Get this, right? I was taking me afternoon kip before the prems in the evening, when a bunch of blokes dragged me through some bloody portal and told me it was “my duty to save the world” or some load of shite like that. And even worse, they says to me that I’ve gotta kill some big fuck-off dragon to do it. A bloody dragon! Who does they think they is, the twats.

Well, whatever. Ain’t my world that’s at risk. I’ll just trot off back home, quick as I can.

…wait, what do you mean I can’t leave?!