Jul 13, 2023
To:Bubbles
As soon as I saw “THE FEW POSITIVES” I KNEW I was getting hammered 😂😂😂 I’m jumping straight to negatives tho: To be honest all those issues about the narration and descriptions etc has been bugging me for a while now, and I knew I had to cram stuff into the first chapters about characters and who they are just so the reader can get a “footing” in the story and cast, without that necessarily being a good thing. I’ll admit, that was lazy and could have been better 😂 Haruhi being a bad protagonist so far I can get behind as well! He seems too perfect for you to “sympathise” with him (yet), but that’s just his thing up until this point. There is quite some jump to be had here tho, and a mask to crack if you may. 4 Chapters can only tell you so much after all, but I’ll admit he may lack that “hook” to get the reader attached 🤝 All in all don’t know if you’ll be reading the rest (hope you do, but if you don’t I won’t hold it against you) but I aim to develop the characters and show different sides down the road apart from the one dimensional “copies” that they seem to be. Anyways, thanks for the critique Bubbles I appreciate it and I’ll try to improve upon it! ❤️
