? What did she mention then?"

"Not much more than I already knew, but she did say one interesting thing."

"Which is?"

Asagiri tossed Dominion aside and sat over the bed's edge. "That you two just started chatting again recently, like a year or two ago. So—how'd it feel to suddenly find out your hot childhood friend got married?"

Careful, careful. "Uhhh, no comment?"

"Heh. The timeline seems about right for when you might've started considering a government-issued girlfriend. Were you distraught at all?"

No way could I confess that Noriko's reappearance and then disappearance again were the catalysts of several events, which triggered my slow descent into nihilism. Asagiri saved me from that darkness, just like I saved Noriko from her own—but who knew when mine would resurface again.

"My wallet was more distraught when I learned how moochy you were," I said with a straight face. "Guess we're stuck with each other now though."

"Yup, you drew the short stick honestly. There were lots of other pretty, eager girls in the academy hoping to be matched up with a good man."

"Matched up?"

"What, you thought those application qualifications were just a formality?" She looked offended. "Nahhh. We knew that every guy who passed the screenings was husband material; just a matter of seeing if their looks or personality were fugly."

"The selection process is randomized for you girls too though, right?"

"Yup. We can't just pick our ideal sugar daddies, unfortunately. But even if it's a fake relationship—if the stars aligned right—I don't think any girl would mind going steady for real with the right guy."

"Chidori is the walking example." I sank further into my chair. "But she's a bit more open to certain things, so it's not surprising."

Asagiri shot me a serious look. "Did she tell you anything peculiar about the GiG program?"

"Not really, no?"

"Good. Let's just say there's one thing we absolutely cannot divulge to anyone, especially our clients."

"Now you got me curious."

"Too bad. Curiosity killed the cat!" She lifted and tucked Furbolt into her arms. "Probably wanna chat about Dominion's Paradise, right? Let's talk about that then—instead of government secrets."

"Oh yeah, I'm wondering about your fave characters and stuff." Would it be the heroic protagonist Daichi? Or the gorgeous cleric Sanae? Maybe someone else from the guild?

"Interrogate me downstairs then because I'm hungry." She stood up with my cat then heaved herself towards the door. "M-Maybe we gotta feed Furbolt a bit less too."

"Hey, you're the one fattening him up. Now he follows you everywhere."

"Nyaaa!" Furbolt happily replied.

"Time for a diet, mister," Asagiri pouted. Her cute face tried looking intimidating. 

"N-N-Nyaa?"

The duo made their way out and down the hallway.

With a sigh, I lifted myself off the chair then checked my phone. Earlier, I'd gone shopping with Nemoto after work to help him pick out new computer parts. He said he'd text me if he needed any extra help, but my inbox was as empty as my trash can.

Wait, did Asagiri take out my trash? I peered into it again: a void-like emptiness stared back towards me. I'd meant to take it out today, but the sleeping pill bottle I tossed last week would've probably still been near the top. If Asagiri by chance saw that . . .

I pushed the thought away. My mind was busy enough trying to understand Noriko returning into my life a second time, after months of no contact and ignoring my texts. One year ago, when we finally reunited after the bridge incident, it was like she was a completely different person—not to mention married. I was thankful she freed herself from DeLightful ideals, but now it seemed like something else had taken root.

The future was still uncertain, and there wasn't time for hesitation.

I stood up and ran towards a new destiny downstairs.

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