Nov 07, 2023
To:Bubbles
Thanks a lot for the massive feedback :)
I think the core problem is that this depiction of depression is rather erratic in itself. The message is just the single action of asking for help after a long struggle. It's the "Status Quo" before that might kill the flow for people.
I think the repetitions are kinda needed both to display the struggle and to set the scene. Otherwise it ends up with a "I struggled like this for X months", which is rather weak set-up if the entire punch of the story is breaking that struggle.
That said, it's also an experiment to try a more erratic thought process. It's often just portrayed from the outside so that the pacing can be clearer and I think a 1,5k story is the right length to go a bit more experimental.
To make matters worse - I never even heard, let alone thought about, the term "symbolist ennui" :D
So yeah, it's probably a balancing act to achieve a more "mass friendly" flow. Though it's probably a really fine line to hit if the overall nature is also to be preserved...
Thanks,
Lost
