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ART by the AMAZING furies. Please check out Reverse of the Rain. carthonladler74
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Mar 09, 2025
STOKE THE FIRES, IGNITE THE FLAMES OF REBELLION RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
To:Ashley
Agreej. Already edited some chapters to do exactly that!! Thats a problem for future me tho all gas no brakes all the way to the end!!
To:Kirb
Concordant prefers the term very reasonable; act nice when it suits them. We both know the High Lords have a lot of skeletons in their closet too LOLLL
I love the staccato rhythm you achieve with the ending
I love the little tidbits of your personality shining thru the internal monologue! keep going!!
Gathering feedback here -- do you like the MCs just talking about the wider world and their opinions on things? Do you find this boring? I need your opinions!!
Mar 08, 2025
Also removed a scene
Aight, I implemented my solution. Added text to previous chapter to lead more nicely into this one. Added text to this one as well
This was something I agonized over as well. Glad to see someone confirm my suspicions. I dont want to change the content, but some structuring needs to happen
Good hook!!
Great start. Love the personality you can so clearly see in the first person POV you chose for this. Good work
Mar 07, 2025
To:Cashew Cocoa
Yknow what it could use a line break. Added so hopefully the transition is smoother
The formatting is a little bit screwed with this one
Kael eccentrics, I had to manually define it with the editor tool I was using LOL
To:lolitroy
Tmr PST circa midnight
