Nov 22, 2023
Thank you so much for reading! I'm glad you liked it. I thoroughly enjoyed reading your comments as you went through it. Very much appreciate the review!
Nov 01, 2018
Thanks! I wanted to change the tone of the story but it just went back to how it originally was lol. Reading back, this really does sound like a recap. I should've just went straight to writing the next chapter instead.
Oct 30, 2018
Hey! Thanks for liking and commenting! Glad you liked it. It would be interesting to see how you imagine what the characters look like lol
Jan 23, 2018
I'm so interested to know what broke Nagase so much. But I believe in Akiko. I believe in Miharu v2. She must protect Nagase's smile!
Jan 07, 2018
Thanks, James! I had nothing better to do during the Christmas break. x) Belated Happy New Year to you as well!
I kept your advice before in mind and I'm still working on my descriptive writing. I still can't seem to completely convey the image of the scene I have in my head as I write, and end up letting the characters imply what's happening through their dialogues. I'll try my best on the next one!
Jan 04, 2018
Quite heartwarming! Loved it a lot!
I hope I'm not sounding rude, but I think it could've brought out the emotion you were trying to express much more if you showed how hard and how long he was containing his tears, instead of simply stating he held back his tears for one hour.
Maybe something like how he was biting his lower lip to divert the pain of loneliness. Or how he tried to fight back every hiccup he made. How the world seemed too big and too fast to search his mother in the sea of people that were twice his size. Basically building up the sense of powerlessness just before his angel appeared.
There's nothing wrong with it as it is, though. It delivered just fine and was a fun read!
Dec 24, 2017
Thank you for the feedback, James!
I'm fairly new to writing, and for all of my previous works, I've been told that my stories felt rushed. Though, I never got anything else than that. Your advice is really informative. I'll definitely try to be more descriptive of the scenes and appearances.
I joined Honeyfeed to improve my writing, and I'm really happy to find people who are willing to help me with that. I really appreciate it, and happy holidays to you, too!