Miracle

The clubroom. That's where I would find Haruko.

Why? Because Sato would need help cleaning her typewriter.

Even though nothing guaranteed Haruko would visit the club. Even though nothing guaranteed Sato would ask for help. Even though none of it was a guarantee. I knew that was where I would find Haruko.

The static constant of rainfall against the school's roof drowned out all other sounds. The sign labelled CLUBS THIS WAY loomed above me and a sheer wall of rain blocked the exit. I could only barely make out the silhouettes of the club buildings in the distance.

Students with after-school activities continued to buzz around. Some would run into the rain without hesitation as if their only concern were a wet pair of pants. For me, it felt as if the consequences would be far more severe than a drenched school uniform.

Still, only the rain stood in my way. And yet somehow, it felt like my feet were glued to the ground. I brought my full attention to one foot and closed my eyes. I peeled my heel from the tiled floor and cobwebs stretched out from beneath it. A bombardment of raindrops hit against the toe of my shoe; I flinched. People must be looking at me like I'm an idiot right now.

At the rate I was going, Haruko would be gone well before I made it out the door, let alone reached the clubroom. One more step. If all I needed was one more step, I'm sure I could manage.

I forced my other foot past the doorway. The rain soaked my hair and a familiar sight of Takamoto falling to his knees replayed in my head as an inevitability.

I could feel each drop of water falling towards the earth, hitting against the dirt, digging into the soil, mixing to form mud where it could. Visions of my feet stuck in the ground seeped through my mind. Was one more step even possible?

You can't do it, my dad's voice circled me. I could imagine him saying those words. He would see my struggle, and take full advantage of it. Pointing to the dirt where my feet were planted, yelling: This is where you belong! All the while spinning his web.

But my dad wasn't there. Neither was my mom. It was me, alone, standing in the rain. Instead of wallowing and hiding my tears in circumstance, it was time to run. It was time to decide. A familiar thumping played out in my chest. It didn't want me to move. But then, I did.

My legs shot into motion, unobstructed, lifting themselves off the ground. An explosive burn warmed me from within, the rain evaporating as it hit me. I could feel my clothes drying against the char of my skin, each step landing directly in the middle of a puddle. It turned out I didn't even have to worry about getting wet.

I veered around a corner and locked my eyes on the club's doorway from a distance. Each impact of my feet into the dirt reverberated up into my knees, distracting me so I couldn't worry about the words I might say. I'd have to trust they would come.

My hand fired towards the door, nearly ripping the latch from its housing. A familiar shocked expression greeted me from the inside. A hoodless Sato stood in the clubroom alone, next to a shimmering bronze typewriter.

"She just left. You'll catch her if you—"

Without giving myself time to mutter a thank you, I bolted. My heart was unreasonably unstable, and not only because of the running. For Sato to take one look at me and immediately get the idea, I must've looked like a desperate mess… Oh, whatever. What do I care?

I darted out the school gates. My feet slipped against the thin film of water on the sidewalk, forcing me to the ground. My scraped palms stung, pushing against the concrete to stand. Haruko, where are you?

My eyes focused as far as they could through the rain. Scanning the sidewalks for any figure I could see. But I ran passed everyone. None of them had her signature stride.

I was closing in on the train station when I spotted someone standing in the middle of a bridge; the bridge over the rushing Arakawa River. It headed opposite to the station. From this distance, I couldn't tell if it was Haruko, all I could make out through the row of trees lining the riverside was the figure's arms above their head.

Detouring off the path, I cut across the soaked grass until my feet were planted firmly on the bridge. In front of me, Haruko stared into the rain with her arms raised up to the sky, spread out wide like a preacher.

Struggling to catch my breath, the world around me spun. Good thing I hadn't eaten lunch, it would've come up right there.

"Haruko!" I yelled through the rain.

There was no response. She only stared up at the clouds. Raindrops splashed against her face, eyes shut tight as water caught against her eyelashes and dripped down her cheek. Pooling at her ear, breaking tension, and slipping down her neck to follow the rest of the rain, drenching her shirt.

I was about to yell out again, or race up to her, or do something, but that's when I witnessed a small miracle. The clouds above her arms parted and a ray of sunlight cast directly into my eyes. I glanced up at the sky, and the sun forced a squint. When my gaze returned to Haruko, she was already staring back at me.

"Hey, uhm—"

"You're covered in mud," she said.

I looked down at my uniform to verify her claim. "Yeah…"

"I'm only standing here 'cause I saw the clouds parting in the first place."

"Right."

"What do you want?"

"I'm sorry, about earlier."

"Apology accepted," she said. "But you're going to need to explain yourself."

"It's kind of embarrassing."

"Doesn't bother me."

That's not really how embarrassment works.

"Out with it," she said.

"Well…" The tart tinge of regret spilled out with my next words. "My parents aren't exactly supportive. And… I don't think they know enough about you to try and tell me who I can and can't talk to."

"Oh."

"So, I'm sorry."

"You don't have to apologize twice." She leaned against the edge of the bridge. I spotted the same silver pair of scissors dangling between her fingers. "I got the idea the first time."

"Right."

Haruko peered out onto the river. Her eyes reflected the moving water, more solemn than I'd ever seen them before.

I was missing something. But what? I said what I wanted to say, didn't I? I apologized, and I made up with Haruko. So why is my body still shaking? I ran all the way here to accept the kind of life where I didn't have to listen to my parents' every command, didn't I? I can't push this situation any further, so why do I feel so unsatisfied? Think, you idiot! Think! There has to be something.

"I'm going home. I'll see you on Monday." Haruko's lips formed a smile.

Think already! What was I still missing? There had to be something. There had to—Haruko's smile. That's when I noticed, it wasn't quite the same as before. It felt fabricated. No, forced. There wasn't that regular hint of mischievous intent, nor that warming quality. Why not?

"See ya," I said.

Hold on, brain. I haven't figured it out yet! Who told you to say goodbye? I'm not done here. Give me another minute and I'm sure I could figure this out. If only I had something to write on. I'd lay it all out and the solution would come to me in an instant. I promise. It would!

Haruko nodded and began to walk off.

That was the reality of things, I didn't have the luxury of time. I had to say something.

"Haruko wait! There's… one other thing."

She stopped, without turning to face me.

"I met this person. A girl." Oh God, that sounds cheesy. "Actually, it was you. Uhm. Anyways, I didn't really understand you at first. And you would say such crazy things. And there were more than a few misunderstandings. But, over time, I've realized: That was what made you so interesting."

Haruko stood motionless.

I took a deep breath. "I never got to thank you for all the fun we had on our… well, our dates. At least, I think the second one was a date." I left a long pause, she didn't even breathe. "You know, there was this one thing you used to say."

Her foot shifted in my direction.

"You used to say you were God. At first, it got on my nerves. But after a bit, I got used to it. And recently, you stopped pretending entirely. I can't figure out why, but it hurt."

Haruko fully turned to face me, still and silent as the breeze.

"Haruko, if you don't want to pretend to be God anymore, you don't have to. That's not the reason I had fun on our date. And… " I closed my eyes and held my breath for what felt like an eternity. "I don't know if you remember, but I owe you a secret."

Her eyelids narrowed and her chest puffed up like she had something to say.

"I'd like to… go on another date." My heart faltered. "With you."

"What the hell are you talking about?" she snapped.

Her words, like a sharp knife, plunged into my gut. "Huh? I… I mean, you can say no, I just—"

Her hands flailed around to shut me up. She wasn't holding her scissors anymore. "I'm not pretending! I am God. Being God isn't the kind of deal that changes on a whim!"

"What?"

"Get your head in the game! You're not gonna listen to every little thing I say, are you? I can't stop being God all of a sudden, it doesn't work like that!" Haruko placed both hands on her hips and grinned. Mischievous and warm.

I cracked a smile in return. Haruko was back.