Strobe Lights In My Stomach

Conan returned to the table. Sassara and Orla were joking together. Everyone seemed alright.

But he still felt a little mushy.

Alright.

Everyone's eyes turned to Conan as he approached. He looked at Sassara. Her eyes were telling him so many things. She smiled.

"What the hell were you doing in the bathroom," Orla said.

"I had a number two alright? Do I have to tell you everything?"

Orla nodded her head. "Yeah yeah. Sure." She then looked at Sassara, who smiled at her.

Oh, so she can be good at bluffing. 

Rian laid back in his chair. "Well, can we order now?"

They did. And as Sassara had predicted, by the time his meal arrived, the angst in his heart had disappeared. Talking helped. She had. 

Desserts and coffees followed. Fiona and Dave took care of the bill, and together the party headed out in the night. It was almost midnight when they returned to the cold city air. 

Fiona and Dave embraced everyone. "Don't be stupid, and take a taxi on the way back," she said to her Dwarf of a son. 

Once the adults left, they accompanied Orla and Rian to their parked car.

Conan hugged Orla. "I'm so happy for you and William. Tell him I say hello. Alright?"

Orla squeezed her large little brother. "Thank you Connie. I will. But don't say goodbye yet."

"What do you mean?"

Rian opened one of the car's back doors. Smirked. "The night has just begun."

His brother never smirked.

He turned to Sassara with a confused look.

Did you do something?

She just looked back, and smiled. 

Dammit. She was good at bluffing.

The four of them buckled up. "Rian," said Orla. "Put some house music to pump up the jaam. We have to get energised. Or else I won't be able to keep up with the youth."

"Stop making us sound old," he said. But he complied, and powerful bases rumbled the car. 

Some time passed. Conan looked at the streets whooshing by. "Where are we going?"

Neither of his siblings answered, and the two lovebirds remained in the dark for the fifteen minutes of drive. 

They parked the car in a dark alley, and followed the muffled sound of music vibrating in the air. Colourful lights were visible down the street. 

"A club," said Sassara, full of glee. She hugged Orla. "You guys are the best."

"We know," Orla said, nodding at Rian. 

There was a chatty queue, a simple door, and a severe-looking bouncer. His orange armband tight around his biceps. 

Conan still gazed at the illuminated facade. His eyes glowed with colours and lights. "Are we really going," he said in disbelief. "But we told our friends that we'd wait for them to turn eighteen before we-"

His brother put a hand on his shoulder. "Just enjoy tonight, alright? Let's hurry while the queue is small."

They waited twenty minutes. Which went by fast, because Orla talked to them the whole time about what to do, and not to do once they were inside. 

"And remember. Always keep your drink at hand. Better still, drink it at the counter so you don't have it on the dance floor."

"Alright, alright," said Conan, flicking his ID. He was smiling from ear to ear. "Stop talking now."

The group successfully passed the bouncer, and headed inside to check their coats.

As Conan and the others headed downstairs, the music grew louder. The air felt thick, and warm, charged with anticipation. Conan struggled to understand what he felt. As if the life that   boiled behind the two large double doors had grabbed him by the stomach. Taunted him. The rush electrified his body. He felt restless.

And as they opened the doors, a whole other world waited for Conan and Sassara. 

The club was not packed yet, but it already smelled of sweat. Colours and strobe lights danced frantically on every surface. People danced, peered, laughed and sang to the top of their lungs. 

"Sassara," said Rian. "Will you be ok with your heels?"

That's right. Conan had not thought of that. 

Sassara laughed. "Yeah, I'll be ok." She was too hypnotised to care about her feet. 

"Dammit Rian," said Conan. 

"Who do you think taught you to be polite," said Rian.

Orla  bumped Rian's shoulder. "I did."

Conan felt it had been years since his siblings had bickered about him. The music, the ecstatic smiles of people, and the love that simmered at the pit of his stomach lashed out in one blow. He felt so unbelievably happy. 

That reminded him of Sassara. She was looking at their trio with affection, like a Mom on the football field's sideline. 

He remembered what she had said.

Kiss me.

They went to grab a drink at the bar. People squeezed in, trying to attract the barman's attention. "How about we order mocktails for you kids," said Orla. "You already drank a little at the restaurant."

Conan put a hand on the counter, it was sticky. "Uhm. Yeah, a little," he retorted.

Rian took the reins. "Come on Orla, don't be a Mom. Yet. " He smiled. "I'll take two long drinks for the yungguns. Go find a table. I'll stay and order."

Orla sighed. "Alright, don't spoil them too much though."

They waited at a table which overlooked the dance floor. Once Rian was back, they drank and chatted. Sassara showed them a game they could play without cards.

One drink down, and taken by the sound that vibrated in their bones, Conan and the others headed to the dance floor. It was almost two. The club was filling up fast.  

After some time, Orla tapped on Rian's shoulder. "Sassara and I are going to the bathroom," she shouted in his ear. He nodded. Roger. 

The girls left hand in hand, slithering as best as they could between people. 

The music was loud. It was hard to talk. "Let's go to the smoking area for a second," said Rian.

ACHOOM!

Dammit. 

He was sneezing again. Was it the rain and the cold? probably the smoke. It hung so thick, Conan's eyes teared. "This must be what the hell's asshole feels like," he said, clearing his throat.

"Well, we can hear each other," Rian answered, lighting his rolled cigarette. "And I can also gross you out of smoking. It's the perfect match."

"So," Conan said. "I can tell Orla adores Sassara. But what about you?"

Rian took a long drag of his cigarette. "I think she's a good girl for you. She makes you laugh, and grow." Smoke slithered out of his nose and mouth as he talked. "How is it going on your end?"

"Well, it's going good, very good."

Rian smirked. "And how far along good, did you go?"

He did not answer. Old habits.

"Conan. How many opportunities do we have to talk about these things?"

He was right. Plus, it's not like there was another fatherly figure Conan could talk to.

"Not very far."

"But you seemed pretty comfortable kissing her in front of us. 

"Yeah but, we haven't like, kissed kissed."

"What do you mean? Are you guys a couple?"

"Sort of, we are, but...we're just going at our own pace."

"What does Sassara think of this?"

Kiss me.

"I think she wouldn't mind if I kissed her."

"Then why haven't you?"

"I want it to be special."

"Idiot. What makes it special is because you kiss the one you love. Is there something else?"

"Well...When I was with Paula, it's when we kissed that things started falling apart between us. I don't understand what I did wrong, so I'm worried about making the same mistake again."

"From what Orla told me about her, I think it just did not click."

'That's part of it, yeah. But still... I thought, if we pushed back the physical part, and built the friendship, then maybe things would be different..."

"Conan. You would push mountains for the ones you love. Orla and I both know that. But you cannot make all the efforts. You can't push it alone. It's up to both people. If Sassara wants it to work, and puts in the effort, then it will."

"You're one to talk."

Crap. He did not mean it that way. But Rian laughed. "You're right. I am bad at relationships. Maybe we both got it from our paternal. But it's because I suck, that I know what not to do."

Conan reflected. "I guess..." He remembered his earlier thoughts. "Also, how come you guys decided to take us clubbing?"

Rian raised his eyebrows. "Why do you think?"

His crazy girl...

"Did she tell you anything specific?"

"No, just that you might enjoy some party time with us yungguns." He then looked at Conan. "Are you sure there isn't anything else blocking you?"

He did not have time to answer. Rian suddenly checked his phone. "The girls are back."