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An aspiring author who loves to write sci-fi, fantasy, and horror novels. I like to write stories about cute and powerful girls saving the day.
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Sep 03, 2022
To:AWiddleStar
That's a very good point. I definitely admit that I could have described things a lot better. I feel that the later chapters are a bit smoother but the start could use some work. Thanks for the honest critique. I really appreciate it.
Sep 02, 2022
To:Dracors
Your feedback was definitely right on target. I feel the same way about the ending. I hope to fix some of the issues you pointed out in the next volume for sure. I really appreciate all of the critiques as they help a lot in improving my writing. I enjoyed reading all of your reactions and commentary. I look forward to finishing your novel!
Big ladies are good. Big ladies with gap moe are always better. I agree that a cliche isn't necessarily a bad thing. I'm glad you like her.
I gotta add some tension to spice things up. But for real, I'm glad the new introduction was good! That list will definitely come in handy.
It's getting serious, huh? I wonder if Lily is going to start treating Amy differently after this?
Side note: My new favorite weapon is the Amyrator.
Two tickets for the Yuri cruise are on their way.
I'm glad you liked the fight scene! I'm not used to writing action that often so I was definitely worried about it being clunky. I'm glad it was entertaining for you.
Don't worry. Delivery drivers make a killing in the future lol. But thanks for pointing that out. I'll need to make that clearer next time.
Things are definitely happening with Mr. West. I would never throw a red herring out there like that. Absolutely never...
Hibiki was definitely in pain by the end of her search. Also, her mods play into her backstory for sure! We don't go too into detail in this volume but definitely stay tuned...
I definitely agree that I could have made this chapter a little smoother so thanks for pointing that out.
And we love random non-government operations that keep things in check...
You're definitely right that it's easy for things to go haywire. I don't think these two have to worry about that. I'm sure Hibiki would love to know she's doing well!
Thanks for the feedback. I appreciate it no matter how minor. It's the minor things that trip me up sometimes and you raise a valid point as always.
Normally Yui wouldn't do such a thing either but Hibiki was too cute to resist.
And I'm glad you're paying attention. It never hurts to keep a close eye on things...
Well, I was not expecting that ending at all. Talk about whiplash lol. We went from a Hatsune Miku concert to Terminator 3
I was not expecting the truth of Lily's background at all. It makes you question just what made her pick her current job.
Wingwoman Amy is reporting for duty. Seeing the friendship dynamic between Lily and Amy is great. It really helps to expand on both characters. And it was a nice way to give a peek at both of their backstories too.