Aug 19, 2023
Phew...
Decent concept, but...
This was a bit of a painful read. Periods are your friend and breaks between paragraphs would be a very welcome touch. Some of your word choices feel very, vry off, but let menot meander on this. I have to approach this with the thoughts of a teen, but even then, something is amiss.
There's no real self-reflection on the character's part or motivations on why his love interests, just cheat or leave him. There is angst, but lacks in reasoning. Yes, love is a feeling, but dynamics add. There was none here which leave much to be desired. In that regard, here is a story that says very little about a growing boy's strifes. It's just a wall of words without the slightest nuance. Short stories have range, therefore can have depth. And with matters of the heart, one is to expec5 so much more~