Jun 18, 2022
It's really interesting how because I planned on writing a second review on the most recent chapter to bundle up my overall thoughts, coincidentally, this chapter is ALSO a perspective shift. It should also come as no surprise then, that this is my second-favorite chapter you've written thus far (Chapter 3 is the first, but only because Endra was more set up, thus leading to more intrigue with her character than Iris. But that isn't something that's really in your realm of control).
What IS interesting about this chapter is how from an Iris POV, it contrasts Endra really well. Despite having Iris's eyes here (I seriously mean it when I say no pun intended), we are relatively limited in what we see about Iris in the past, beyond the fact that she's obviously more aware and composed than Miieie (which, I suppose isn't that high of a bar).
On that note, now that I think about it, it's actually interesting how scatterbrained and unaware Miieie is about the outside world, considering her parents are adventurers. I hope that I'm potentially touching on a discrepancy here that might not just explain Miieie's clumsiness, but also explain why she seems so overly cheery. I stand by the quote: "The people who seem to be the happiest tend to be the people who are hurting the most." Guiltily, I'll also admit it's why I'm interested to see more conflict between her and the other characters, especially Endra. What's Miieie like when she snaps?
On a more personal note, the reason I mentioned earlier that this story really hits me to my core is because, if you recall from our earlier VC, I asked if RWBY inspired your story. And while you said "no", admittedly I see this story as "RWBY, but done SIGNIFICANTLY better". While that sounds a little strange, let me clarify as to why that's a big statement coming from me.
When I finished up writing my first fanfic, that was around the time RWBY first came out. I had high hopes for it, thinking a project like that can really revolutionize the anime industry by opening up a major western outlet in an otherwise mostly-Japanese genre. In reality... yeah, it did. But the story was, as many people know now, very much leaving something left to be desired. And I understood this even TEN years ago, when I wasn't even half the writer/reader I am today. It left this weird, yearning hole in me.
Now, in the unlikeliest of places, I see a story that had a similar start to RWBY, except done BETTER. That is what I mean when I say your novel has taken up a personal piece of me. I sincerely hope that you really continue to execute this well, because in a way, it's like I'm getting the story that I lost 10 years ago, in a very memorable time of my life. Maybe that sounds like a lot of pressure, but knowing you, I think you're more than capable. From what I've seen on the server, you've been really serious on making your novel the best it can be by taking the feedback people give you to heart... without losing the heart to write your novel. I respect that, a lot.
See you after a few more chapters. I'm really looking forward to more. 😊
