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Novelist ✦ Singer and Producer ✦ Isekai Enthusiast ✦ 27/M
What is an Achievement?
Jun 03, 2023
Fear without understanding can make entire communities of people do dumb stuff. At least our MC seems to think for himself.
To:Harmonica Writes
I was totally thinking of Rin too!! Especially the cute smirk, and bluntness. 😆 Either way, I liked the interactions. Reminded me of playing lol
Ace is lucky Miss Iwamoto didn’t enact decades of old lady Justice on him, but we know he’s actually a softie.
A spawn camper meets a game breaker, but even more wholesome. I like their interactions so far, it works so well.
Reminds me of back when I was in uni, except I stopped playing football after Highschool. The schoolwork was too overwhelming 😅
The MC seems like a very dapper gentleman. At first I thought it was a lead in for the isekai prompt, but now I’m interested to see when the leads meet-up.
The mystery and suspense building in this one 👀 I always love a good conspiracy plot. It was written pretty solidly, and you’ve got a unique concept.
Jun 02, 2023
Emma is a real one ☝️
We both have a best friend named Jun. Jun gang 😎
Good start! There’s a lot of empty space at the bottom of the page though just an FYI.
~Cat pastries emitting rainbows 🌈 ~ That sure takes me back. I like the imagery so far, very wonderland with a twist.
This just re-enforces my opinion that if I ever gained fame for my music or otherwise, I would remain anonymous. Fan culture can be wild sometimes.
I love the hook at the end! With the perspective I was wondering who the MC was, but I’m looking forward to what happens next.
This is well written character dialogue, good start! 😄 Reed addresses my only concern at the very end about the nonchalantness.
I like the cloud imagery, and I see that you’ve smoothed out the edges since the last draft. ☁️ I would just note that physical touch is a big jump between a pair of strangers. I wouldn’t be afraid to ease into it a bit more between the leads. Good start.
Jun 01, 2023
As a music producer myself, this is right up my alley. I love that his dad is supportive of his dreams. 🎵 Like Steward said, this is also cleaner than the original. Nice work.