Jan 17, 2025
I already wrote my hate comment. So now it’s time for a real comment.
Genuinely I’ve laughed at this story more than I recall laughing at any other on the site. You’re a really strong comedy writer and I appreciated almost every scene in this story.
I think the biggest flaw in this story is its pacing, though not in the same way something like Chromatic had. Instead of being consistently one thing or the other, the pacing is either a little tedious or a little fast. It doesn’t meander as much as you think it does, at the very least, and it’s an enjoyable read through and through, especially considering I had ZERO clue what I was getting into when I picked it up.
Another notable flaw is the continuous characterization of the school’s failures without any actual representation of the fact. Kaburi never runs into a gang of thugs, nor does he interact with anyone else nearly enough for me to truly get a grasp at how ‘stupid’ the general student population is. Which, obviously, is kind of the idea? But I’d like to know that his basis is at least a LITTLE founded, or if it’s not, I’d like to see that more on display.
It’s also REALLY hard to get into if you don’t know chess. I’m lucky that I know some of the basics from the time I got obsessed with it in COVID lockdown, otherwise half this novel would have been an unreadable mess. I suppose that filters your audience, but it also loses some of its reach, which may be one of the reasons I’m the only person so far to announce reaching the end of Volume 1. I do wish more people would read it, though.
In summary, this is a super fun novel with a great concept and solid execution, albeit a little rushed given you said it was a chapter a day. To be honest? I couldn’t tell for most of it. :)
— Kimbrough
