Peace Poon

Peace Poon

registered at: Jun 07, 2022
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Cover - v2
Work, Please! ~From World's Greatest Sweeper to the Far Future's Salaryman~
Chapter:11








Jun 20, 2022

I like this chapter. The previous chapter's build up paid off in this one, and definitely, as your comment below suggests, Sei and Kuroiwa will meet again. I like their character dynamic, and I could even feel the "S" tension in the previous chapter when she was leaning her "assets" hahah. Enjoyed that part too. One thing I just thought of, with these characters being introduced like Sei, Chigusa, Shinada, and then Yui, I take they have some sort of narrative significance to the themes you're trying to portray? I would like to imagine that each of these characters represent a certain archetype or a certain what do you call it, like symbolism or representation to something larger that relates to your core theme? I'd love to see how these characters weave together in the final act or in the middle chapters, how they interact with each other vis-a-vis the themes they're trying to convey. I think they have some sort of symbolic significance or narrative significance, but as of now, I'm not yet sure how they weave in to the larger story of Kuroiwa. At this point, it feels like they're random encounters, but of course, I'm thinking you have plans for them in the later chapters. I'd definitely want to answer to the question for Kuroiwa's character: Is getting a job all there is to living or making a living? This question resonates with a majority of people who just work and work. For the baby boomers, it may seem that hard work was their answer to getting a good life, but with our modern life, hard work isn't enough. How does Kuroiwa grapple with this? I had a talk with a friend before that he seems to think now that he's nearing his 60s, he seems to think luck plays a more significant factor than hard work, but of course, that presents problems when you view success. It's as if resigning yourself to fate and not doing anything much, but then if you think about it, there are people born to such fate others don't have access to. In Animal Farm by George Orwell, he says all animals are equal but some are more equal than others. There is inequality really in the world. Even in Code Geass, the anime I'm rewatching again from my teenage year, the Emperor of Britannia believes that inequality breeds progress as it incites competition. Is equality really the answer or inequality an alternative? What's better than those two? Equality assumes that there is a universal standard which follows the absolutist way of thinking of morality. How can we reconcile a moral absolutist and moral relativist ways of thinking? Yeah, sorry these are just some thoughts that pop up since I can see some undertones that you're using about job-hunting, inequality, etc. Some subthemes that are very interesting in your work to tackle. Anyways, hope to read more KomakiP! Good job for these two chapters!

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Cover - v2
Work, Please! ~From World's Greatest Sweeper to the Far Future's Salaryman~
Chapter:7


Jun 13, 2022

I think his previous boss, the dog, Shimada was it? was holding back on him if he had this connection to begin with that would've helped Kuroiwa earn a little bit more. I don't know. Maybe in the future chapters when his boss reappears, this question could be answered. Why was Shimada holding back on Kuroiwa when he knew full well that Kuroiwa needed the money? I was of the mindset that if he's working in Poppy's part time, he could've worked also as a Security Knight, double jobs. Since Shimada knew the gal, they could've made some deal to accommodate the work hours? I don't know. I hope maybe as a reader this can be explored even just in passing like a comic event down the line like Kuroiwa saying "Why didn't you tell me this job sooner?" and Shimada going, "Well, you didn't ask." Something like that I guess, but feel free to ignore this as well as it might not be pivotal to the story, however I do feel even a small interaction like this between them can shed more light to the kind of person Kuroiwa is -- that he is poor and is in desperate need of money, that's why I'd imagine that saying that to his previous boss, should they encounter again.

Hope this helps KomakiP.

Overall, the chapter feels so action-packed. I like how the chapter was handled. It's quite different than the previous chapter since the tone of the previous one was a bit more comedy and this one is more action-sided, which gives variety to your chapters. Very good all in all.

That's my only comment though that his previous boss seemed to be holding back when this job seems to fit perfectly with Kuroiwa.

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Cover - v2
Work, Please! ~From World's Greatest Sweeper to the Far Future's Salaryman~
Chapter:5