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Kumo-Ten

An aspiring author who loves to write sci-fi, fantasy, and horror novels. I like to write stories about cute and powerful girls saving the day.

registered at: Aug 30, 2022

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Sep 05, 2022

To:AWiddleStar

Your guess is pretty good. I'll just say that Hibiki has found a way to work things to her advantage but she can still overdo it. And your absolutely right about her hearing being easily beaten if others know about it and plan accordingly.

The Underwriters

Chapter:5

Sep 05, 2022

To:AWiddleStar

Hibiki definitely feels out of place in all of this. That's a good detail to point out!

The Underwriters

Chapter:4

Sep 04, 2022

To:Koyomi

Thanks! I try to keep them bite-sized. I'm glad the chapter didn't feel like it went on for too long.

The Underwriters

Chapter:2

Sep 03, 2022

Wonderful novel! I absolutely loved every bit of the experience.
For my criticism, I agree with others that some spots had rather awkward language. I adore your use of description and language, but some details felt unnecessary at times. In addition, there were some areas that felt like they needed more expansion. While the main focus is on Chiffon and Caramello, it felt that other important characters such as the King and Queen faded into the background forgotten at times. It's hard to know much of their motivations, even now that I have finished. The same could be said with Fraggolo as well. While I did feel some attachment to him, I think more could have been done with that bit of Chiffon's backstory.

However, these are just little gripes! The ending was bittersweet knowing that they basically have to rebuild their relationship all over again. It kind of feels like Chiffon is now playing New Game Plus. It's the beginning but there's a bonus helping her out. But the ending fits perfectly with the rest of the story.

I really enjoyed it so much! I can't wait to read your next one.

The Wanderblood Princess and Sir Try Hard

Chapter:25

Sep 03, 2022

At this point, I don't think I can be surprised by anything else that you throw a me. Talk about theatre of the absurdity. I appreciate the fact that this novel never takes itself too seriously to have fun.

The Wanderblood Princess and Sir Try Hard

Chapter:24

Sep 03, 2022

I'm getting whiplash from all of these twists and turns. It feels like I stumbled into a labyrinth and every time that I think I have found the exit, I find that it was only a false door. A mirage. Excellent work. A very emotional chapter that starts to tie up some loose ends.

The Wanderblood Princess and Sir Try Hard

Chapter:23

Sep 03, 2022

Ahh. I see Chiffon has finally finished reading Twilight. On a serious note, this fight scene really honed in on the brutality of her ability. The fact that she is basically stronger without a weapon gives off the feeling that her mallet, alongside the dress, basically have served as masks that she hid her true self behind all this time. Very exciting stuff!

The Wanderblood Princess and Sir Try Hard

Chapter:22

Sep 03, 2022

To:Koyomi

The best first tests are always the hardest. Or at least, the most interesting ones. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

The Underwriters

Chapter:1

Sep 03, 2022

The line about Chiffon having already spoken to the Queen is a little unclear. It isn't obvious if she is referring to the conversation they had after the confession or if they had another conversation recently after the betrayal.

Other than that, I love the evolution of red's meaning for Chiffon throughout the novel. From fear and trauma to acceptance and now to confidence, it's been a fantastic mirror of her own character arc.

The Wanderblood Princess and Sir Try Hard

Chapter:21

Sep 03, 2022

A mystery is afoot. I can feel a thrilling conclusion at hand...

The Wanderblood Princess and Sir Try Hard

Chapter:20

Sep 03, 2022

So many twists and turns. I was not expecting such a large tonal shift. Although, knowing more of the truth of Caramello and Chiffon's past puts his current motivations into serious question.

The Wanderblood Princess and Sir Try Hard

Chapter:19

Sep 03, 2022

Now this is a plot twist done well! Good job. You first took us along the ride as Chiffon slowly gained more trust in Caramello which also made the readers trust him too. And right when we finish changing our opinion on him, you flipped it on us. Well done!

The Wanderblood Princess and Sir Try Hard

Chapter:18

Sep 03, 2022

I'm a little conflicted knowing that Caramello and Chiffon basically have an arranged marriage. On one hand, it highlights how much her parents have been secretly looking out for her all along. On the other hand, part of the charm from their relationship for me came from the fact that she was finally making a choice for herself and not based on what she thought others wanted of her. I'll be waiting to see how this arc develops.

The Wanderblood Princess and Sir Try Hard

Chapter:17

Sep 03, 2022

I'm not gonna lie, I was totally prepared for you to end this chapter with "and it was all just a dream." I'm so glad that you didn't... I'm glad his feelings for the princess have been confirmed. Here's to the second arc!

The Wanderblood Princess and Sir Try Hard

Chapter:16

Sep 03, 2022

The image of Caramello waking up bewildered only to realize that Chiffon is carrying him like a bride is absolutely hilarious to imagine.

The Wanderblood Princess and Sir Try Hard

Chapter:15

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