Dec 04, 2024
To:enaka
Personally the em-dashes threw me off a bit as I read it through, but it's probably just because I'm not used to it. If that's how you want to structure it, then I'll just have to get used to it. It's the same feeling when I took a peek at the novel "The Road" and realized the dialogue didn't have any quotation marks. It threw me off, but perhaps it adds a personal touch to the novel. Thanks for making me consider that--I'm usually someone who prefers writing very rigidly, so this is a new perspective.
Either way, the chapter felt very mellow. It's a nice, nostalgic vibe--and now that I'm listening to the music you referred to in the chapter, I think the music actually gives me a slight different mood to the conclusion. I thought it would be some kind of mellow song the protagonist would be listening to as they fell asleep, but it turned out to be... rock? So I feel like it actually adds a layer to the protagonist, because despite their nonchalant demeanor, the song they listen to fall asleep is the complete opposite of that... as if the protagonist has deep, reserved feelings that they can't share with the world. I know it's implied through the chapter, but the song really makes that clear.
What an interesting reading experience! I hope this novel plays out to your envisioned end.
