Pun Detectives and the Gift of the Magi (Part 3)

(Good thing )#(2)

The second good thing to happen on Monday didn’t roll around till after school. I was mid-yawn and halfway to HQ when I remembered that I had broken my promise to Lily. I had promised to be at HQ first thing this morning to find out just what the big surprise she wanted to show me was. She had told me about it when we were catching our breaths by the pool on Friday, right before she passed out. I had had so much on the brain over the weekend that it had completely slipped my mind.

Oh well. She’d live. Which was more than could be said of me. All this running around lately, not to mention lugging a heavy box all the way to school this morning, was starting to take its toll. I was beginning to wonder if I was going to make it through the rest of the day. Old floorboards groaning underfoot, I trudged up the staircase to HQ. I came to a heavy stop right before the door. Knowing Lily would already be inside — I'd already checked in with Ms. Lax earlier and learned Lily had completely recovered already — I took a deep breath and went in.

What I saw inside blew all my fatigue away in an instant.

The usual barren room was gone. In its place was a space full of furniture, shelves, plants, all arranged with good — no, great — feng shui. A side table here. A chair and cushions there. Tall bookshelves and cabinets with doors of frosty glass. Dressers with deep mahogany drawers. Potted plants — ferns, mostly — placed in corners and hanging from the ceiling, their fronds falling in misty cascades of deep green. In the middle of it all was a planet orbited by four satellites: a big wooden ring of a table bordered by cushioned chairs, valence electrons of seat— err, sweet relief. Just looking at it shocked my whole body with joy at an atomic level. Finally, finally we had somewhere decent to sit. I could’ve cried on the spot.

The place kind of looked like an old Victorian-era mansion in the English countryside. Or at least what I imagined an old Victorian-era mansion in the English countryside would look like.

Which meant there was only one person who could be responsible.

“Boss. There you are.” No sooner had I taken in my newly decked-out surroundings than I heard that familiar voice. There she was, maid uniform crisp, clean, and dry, a far cry from the state I’d last seen it in.

“Hey, Lily.” I waved. “Feeling better?”

“Yes, much better. I’ve decorated a bit.”

It was the understatement of the millennium. This was practically a complete overhaul. A near total recall of everything that the place had been before, and I was happy to report that only a minority of the room’s previous awful attributes remained.

“Well? What do you think? Surprised?”

“Of course I’m surprised. I hardly recognize this place.” I started wandering the room. It really was unrecognizable. Gone were our days of cardboard boxes for a desk and the dented tops of cold metal cabinets or the dusty floor when you wanted to sit down. This was something else.

Oh. Except for one thing. The lighting. I didn’t notice it at first because it was still bright enough outside, but that old, familiar electrical hazard was unfortunately still our only light source. We were never going to get that thing fixed, were we?

“Was this what you wanted to show me?” It was a stupid question. Of course this was what she wanted to show me.

Her slight nod just affirmed it.

“Then that couch you brought in last week…” I spied it over to my right, nestled between some more plants and a mini table sporting a fancy porcelain tea set. I tossed my backpack down onto its deep, white cushions and watched it sink. Bliss. “This one. This was the start of it?”

“That is correct. I have been planning this since last week.”

“But why?” I was grateful for the trouble she must’ve gone through, and of course the result too. But why now, and after all I had said about her no less? I mean, yeah, I had saved her life and everything, technically. But I figured she'd still be more upset than she evidently was.

“The answer is simple, Boss: so that we can have a proper HQ. The style is to your taste, isn’t it?”

“Huh? Uh, yeah.” I nodded. It definitely was. How she knew I liked this kinda stuff was beyond me. I definitely had never admitted it outright. It was too girlish an aesthetic for me to do that, ever, to anyone. Maybe I’d made one too many remark about her Victorian maid costume or something, though I couldn’t remember ever commenting on it out loud. Either way, she was spot on. I couldn’t deny that I liked this sort of thing.

Lily continued. “Actually, Boss, that is only half the reason.”

“What’s the other half?”

She inhaled sharply for a second before she kept talking, like she was steeling herself for what she was about to say.

“The other half is that I wished to make it up to you, Boss. Because I know I’ve let you down. And I’ve been a fool. But through all the hurt and pain, I came to accept that I had to change myself. I believe I mentioned it the other day, did I not? This whole time I was unaware that my performance as your assistant had been so unsatisfactory, Boss. And so I knew that I could not possibly face you again until I could make everything up to you. If my behavior until now has only been a hindrance to you, then please let this remodel counteract it all. And moreover, let this be our proper HQ.

“And finally, if I may be so bold as to add… please let it serve as a symbol of my resolve for the future. My resolve to become a better assistant. And my resolve to become a splendid robot worthy of the human emotion showed her, a robot able to pay it back in kind.”

I was speechless. Flat out speechless. If these were the thoughts she’d been struggling with, if this was what had been going through her head this past week… well, I never even imagined. And to think I’d been busy brooding the whole time. If anything, it was me who should’ve been making things up to her. I didn’t deserve any of this.

I started laughing. It was such an absurd situation that I couldn’t help it. Lily Lilac the robot… She was weird, rigid, and literally cold. Reading emotions and emoting in turn were barriers I was willing to bet she had to hurdle every single minute of every single day. Her raw strength was through the roof, but sometimes it felt like she couldn’t tell her up from her down.

But she was trying to become human. That was the path she’d chosen. Maybe, just maybe, she was further ahead on it than I could’ve ever imagined.

She joined in my laughter.

“Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha.”

…Well, maybe she still had a ways to go. Her laugh was back to its old staccato self. The way she’d laughed at the pool must have been some kind of fluke.

“Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Why are we laughing, Boss? Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha.”

“Hm? Oh, I was just thinking.”

“About what?”

“You, I guess.”

Something like a pout appeared on her face. To be honest, I couldn’t exactly tell what it was supposed to be. Yep. She was back to square one, or close to it, with the facial expressions too. Long road indeed.

…

…

…

What? D-don’t look at me like that.

…

…

Oh come on. Are you really gonna make me say it? I don’t want to, you know.

…

F-fine. She looked pretty cute anyway.

The end of Pun Detectives and the Gift of the Magi (Part 3)!
To be continued in Part 4!