Throwing the Umbrella Into the Rain

"There are times when Haruko will act irrationally. It's at those times when she is least likely to be acting in self-interest."

Sato's explanation served nothing but to further confuse me; Haruko had only ever acted irrationally. Still, I thanked her.

When I got back to class, everyone was packing up their lunches, and the desk behind me was empty. Haruko only reappeared when classes started. This time, she seemed to be ignoring me in return.

What if I ignored my parents? I shuddered. The mere thought of opposing my dad sent a deathly chill down my spine. The magnitude of his expectations weighed down on me, hard. Why did I need to do so well in school? Couldn't graduating be enough for him? Did my social life need to be under his control, too? Still, I couldn't do anything about it. Sato didn't have any ideas, and neither did I. What the hell am I going to do?

The rest of the day turned out to be excruciatingly long. As soon as class ended, Haruko slipped away without saying a word. I was slow to pack my things, and when I finally dragged my feet into the hallway, I found Takamoto leaning his head against the shoe lockers.

"Get rejected or something?" I asked.

Takamoto whipped his neck around when he heard me. "None of your business."

None of my business?

His eyes intensified. "Sorry—No, nothing like that. Someone asked me a question, that's all." He pulled his hand along his arm. "What about you? You've been low energy all day, haven't you? Is it the weather?"

"The weather?"

He looked at me strange. "The rain…?"

A cacophonous roar of water falling against the roof pushed itself into my conscious mind. Was it raining this hard a second ago?

"You did notice the rain, right? Something going on?" Takamoto asked.

"Well, sort of…" I glanced behind me. "Have you ever been told to do something you didn't wanna do?"

"Yeah, obviously. It happens all the time." Takamoto leaned down to fiddle with his shoelace.

"It does?"

"Of course, it's important to always do the right thing." He stood and carefully placed his school shoes in the locker, one at a time. "Regardless of how much you want to or not."

"Uhm, yeah. Sure. But how do you know when it's the right thing to do?"

"You just know." He slammed his locker shut. "It's important to do what's good and what's right. That's why I'm often helping others even though I don't want to."

"Hold on, what? You don't have to help others if you don't want to. Are you talking about the stuff in class?"

Outside, the rain pounded against the veranda. Do I even have an umbrella?

"It's really coming down, isn't it?" Takamoto said.

"Yeah, whatever. When you're helping people in class, you do it even though you don't want to?" I asked.

"Yes, exactly."

"You know you don't have to, right?"

"Of course I do, it's only right."

"No. Takamoto, you don't."

His face switched from his regular pleasant expression to one of genuine frustration. "Yes. You do. What don't you understand about that?"

I stumbled a step back. "Oh, I'm—I'm sorry. I didn't realize it was so important to you."

"Of course, you didn't realize," he muttered under his breath, "imbecile."

Huh? Takamoto?

He scoffed and shook his head. "What? What's the problem? Am I ruining your finely crafted view of me? Is that such a deal-breaker for you?"

"What? What are you talking about?" The rain came down harder.

"Is it that difficult for you to understand? God, you're clueless."

"Takamoto? Are you okay?"

"With all the people who make it their mission to use me, you're the one who pisses me off the most. Isn't that funny? Talking to me every single day about those fucking video games."

Are my ears working right now?

"You couldn't take a hint, could you? Instead, I'm forced to watch as you run around all day, doing whatever you please. Do you even know how envious that makes me feel? Each day you run out at lunch and I'm forced to stay behind, while idiots of lesser intelligence seek my wisdom." he said.

"Uhm."

"You don't even have an umbrella, do you?"

"Uhh. I don't think I do."

He dug through his bag and pulled out one of those tiny retractable umbrellas. "Goes to show the difference in our pedigree. Since it's the right thing to do, I will allow you to borrow my own."

"What? Didn't you just say you hate me?"

"Take it." He shoved the umbrella in my direction.

"No, I don't want it."

"Take it!" he yelled.

"Would you stop? Seriously, what's going on with you?"

"Take the damn umbrella!" He pushed it against my chest. "You have to!"

"I don't want your stupid umbrella!" Fumbling with the handle in my arms, I took hold of the bundled-up canopy and threw it against the ground. The cheap plastic cracked against the floor and rolled towards Takamoto's feet. I readied myself to get soaked, but before I could rush off into the rain, Takamoto burst out laughing.

"Okay, seriously, what is going on?" I spun to face him.

"How do you do that? I told you to do something you didn't want to do, and you denied me as if it were nothing. You threw my token of kindness on the ground. Why is that so easy for you? Yet, you have the audacity to ask me? ME?"

"I have no clue what you're talking about, Takamoto."

"God, will you pay attention? I'm telling you that you've already got your answer. You did it just now. When someone tells you to do something you don't want to do, for you, it's simple: You don't do it."

"Well yeah, it's going to be simple when we're talking about an umbrella."

"Then why should it be any more difficult when it's not the umbrella? For me, it's just as hard whether it's an umbrella or someone asking me to—" Takamoto let out a guttural groan. He crouched down and grabbed the umbrella from his feet. With a short run-up towards the edge of the walkway, he flung it as far into the rain as he could manage.

"Someone asking you… what?"

The boy shifted his gaze to me, wordless. The rain looked as if it were curving around the edge of the veranda, only where he stood. His hair was soaked.

"You don't want to do it?" I asked.

He nodded. His feet struggled to hold his body and he slid down onto his knees.

I rushed to his side.

Whatever someone had asked of him, it was as if the weight of their expectations were physically dragging him to the floor. His body limp and clothes soaked through. Expectations.

"I'm okay. I'll be fine," he said.

"You don't have to do everything you're told, you know that, right?"

"No, you're wrong. I… I do."

"God, would you shut up? If you don't wanna do it, don't do it. Especially this."

Takamoto glanced up at me. He grabbed hold of my arm and I supported his weight enough for him to stand.

"So, did I help answer your question?" he asked.

I nearly dropped him to the floor. "That's not what's important right now. Jeez, there are some things you need to say no to."

"No," he said.

I chuckled. "Not now, idiot."

The nurse's office was close enough that a quick health checkup would be well worth it. Good thing too, since Takamoto was dehydrated. Turns out he was so distracted he'd forgotten about water entirely. My stomach grumbled at me. Oh yeah, I skipped lunch.

But that wasn't the only realization Takamoto had helped me come to. And for the other one, I needed to find Haruko. Good thing I knew where she would be.