Sep 26, 2026
The narration in this chapter feels like it hasn't completely decided on past or present tense. For example: during the scene where Diana demonstrates her bow skills, one boy 'is' amazed, then the other children came over and 'were' amazed, though the amazement was in the present-moment of the scene both times.
It's not a deal-breaker, but it is a thing readers tend to notice.
Oh, and minor note: Diana scavenged some nylon, which at least in real life is a synthetic material from the 20th century. I don't think the prologue and this chapter locked down the time-period or tech-level (and they did update the contest to give us more leeway on the type of fantasy in a discord announcement). Just worth remembering that nylon suggests modern-ish to a lot of readers.