I give up

Can you reach your goals if you try hard enough? I fervently believed that you don't need any kind of special talent to be able to achieve your dreams, just put your heart in and work hard every day. How naive I was.

I love soccer, it’s one of the most wonderful things that man invented. It’s so easy to play that only two healthy legs and a ball are enough to have hours of fun with your friends or alone.

There are precious stories in this sport; characters who have radically changed their lives just by knowing how to kick the ball correctly. Men who came from the most remote corners of the world and today are world stars that shine on all continents.

Even without a moving story, great footballers were also born from the upper echelons of society and reached glory. Football does not care if you are rich or poor, what nationality you are, what religion you profess or what your sex is.

I had a dream: To become one of the best soccer players in the world. Sounds typical, right? What is important is how you strive to achieve that goal. I can say with some pride that I did it.

For as long as I can remember, I have dedicated my entire life to perfecting my game: I trained every day, ate correctly, listened carefully to my coaches and even studied tactics in the matches I watched on TV. My life was 100% football. How did life reward me? With an anterior cruciate ligament injury that kept me out of the field for a year.

Almost two years have passed since my injury. I was playing in the semifinals of the most important middle school tournament at the national level. We were up against the clear favorites to win the trophy, the rival team had the best striker of all: Renato Maia. I had faced him a couple of times, and although in theory we have the same position, it seems that we are playing something else. He is the most incredible striker I have ever come up against: he dribbles, assists and scores goals of all kinds, he does everything well. His only flaw (if you can call it that) is his arrogance. Throughout the game he does not stop insulting you, he reminds you of the times he beat you one-on-one, he celebrates you when he scores shamelessly. The guy is definitely disgusting.

Everyone who played against Renato ended up wishing they would never meet him again, but the complete opposite happened to me: he motivated me. At halftime of that game we finished tied 1-1. Renato scored the first and I managed to score for our team. It was my first time scoring against Maia, and I felt that this would be the day I would finally get over it, rise victorious against my self-proclaimed rival and finally reach a new level as a soccer player. In the 60' minute of the game, from midfield my teammate sent a long pass to the right wing, it was difficult to reach, but if I ran fast enough I could reach the ball and create an important goal opportunity.

I ran with all my being to prevent the ball from going off the wing. I ran, ran… and I stopped running. I felt terrible pain in my right knee. As if a thousand needles had been stuck directly into my skin. I couldn't support my leg, I needed my teammates to help me get off the soccer field. In the end I got to see the doctor, and well... it's all over.

1 year of rehab, in and out of the hospital. When I healed, the doctor explained to me and my parents that the injury could recur and even worsen if I continued to play soccer consistently. That did not matter to me, I knew that football was the reason for my existence. My parents knew it too, and so, although they were still worried about my future, they didn't stop me when I tried to play again. The problem was that a year is a long time. The coach explained to me that I could no longer return to the team because all the places were taken. That disappointed me, but I still kept going.

I spent the afternoons training alone, trying to find the rhythm I had lost and hoping to get back to my best level. But there is no way to fool yourself, I quickly realized that I was no longer the same.

The worst thing that can happen to a soccer player is to lose confidence, and that happened to me. I had no rhythm, I couldn't control the ball properly, I got tired easily and the worst of all was when I tried to run: I was terrified of injuring myself again. Day after day the love I had for soccer turned to terror, and then to hate. After a few months I gave up. I'm sorry to admit it, but it's the truth.

I haven't watched a football game since then, I haven't tried to play sports once. I have tried to fill the void I feel with other activities: video games, music, movies, books... none of that has worked. I am a ghost that wanders aimlessly through life.

Despite how I am sentimentally, today my new school life begins. I managed to get accepted into one of the best schools in the country thanks to my performance in the entrance exams. I'm not talented enough to be called a genius, but I'm very good at memorizing things. In a digital world, this skill has lost its value, but it is always very useful when taking exams.

“Are you ready to start your new school life? I couldn't sleep from the excitement”

The person coming towards me was my best friend, Leonel. He is responsible for the fact that I still have a little desire to continue living. He has been with me since we were children, I have spent with him the best and worst moments of life. I thank whoever God is for putting him in my path.

“I read in a book that only idiots have insomnia.”

Of course, all the love I have for him I keep only for myself.

“Come on, don't be bitter. You will see that your first day at the Golden School will be memorable.”

The Golden School, that's where we're going. Its full name is the Golden School of Science & Sports. Founded barely a decade ago, this school has totally revolutionized education in the country with its innovative curriculum. You can access it in 3 ways:

1. Being one of the best scores in the entrance exam

2. Obtaining a sports scholarship

3. Obtaining a scholarship through a project of any scientific branch.

I, of course, got into this school thanks to my memorization ability, and managed to get one of the best scores in the entrance exam. Leonel, for his part, will be part of the soccer team that represents the institution. He earned his sports scholarship thanks to his incredible ability as a central defender. Couldn't be more proud of him. If anyone has worked his whole life to improve in soccer is this man. His admission into the Golden School makes me believe that there is still justice in life, and it's not total bullshit that punishes random people like it did to me.

We walked for a long time to get to school. It was easier to take the bus, but Leonel insisted that I should exercise to return to the physical condition I had before the injury. I told him it wasn't necessary, but the boy is stubborn and he wouldn't take no for an answer. He was still hoping that I would get into the football club.

Even if you are not part of the team that will represent the school in the different competitions and tournaments, as a rule of the Golden School you must sign up for a Science or Sports club. I had thought about it long enough, and I decided that I would sign up for some science club. I still couldn't decide which one, since none of them caught my attention at all, but it was clear that I wouldn't waste any more time of my life on soccer.

When we got to the school, the first and most important moment of the day began: we had to look at the list of groups. Since elementary school I have shared a classroom with Leonel. I don't want to admit it, but I am socially dependent on my best friend. It's not that I can't communicate effectively with people, but he's the one always in charge of starting conversations with other people, getting everyone together for lunch breaks, and planning outings to different places to have fun. Leonel is like my personal secretary, in charge of managing all my appointments and events. If we were to get separated... no, I don't want to imagine that scenario.