Intermission One-Shot Chapter - Baby Hayden's Adventure

Author's Note: I'm back to posting this story on the internet after a 6-month hiatus. This is the first of a handful of intermission chapters before I begin posting the continuation that starts with Chapter 575.

BTS One-Shot - Baby Hayden’s Adventure

Author's Note: The following One Shot is about humor rather than the story or lore of BTS but it should not be read until after finishing the main BTS1 series (Chapter 574).

Narrator: Inside the home of Zeth and Sasha in Heaven over 50,000 years after The Final Great Chaos and not long after their first child, Hayden, was born.

*Sasha is standing and faces Josh (Her younger brother. He has Dark Divine Eyes, mostly flat black hair that is shoulder length and goes down the sides of his head a bit too, and he is wearing casual clothes.) Sasha is wearing a green dress and high heels, but otherwise, her appearance is normal*

Sasha: Now listen, little brother. This is a serious job for you. Zeth is at a meeting in the Great Magic Underworld. Harmona has invited us women for a girls’ night out in the Lunar City Underworld so I’m counting on you to do a good job babysitting Hayden. (Author’s Note: It’s always night in the Lunar City Underworld)

Josh: Yeah, I understand.

Sasha: You better. Don’t treat this as some chance to impress a girl with your child handling skills and invite one over.

Josh: I won’t.

Sasha: Anyway, there is some other information for you to know. I just breastfed him so he should be good on that but, just in case, I’ve left some bottles in the kitchen.

Josh: Got it.

Sasha: If he needs more blankets, there are some clean ones I put in the hall closet.

Josh: Got it.

Sasha: I’ve left diapers and his pajamas on the end table in our master bedroom.

Josh: Got it.

Sasha: And one of the most important pieces of information is that he is adventurous so make sure you constantly keep watch over him.

Josh: Got it.

*Sasha gets in Josh’s face with a sadistic look*

Sasha: You better get it. If something happens to my baby, I’m going to tear out your intestines and strangle you with them.

*Josh looks scared and nods his head yes continuously*

Josh: I promise nothing will happen to Hayden!

Sasha: Good.

*Sasha then picks up Hayden (Who has his mother’s Dark Divine Eyes. He has blonde hair but it has thick dark shading.) from the chair he is lying on and looks at him. She has a loving mother look on her face*

Sasha: Awww, who is my baby that is the cutest baby out there? That’s right, it’s you. It’s you. It’s absolutely you. Come on, let’s put you in your crib so you can take a nap.

*Hayden makes happy noises as Sasha takes him to the master bedroom to put him in his crib*

*Sasha comes out of the master bedroom and looks at Josh*

Sasha: I’m leaving now. I expect you to be able to handle it but if you need any advice, give Diamond or Pearl a call.

Josh: They’re not going with you to the girls’ night out?

Sasha: They declined to go this time as they considered their work right now to be essential. All right, I will be back later tonight. Hayden’s bedtime is 8:30 so don’t forget it. I will be back soon after that.

*Sasha opens the front door and goes through*

Josh: Bye, big sis.

*Josh looks around*

Josh: Adventurous? Come on. He’s a baby. He can’t even walk yet.

*Josh puts a bag of popcorn in the microwave and then grabs the TV remote*

Josh: Let’s see what movies are on. Wait, they have Hevflix? Sweet.

*Josh starts looking through the movies and then settles on one*

Josh: This movie will do.

*Josh grabs the popcorn from the microwave and pours it into a bowl. He goes to sit on the couch and watch his movie while eating popcorn*

*Josh continues to have a good time watching the movie and he even starts laughing at what is happening in it*

***

Narrator: 30 minutes later.

Josh: Well, I guess I better go check up on the kid.

*Josh pauses the movie and goes to check in on Hayden. Hayden is still asleep in his crib*

Josh: He’s still asleep. Good.

*Josh walks back to the couch and sits on it once again as he goes back to watching his movie. However, while he watches the movie, Hayden wakes up*

***

Narrator: Another 30 minutes pass.

Josh: Time to check on him again.

*Josh goes into the master bedroom. When he goes in there, his eyes open wide in shock. Hayden is not in the crib*

Josh: Oh no!

*Josh then sees some stuff is knocked over and there is a baby-sized hole in the glass of the window*

Josh: What the hell!!?

*Josh opens the window and sticks his head out to look around outside. He doesn’t see Hayden and then his face starts to look pale with dread*

*Josh runs to grab his phone and starts dialing a number*

Josh: Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit!!!

*Answering on the other end is Diamond*

Diamond: Hello?

Josh: Listen, Diamond, I need you and Pearl over here at my sister’s place immediately!

Diamond: You’re babysitting Hayden, right!? What happened!?

Josh: There’s no time to explain! Just get over here now!

Diamond: On my way!

***

Narrator: A bit later.

*Josh opens the front door to see Diamond and Pearl*

Diamond: What do you mean Prince Hayden escaped!?

Pearl: That’s not good!

Josh: Yes, I know that! That’s why we have to find him!

Diamond: Oh goddess! Lady Sasha is going to murder us!! She is going to throw us in her torture chambers!!

*Diamond faints and falls to the ground on her back*

Pearl: Oh no, you can’t faint now!

*Josh starts shaking her body continuously*

Josh: Yeah, so wake up, damn it!

*Diamond does wake up and then immediately slaps Josh*

Diamond: It’s your damn fault! I promise you this, you will never babysit again, Josh!

Pearl: Let’s find that baby!

*The three of them begin searching around the outdoor areas of Heaven. Eventually, they find Hayden and see that he is crawling toward the pad that takes people down to Earth*

Josh: There he is!

Diamond: Don’t let him get on that pad!

*They start running toward Hayden but are too late as the pad teleports Hayden down to Earth*

Pearl: We have to get in that teleportation before it ends or we won’t be able to find him!

*They reach the teleportation just as it ends. After teleporting, they find themselves on Earth in an area that is on a high elevation in the woods*

Diamond: Where is he now!?

*They see him in the distance ahead crawling forward*

Josh: He’s just a baby! How does he get so far ahead of us!?

Pearl: Wait! He’s headed toward the edge of a cliff!!

*Josh’s eyes look like they are going to pop out of his head as he feels fear*

Josh: Aaahhhhh!!!!

*They run after him, but he falls off the cliff edge before they get to him*

Josh: Noooo!!!!

*Josh pictures in his head Sasha tearing out his intestines and then strangling him with them*

Josh: She’s going to kill me!

Pearl: Wait! Look!

*Just a foot below the cliff edge is another cliff edge and Hayden is crawling along it*

Diamond: Thank goodness. Let’s get him!

*They attempt to grab Hayden but Josh trips over a rock. Josh’s trip causes him to fall on Diamond and Pearl and they all fall over the cliff edge down a great height*

Josh, Diamond, and Pearl: Aaaaahhhhh!!

*Hayden continues happily crawling*

Diamond: What did you do!!?

Josh: I tripped!

Pearl: But now we have to get back up there to find the baby!

*They soon get back to the top of the cliff but don’t see the baby anymore*

Diamond: We lost him again!

Pearl: Where could he have gone!?

***

Narrator: In a nearby town.

*Cars pass through a road every now and then. Hayden is crawling toward the road. He soon crawls onto the right lane of the road but stops when he sees a butterfly in front of him. He looks at it happily*

*A car is being driven on that lane heading toward where Hayden is. Hayden stops looking at the butterfly and instead looks at the car. The driver doesn’t see Hayden until it’s too late. He can’t avoid Hayden in time. Hayden smiles as the car is about to hit him. He tries to pat the car as it reaches him. However, when Hayden’s hand hits the car, the force of his hand is powerful enough that it sends the car flying back toward an old gas station with no people currently there. The driver dives out of his car in the process. When the car hits the gas station, it causes a large explosion*

*Josh, Diamond, and Pearl see this all happen as they arrive*

Josh: Are you kidding me!?

*The explosion causes power lines to start falling over. Fires caused by exploding gas travel along the power lines and start spreading the fire to other places in the town. Soon, the fire has spread to most of the town*

*Josh finally is able to grab Hayden*

Josh: Gotcha, you little monster.

*Josh, Diamond, and Pearl then look at the state of the town and just have their mouths wide open as they look at the ruin Hayden has brought to it*

Josh: Is this real life?

Diamond: How could a baby… cause so much destruction?

Pearl: Well, he does have the blood of Lord Zeth and Lady Sasha running through his veins. That is some powerful blood.

*Diamond starts freaking out*

Diamond: Great! Now regardless of what happens with Hayden, Lady Sasha is still going to throw us in her torture chambers for this!

*Pearl nervously smiles*

Pearl: I’m sure she will understand since we will have brought back Prince Hayden unharmed.

Diamond: Fool! She will tear out our insides just for the fact of letting Hayden escape from the house in the first place!

Josh: Well, all we can do is hope for the best! Let’s get this kid back home.

***

Narrator: Later.

*They get back to Zeth’s and Sasha’s house in Heaven*

Diamond: Okay, quick! We have to get Prince Hayden cleaned up, fed, and then put to bed! All right, I will give him a bath! Pearl, you prepare his bottles! And Josh…

*Josh interrupts her*

Josh: Just so you know, the kid broke the window on his way out.

Diamond: What!!!?!?!?!? Get a new window put in!

Josh: How the hell do you expect me to do that!?

Diamond: Call the window people!

Josh: They’re not going to be able to do it right away!

Diamond: Tell them it’s an emergency!!

Josh: All right, all right. Jeez.

*Diamond takes Hayden to the bathroom*

Diamond: Get those bottles prepared, Pearl!

Pearl: I’m on it!

*Diamond puts Hayden in the bath with a low level of water and starts washing him*

Diamond: Thankfully, you didn’t poop your diaper during all this. You see, we don’t want your mother to kill us.

*Hayden playfully laughs*

Diamond: You think that is funny, huh? Well, it’s not. That’s right, we’re gonna hide all the evidence that you ever left this place.

*Hayden still playfully laughs*

Diamond: If this wasn’t a life-or-death situation, I would talk about how cute you are.

*Soon, Pearl comes in with a bottle in hand*

Pearl: I got a bottle ready.

Diamond: Great. Now leave it on the counter and go get his clean pajamas and diapers.

Pearl: Okay!

*Meanwhile, Josh watches a couple of male angels take out the broken window*

Josh: I’m so glad you guys were able to come immediately.

Male Angel 1: I know you said it was an emergency so what is the emergency?

Josh: My sister’s baby escaped and if she finds out that he did, there is going to be hell.

Male Angel 2: Oh shit! Lady Sasha’s wrath is really scary! We better get this new window in fast!

Josh: You’re damn right! She said she would tear out my intestines and strangle me with them if something happens to Hayden! My life is on the line here!

*The broken window is now taken out and they begin putting in the new window*

Male Angel 1: You can count on us!

*Pearl comes in*

Pearl: Where are Hayden’s pajamas and diapers?

Josh: They’re on the end table in here.

Pearl: Thanks!

*Pearl grabs the pajamas and diapers and leaves the room. Josh looks at the time*

Josh: Crap, it’s 8:36. Big sis will be back at any time. Please hurry.

*By 8:54, the new window has been installed. Diamond and Pearl enter the master bedroom with Hayden wearing his pajamas*

Pearl: Prince Hayden is all ready for sleep.

Diamond: And I see the new window has been installed. Good.

*Diamond lays Hayden in his crib where he falls asleep*

Josh: You’ve had a long day. You sure caused us a lot of trouble too.

Diamond: Well, we made it. All the evidence is gone.

*They hear the front door open*

Josh: She’s back.

*They go to greet Sasha in the family room. She is still wearing the green dress and high heels but she starts taking off the high heels*

Josh: Welcome back. Did you have fun?

Sasha: Yes, I did. I see Diamond and Pearl ended up coming over to help you.

Diamond: Yep, everything went smoothly.

Sasha: Oh good. I had my doubts, Josh, but you pulled through.

*Sasha heads to the master bedroom*

Diamond: It’s been fun but I think we should head out.

Pearl: Yes, we have things we need to… address.

*Pearl pictures the town on fire in her head*

*Before they are able to leave, Sasha comes out of the master bedroom smiling but there is anger underneath that smile*

Sasha: What happened to my baby?

*Josh, Diamond, and Pearl all look nervous and gulp*

Diamond: W-Whatever do you mean?

Sasha: You see, I was looking at my baby and then my maternal instincts started going off, and that lead to me finding this small piece of grass in his left ear.

*Sasha holds up the index finger on her left hand and there is a very small piece of grass on it*

*Diamond is shocked*

Diamond: (Thinking) That’s so small, I didn’t even see it while I was cleaning Hayden! She was able to discover a piece of grass that small in his ear!? Just how strong are her maternal instincts!?

*Sasha again smiles with anger underneath it*

Sasha: Care to explain?

Diamond: Well, you see, uh, umm, it’s not what you think.

*Sasha’s smile disappears and now only her anger is showing on her face*

Sasha: You lost my baby from this house! Didn’t you!? Josh, I told you he was adventurous! You failed at your job!

*Sasha starts walking toward them with a sadistic expression. Josh starts rapidly waving his arms horizontally as he pleads*

Josh: Wait, sis! I’m sure we can talk this out!

Pearl: Y-Yes, Lady Sasha! We got him back completely unharmed!

*Sasha doesn’t stop walking toward them and she sadistically giggles as she does. Josh, Diamond, and Pearl scream in fear*

***

Narrator: The next day.

*Zeth walks in through the front door*

Zeth: I’m home— What?

*Zeth sees Sasha holding Hayden on the couch while Josh, Diamond, and Pearl are dusting and cleaning things around the family room*

*Sasha smiles*

Sasha: Welcome back, honey.

*Zeth looks confused*

Zeth: Sorry, the meeting lasted so late that I decided to stay the night there. What exactly is going on here?

Sasha: These three needed to be punished, so now I am temporarily making them my servants.

Diamond: Uhggg.

Josh: At least she didn’t tear out our intestines and strangle us with them.

Pearl: And she took us off our normal duties so we could do this. So that’s nice.

Josh: (Narrating) And so, we were punished by my big sis for letting Hayden escape. And in case you were wondering what became of the town that was on fire, torrential rains started falling soon after the fires started so it was put out quickly for the most part. Only minor injuries were reported. Well, I guess I better get back to work or big sis really will tear out my intestines and strangle me with them.

BTS One Shot END

Author's Note: Although this chapter has no point in the grand scheme of the story, I just wanted to try writing a humorous chapter for once. I honestly can't even remember when exactly I wrote it. I feel like it was in early 2019 but it could also have been late 2018.