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Kyoshiro

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registered at: Jul 06, 2022

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aaa

Aug 06, 2022

Wait!!!
Who exactly knows about Ai??!!
I thought that everyone knows about her!
Run is cute indeed but I think she's a bit... Overdoing things....
Yeah... I think that's not the correct word.
She shows her immediate feelings while hiding her past behind that.
She acting a bit tsundere but not exactly like a proper one.
That's the cute in her character😅

The Dusk of Revenge

Chapter:20

Aug 03, 2022

So I guess they're going to move to attack the enemy next time.😅
I am surprised that we finally found someone strong enough to make thre three boys retreat.
Also is Shinji acting a bit like a tsundere ?!
He repeatedly mentionned that the three boys are idiots while being worried about them.
I like how he started to open up at others.😇

The Dusk of Revenge

Chapter:19

Aug 03, 2022

I l'île horror😍
Especially when it is mixed with dôme mystery vibes😋
So I hope this goes very well 🙌
I will be waiting for next chapters 😎

66 Hours

Chapter:1

Aug 01, 2022

Ai is thé ghost of bis only friend 😲
What is thé meaning of that ??
Anyway! Great chapter!

The Dusk of Revenge

Chapter:18

Jul 30, 2022

Justice prevail! 😅
Nice chapter 😎

The Dusk of Revenge

Chapter:17

Jul 29, 2022

With less conversations between the two of them, this chapter became much better.
I see you've totally changed from the -dialogue to "dialogue" form even in this long conversation.
I guess things ate easier to understand. 😇

The Dusk of Revenge

Chapter:3

Jul 29, 2022

So the huge amount of information that was pilled over here, dissapeared!! Hmmm, this is much better 😅
Once I remembered the suffering of Shinji!
Poor boy 😭

The Dusk of Revenge

Chapter:2

Jul 29, 2022

After all the changes you've made on the prologue, I guess I should say this is the first time reading it😁.
Now, this is a proper prologue! I like it 😊

The Dusk of Revenge

Chapter:1

Jul 28, 2022

Hmmm...
I smell some action coming in then next chapter😁
Keep it up!
The new changes In the writing style are promising!
Enjoy your holidays😎

The Dusk of Revenge

Chapter:16

Jul 26, 2022

To:Koyomi

Hehehe😂😂 okay I will be waiting😁

The Dusk of Revenge

Chapter:15

Jul 26, 2022

First I should give my feedback about this chapter:
We started to see the connexionxs between the charactera in this story.
This part in the story is well developped.
I feel like you want to create a complexed main character with good development. It becomes clear from the two last chapters where he give some negative vibes from time to time especially the last one.
I think you can pull that off😊 I hope so.
Now let's talk about the whole novel up until.
I answer the question from two perspectives. Or maybe three.
Is story outstanding as a novel? As a light novel? As a source that will be create a manga? ( I don't know how should I call the last one😅)
For a source used in a manga I think it has what it takes since manga adaptation won't care about - or "" or writing style as long as the story is coherant.
For a light novel, this story is sticking to the golden role Which is the more conversations the better.
Well, I confirm that you did a good job that can be improved of course😅
Everything in this world can improve after all.
Now if we're talking about novels than you should take every advice you get from everyone here. Your job is good but needs some touches....😊
I usually enjoy reading light novels that's why I was able to help on that category but for the last one I repeat that you should take the advice of Tomoyuki into consideration😍😍
Anyway good luck and I will be waiting for new chapters and the modifications on the first ones..

The Dusk of Revenge

Chapter:15

Jul 22, 2022

Rin's past is just as sad as shinji's past.
I liked this chapter.
One of the best so far...😇😍

The Dusk of Revenge

Chapter:13

Jul 19, 2022

To:Koyomi

I can imagine Rintaro and Akira....
But, I couldn't imagine Kazuto 😅
I think you should give him more... Uhhh... Space in the story 😇

The Dusk of Revenge

Chapter:12

Jul 16, 2022

This is just what this novel needed 😍
I love it!!

The Dusk of Revenge

Chapter:11

Jul 12, 2022

Next chapter will be talking about the mission, I guess.
Can't wait to see some action😅😍

The Dusk of Revenge

Chapter:9

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