Jul 28, 2021
Thanks for the comment! You're 100% right on the first point. Good editing is going to be necessary. Writing beautiful sentences is probably my biggest weakness.
The absurdist comedy is the main focus of this work, so I'm glad that got through as a strength even if you didn't personally enjoy it. That said, I always welcome suggestions on how to improve it, so I'm grateful for the detailed feedback.
As for the last point, this is something I am aware of. In my first draft, I didn't even have that backstory and realized she needed more. I definitely intend to work on her characterization in future chapters.
Overall, while I intend to finish this work for the contest, it is ultimately for practice, so I'm happy to receive any advice. Thanks again!
Jul 20, 2021
Thanks for the comment! I figured an action scene would be the most engaging place to begin, so I'm happy to hear you liked that. Also, I enjoyed The Devil is a Part Timer a lot too! Maybe I was subconsciously inspired by it, haha.
I see what you mean by the first paragraph being a little long. I may have tried to do too much at once with it. Thanks for the suggestion!
Jul 07, 2021
Wicked title, and a hooking opening. I'm looking forward to seeing what kind of struggles (emotional and physical) Kohei will have to face.
Jul 05, 2021
I'm glad you felt that way! I was a little worried whether I was effectively conveying the point 😅 Thanks for the comments!