8.2 - The Tunnel (of no escape)

Soon enough, I started to get further disgusted with myself and my depressive state. I mean, it's not like my life was awful, I lived quite comfortably and I was healthy. My school years had majorly sucked, but those were a story of many years ago by now. My reasons for feeling bad started to prickle me—I had to pull myself together, as soon as possible. If I didn't, people would find out and… I'd have to explain the reason. What would I say, even?

Oh sorry, I'm going through a rough patch because I'm single. Oh, and, I fell for a stranger I don't know anything about. I dream about them often and all that good stuff.

Gah. Loser. Such valid and honorable reasons to lose yourself over. Absolutely.

Would I ever be able to get the usual Yuuma back…

Well, at least doing the things I usually enjoyed (that aren't shoujo related) would be a good starting point. I figured I'd make a point to continue my tradition of finding new snacks of original flavors. At least this wouldn't remind me of them, and I'd be doing something nice for myself while I am at it.

On a certain workday, I decided to use the lunch break time to get some stuff I never tried before. I didn't have much appetite, so a few small snacks would suffice for the day.

As the automatic doors of the nearest convenience store slid to both sides, I let out a sigh. The sight of the colorful rows always excited me, so why didn't I feel like taking even one step forward…? My lack of enthusiasm just hurt me more.

Well, it's not like I had all day, so I proceeded.

Something that was light and could substitute lunch… I walked by the cold sandwiches section, they'd be too much for me in this state. Didn't really feel like eating rice, so onigiris were a no-no. Didn't really feel like bothering with preparing instant ramen either—though I have to admit the sale campaign of a pack of five different flavors caught my interest, so I decided to get them for home at least. God knew I wasn't the most motivated about cooking these days, so…

In the end, I decided to go for some crackers and a box of juice, maybe. With weary steps, I approached the snacks section.

Suddenly, a certain scent entered my nostrils: jasmine. It was the exact same scent of that day…!

One moment I was stunned in place, and the next I moved forward with hurrying steps. I entered the aisle of hygiene products, and saw a tall, long haired person examining some shower gels. For a moment, I wondered if the jasmine scent was coming from the products, but no, the one currently in their hands was red colored, so it was probably strawberry scented.

Their perfume, and their height… It was a total match of that day…

I glanced at their face to get a glimpse, but they were wearing thick-framed glasses, so it was difficult to tell their features. Well, cosplay makeup wasn't the most natural type of makeup either… As I stood thinking what to do, they suddenly lifted their head up, making me flinch. "Sorry, am I on the way?"

The sudden arrival of an interaction made me reply without thinking. "Are you, by any chance, a cosplayer?"

Their eyes widened in bewilderment, only for their eyebrows to drop down to form an angry expression.

"No?? What are you talking about?!"

Oh.

I lowered my neck in embarrassment and grabbed a random shower gel. "S-Sorry. I got the wrong person. Please excuse me."

I removed myself from the scene immediately, but I could feel their judging and confused gaze behind me.

I staggered towards the cashier so I could pay as soon as possible and scram back to the office.

They told me the total sum and asked if I'd like to get one more item so I could get stuff from the discount section, but all I wanted was to disappear off from the world, so I just replied with a gloomy "No, thank you," and in just a few minutes of time, I was back to my desk. I lowered my head to the desk, making them meet with a thump sound.

Fool. Major fool. The biggest fool.

What the hell were you thinking? Were you still infected with the shoujo manga you read all the years? Yeah, I'm sure you'd have your fateful reunion moment at some random convenience store!!

Gah. I hit my head again. I'm sure my coworkers would see, but I didn't care at this point. I couldn't possibly get further embarrassed!!!

I didn't even manage to clear my original goal in my mind. Great! All I had was a box of ramen and a mango scented shower gel. Any trace of hunger had left anyway, so I guess I'd just eat the ramen at home…

As I kept my face smashed onto the desk, I felt someone sit in front of me.

Go ahead, mystery coworker. Hit me with your worst.