Jul 26, 2022
First I should give my feedback about this chapter:
We started to see the connexionxs between the charactera in this story.
This part in the story is well developped.
I feel like you want to create a complexed main character with good development. It becomes clear from the two last chapters where he give some negative vibes from time to time especially the last one.
I think you can pull that off๐ I hope so.
Now let's talk about the whole novel up until.
I answer the question from two perspectives. Or maybe three.
Is story outstanding as a novel? As a light novel? As a source that will be create a manga? ( I don't know how should I call the last one๐
)
For a source used in a manga I think it has what it takes since manga adaptation won't care about - or "" or writing style as long as the story is coherant.
For a light novel, this story is sticking to the golden role Which is the more conversations the better.
Well, I confirm that you did a good job that can be improved of course๐
Everything in this world can improve after all.
Now if we're talking about novels than you should take every advice you get from everyone here. Your job is good but needs some touches....๐
I usually enjoy reading light novels that's why I was able to help on that category but for the last one I repeat that you should take the advice of Tomoyuki into consideration๐๐
Anyway good luck and I will be waiting for new chapters and the modifications on the first ones..
