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A self-published author of "The Guardian of Hope."
Drafts available, up until Chapter 28~ Links below for the paperback and ebook~
Follow me on IG: erii1776 Find me on Discord: Erii#5151
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Jul 30, 2020
To:QI
I noticed the slight trend in formalizing the style in the first 3 chapters. Can't wait to read the revision!
This was a pretty sad chapter. The betrayal was an interesting twist. You made a great effort in instilling those feelings.
I can tell you're really rolling with the story here. The dialogue flows more naturally and the overall presentation is solid. Even how you end a chapter is well thought out. I definitely can't wait to read the next chapters!
My sentiment remains the same from the previous chapter. I noticed the writing style is less casual this time around. I have to say, I love the bait and switch at the end there. It's a simple and effective way of hooking someone to the next chapter!
I actually got Bottom-tier Character Tomozaki vibes, so far from the character interactions. The pacing feels natural and gets straight to the point. And, it certainly has a charm to it. I find that the overall writing style may be somewhat casual for my preference.
However, I'll be reading more chapters to see how it lends to the story. But that's just my initial impression.
