Jun 27, 2022
If there's one thing that you've maintained since Kai to this project, it's the power behind your characters' dialogue and interactions. I apologize if you might not like it if someone would compare City 48 to Kai, but I hope it comes off as a glowing compliment, seeing as how it arguably has some of the strongest subtext when it comes to delivering information about the characters in interesting ways when they interact, thus making every interaction Abel has with another character a very welcome sight.
I want to first make a key note that picking "Abel" for your main character's name is a very particular, but interesting choice, knowing the obvious religious allusion behind it. I also reference Kai again in that seeing how religion played a key part in that story thematically, I would be surprised if you picked the name "Abel" here on a whim. Excited to see how that plays out, seeing as how Abel seems to be the farthest person from "a favored choice by God."
But perhaps that's exactly the point. Abel's name becomes especially interesting, considering when Abel says how the administrative board has only been amping up its efforts in getting him a partner. It's certainly bizarre, as you've implied through Abel and Lloyd's conversation. Why would the board go through all the trouble of "correcting" Abel if he's this much hassle? Either the board is desperate... or maybe they FAVOR people like him. After all, intelligent people who choose to go against the grain can have unique perspectives most others wouldn't, as they are the least likely to fall into the common traps of groupthink, thus making them valuable in their own unique way.
I'm betting on the latter, because the board's philosophy behind this unnamed institution is genius. Abel himself knows it; bore the students enough that inevitably, they'll go ahead and do what's expected for any sense of mental stimulation in an otherwise senselessly-organized setting.
That's just my analysis though, but the fact that you made me look into it this far in only a few chapters is really impressive.
Going back to my earlier point about the interactions, I would even go as far as to say the interactions carry the soul of what makes this story so good within them. I can express that in the three major character interactions Abel has had so far:
With Davis - This is one that I'm most divided on in a good way. While Abel condescendingly looks down on Davis, the one thing I feel about Davis is that he actually seems to have a LOT of patience. Yes, Abel thinks he's a buffoon... but the possibility that Davis is more than that excites me. I think Davis may actually really care about Abel, but due to Abel's (understandably) abnormal upbringing, he mistranslates Davis's care as incompetence. Or, better yet, Davis may actually have more nefarious intent. I really do hope you re-explore these two together again in the future some more, because I have a strong feeling there's a bigger picture here that not even Abel is seeing.
With Lloyd - My favorite so far, for clear reasons. Lloyd knows exactly what she's doing and cuts straight to the point. But with that sharpness, she gives Abel the illusion of choice. The most interesting lines from her have to be in the chapter previous to this one, where she says: "They don't need people like YOU OR ME upsetting the status quo." Subtle and clever psychological tricks like these to give Abel a sense of "I am on your side here" is so effective and is exactly what I would expect to see from a psychiatrist-like character who has to deal with someone with an ego problem.
With Emma - These two when they interact really highlights their individual flaws, which can go in a number of ways that makes my mind race. The genius subtlety in the way Emma deals with cutting the "problem flower" and Abel's rash decision to simply cut it without her permission is strong symbolism on what their relationship will be like, while giving depth to each their characters. Also, I just need to add that I really love the whole thing with Abel getting his face sprayed by the hose, only to get sprayed even harder for being a thief. I didn't expect that and as a result, it played into the humor really well.
Thus, with these three interactions, we can see the following: Davis questions Abel's ability to read people. Lloyd shows Abel's susceptibility to being manipulated, despite his confidence on understanding the world and people in it. Emma shows Abel's flaws as a character, and both their potentials on developing as characters through a relationship (be it romantic or platonic).
I'm going to stop here before I make this any longer; I've left a review now because this is (technically) the halfway point of what you've got out thus far. I'm sorry for making this review so long, but I really could not help myself in putting this out in one go, tying all these elements together. Intentional or not, everything I said here works so well for your story, and you should be proud of yourself.
I sincerely hope people are taking your story slowly, because it's really amazing. I'll read the second half of what's out so far after a bit of a mental reset while supporting other stories; I want to digest everything thus far before I go for another vibe. But I've definitely enjoyed what you cooked up here, and I am very much looking forward to seconds.
Keep up the fantastic work, Oscar. ❤️
